6 minor characters that could rule the world of Shrek - part 4(Ending)

By youngstormlord (Tipped by 2 people!)

Previous part here.

2. The pied piper

Who is (s)he?

He is the master of men and beast, witches and ogres and even some things, his tunes will make you dance but if you do not remember to pay him, they will break you. The Templar of tempo, the flute maestro, the one and only Pied Piper.


How will (s)he take over?

 

With his magical flute, of course, of course. With some sweet tunes, he can control everything from powerful creatures such as unicorns, princesses, ogres and witches to such lowly things as socks, rats and children. What little we see of him is downright terrifying. Watch it here:



So, what did we learn? In magical authoritarian distopia that is Rumpel’s kingdom, there is still one free being which could topple it easily. And that being is the Piper. When the power of the state fails, with all the witches and spies, who does the king call for help? Piper. And he delivers. Oh, does he ever. He takes on the well armed and well trained ogre army with nothing but a flute and some missdirection and beats it without a single punch. Not only that, he captures it, because those were his orders. If his orders were to kill them, he could have made ogres dance until they died from exhaustion. Or make them dance into the sea so they drown. Or order them to cut their own throats. And he can do the same to witches! Magical beings, just like ogres, extremely powerful and he can do it to them! Or turn them against the other part of the army, their allies and friends.

But that’s just open demonstration of pure power. You know what else is open demonstration of pure power? Unicorns. Big horses with two-foot long horns? Yeah, he can control them too. It’s a setting on his pipe. Probably dragons too.

That’s child’s play, see an obstacle and use brute force to go through it. The piper has more subtle means at his disposal. The first of them are ducks and chickens. Yes, ducks. He can take all your fowl straight away from your kingdom and give it to your enemies. All armies march on their stomachs, taking chicken and ducks from your army means no cheap meat and eggs for them to feast on. Those little extra rations after a long march? Gone. No eggs for the cake, no meat for the weary. Just hard tack and grain for the rest of their lives... or not. Because another thing Piper can control is rats. And mice!

It has been estimated that rats and mice destroy enough food each year to feed around 200 million people! Rats consume approximately 25 gm of food per day and mice eat around 3-4 gm of food per day. A brown rat will have eaten as much as 50 kg of food by that time it reaches the age of 2 years. What they don’t eat, they spoil by contaminating the stored food with their urine, feces, hair and various pathogenic agents, thus rendering the food unfit for human consumption. It was reported that small colonies of Norway rats, each with access to a sack of wheat for about 18 weeks, contaminated 70% of the grain and caused a 4.4% loss in weight. The total monetary losses amounted to 18.2% of the value of the wheat and the sacks, globally. Your wheat and sacks, with the power of the Piper, while your enemy keeps his troops’ morale high and his soldiers healthy just by sending all their rats YOUR way. It is biological warfare versus whole country, if Piper so decides. And he is not using his voice, like the Beastmaster would have to, but is piping his sweet tunes, which means he can do it for longer than if he was singing.

And then there’s his ability to control humans and make them dance. He took over Rumpel at the end of the movie and, despite poor little man being in deep grief over the death of his giant goose family member, Piper has made him dance. He made him dance hard and there was nothing Rumpelstiltskin could do about it.

And then there is the most powerful of his abilities, the ability to control socks! He can strangle your „real tight!“ with your own socks! Destroy you with a note!

Why (s)he never tried to take over?

Take away his pipe and he is fairly harmless. He has to sleep sometimes, I guess, although deep bruises and sacks around his eyes tell us he doesn’t do it often. Even worse, there’s a glaring weak spot in his flute/pipe: it can only focus on a single group at a time. So, just gather an army of ogres, witches and humans (maybe some evil trees too, why not?), make them go barefoot (no socks to strangle them with) and go to town on the piper. Make them wear earplugs for good measure and you’re good to go. But that might make you Sauron of Shrek universe or maybe, the number one on this lis...

 

1. Whoever made evil trees.

Who is (s)he?

The powerful mage, biological warfare specialist, designer of beings, the Sauron of Shrek, the evil overlord extraordinaire... The being who singlehandedly created witches, ogres and  evil trees. I’ll call that being... Ommadon.



How will (s)he take over?

By magically engineering powerful creatures, making them work together (while at the same time, feeding their rivalries) and taking over the world with the strength of arms and magic. And there are hints about it all over the Shrek cinematic universe! First hint: Bad guy bar. There are some magical creatures in there: witches, evil trees, headless horseman, pirates, robbers, evil stepsisters and... evil queen? Whose queen? Of what?! Ommadon’s daughter, the queen who inherited his kingdom, drinking with the remains of his army, remembering the old days. What gloryfull days those were! And what an army that was!

Gieppeto, Ommadon master of magical devices and magical wooden siege engines. Powerful magical dolls too, who just wanted a son of his own and made Pinokio, who betrayed him! Headless horseman, who lost his head in the war and now has just dark magic moving him forever! Witches, powerful magic users he designed, with a weak spot of clean water. Ogres, who live in the swamp, surrounded with water, who have more strength than a dozen knights and designed warrior horns to order retreats and attacks as part of their bodies. Evil trees, able to stand guard forever and not get bored, perfect for ambushes and even paratrooping, when working together with witches! And nothing else, oh the horor. Frog king, who turned traitor and married a princess. Cyclops, giant of stature, powerful of hands. And, last but not least, his human helpers, the Hook and his pirates and dark knights! And dragons, why not!

And we see how powerful these all are when working together in Shrek 3, when Ommadon’s illegitimate son, who inherited his father’s charisma and charm, rallies just the small remains of Ommadon’s troops and takes over the kingdom in less than a day.



Why (s)he never tried to take over?

He did try. It took the last alliance of the powerful mage, the... Muffin Man, the Fairy Godmother, the Beastmaster, the Piper and probably a huge army of human knights, animals and gingerbread men to take him down and end his conquest. Lord Farquaad’s father was probably one of those knights, maybe even a leader of them! It was the war which left the Fairy Godmother with a child of Royal blood (with no indication of who is the father, except for subtle dark clues tht it is Ommadon), Snow White (the Beastmaster’s daughter) in coma, the Piper without voice and the... Muffin Man and Merlin retired with a pinch of PTSD induced insanity for both of them. And that my friends is the Shrek movie I would like to see one day! Don’t you?