Volume 20a - Retcon Happens

The Life and Adventures of Sir Edelbert Spore

Previous: 19


Volume 20a

Retcon Happens


Major Retcon Alert  - I have made a significant mistake. The following conversation was had on turn 4877. It was always a part of the plan, I simply missed it somehow. This conversation occurred near the beginning of Volume 20 Eventually I will Retcon 20 so that this conversation happens. Then 21 will be the entire Jungle Temple, beginning to end.


Sorry for the confusion. I hope this explanation makes sense.


I apologize for the blunt way I have corrected this. I felt it was better than making you all reread number 20.


Thank you Thousandcats for the reminder.


Thank you Danielle on the IRC and Bandaid for help with some questions I had.


Thank you all for reading.


And now…




It was the morning of turn 4877 and the sun was shining over the Crafty Crags. The air smelled of rain, so there might be some later in the day, but that was up to the Will of the Titans.


Chief Edelbert Spore strolled through his city and allowed himself time to admire his own work. Little touches like the Lampflowers or the flowing water increased the function and beauty of the castle simultaneously. The interweave of Matter and Life had such a tangibly positive effect on the tower structure and stability. He was quite proud of himself.


Although he was in no specific hurry, his destination was an important one. Edelbert was off to the Weird Garden, a ground level space where Turnip and the Weirdish made their home. He had been there on many occasion, but never for a conversation with his friend Turnip. A real conversation. Back and forth conversation. Not just glum over and over and over for thousands of turns.


It was not Turnips fault and Edelbert knew this. He did not begrudge the plant daemon for its impediment. He was certain his friend would have removed the unfortunate curse if it could.  There was a great deal of frustration though. In the beginning things were rough, very lonely times.


The first thing Edelbert always thought about the Weird Garden was how extraordinarily green it was. There were no flowers to add a splash of color, just foliage as thick as the jungle. Birds and reptiles did not last long in the domain of the carnivorous Weirdish, which left a calm silence over the place as well.


He had designed it according to drawings Turnip and Vi had made. There was no floor as such. The entire space was a square of exposed soil. Four brick walls surrounded the garden. These walls sloped up and away, creating the effect of standing within a giant flower.


Edelbert pushed his way into the center of the garden. There waiting was a massive purple and white flower, like a giant lily. Rooted in the ground nearby were seven Weirdish units.


In a lilting sing-songy voice, Turnip spoke “Good morning my old friend. Thank you for coming down to visit me. How are you today?”


Still getting used to the new voice, Edelbert smiled. “I am well. Eager for this conversation, which has been a long time coming.”


“It has indeed.” The daemon motioned toward an iron table and chairs waiting in the garden. “I am sorry that we could not meet yesterday. I was busy Turning that Wardirtle, a surprisingly nasty affair. The SDE daemon are fiercely loyal.”


Edelbert was not surprised by this. “What do you think caused such loyalty, and to a corrupt Chief? Do we know how they managed to break the daemon code?”


“Actually, yes.” The flower grimaced. “The SDE learned that the exchange at the end of a dual cannot occur during combat. They have taken on the tactic of having their non-daemon counterparts attack their foes if they lose the challenge. If either of the dualists is croaked in combat, then the deal is muted before it is enacted. Despicable but clever.”


Edelbert scowled as he spoke. “I hate the Empire. They have chosen to be dishonorable at every possible juncture.”


Turnip trilled slightly, it gave the effect of a huff or sigh “One would think that the earliest Royal sides would have a stronger grasp on honor and nobility. They are not worth our time right now however. There will be ample opportunity for us to discuss our enemies and our roles as Chiefs. For now, I simply wish to sit and speak with my oldest dearest friend.”


“Indeed, we deserve to be a bit self-centered.” Edelbert beamed. “How often is it that friends get an opportunity such as this?”


“I want to start at the beginning and thank you Sir Edelbert Spore.” Turnip took a more serious tone. “If not for you, I would not have survived even my very first turn. You had no reason to save me that day, and yet you did. I owe you my life at least one hundred times over.”


 “It was my pleasure.” the Dirtamancer remembered back to that day “I can only imagine the loneliness I would have experienced if not for your companionship. It must be a thousand times that you have saved my life. I assure you that we are more than even, my friend.”


“You speak the truth, but I wanted to say it at least once. I love you Edelbert, from the bottom of my heart. You are so very dear to me. It has pained me not to be able to tell you this. I can only hope I have shown it over these many turns.”


The thought of all of those turns together warmed Edelbert’s heart. “I love you as well, Turnip. It has been an honor and a pleasure to be your friend. I would not trade our many turns together for a million schmuckers.”


“I am flattered, and I agree. Our lives together have been glorious. Praise be to the Titans.”


That was the first Edelbert had ever heard Turnip acknowledge the Titans. It was a pleasant surprise.  “Well, I have been talking at you for five thousand turns. What else do you have that you would like to talk to me about, Turnip?”


“I have many questions. So many memories to rehash. Decisions I would like to understand. Stories I would like to retell. Edelbert, I think we could talk for a dozen turns and I would not be sated.”


Edelbert laughed heartily. “That sounds like a great deal of fun. Hopefully we will have the time to quench your thirst for conversation. Let us start with the big things. What would you like to ask first?”


Turnip stood and began to pace around the small clearing. “Well, there is something that I have been curious about for quite some time now.”


“Ask away. I will answer whatever I can.”


            The daemon Chief shook its head slightly, causing its petals to sway back and forth. “As far as I understand things, it is not conventionally possible to convert any hex into a city hex. Changing hex types is difficult under the best of circumstances. How then did you manage to transform a ruin into a city, a capital site no less?”


            Edelbert was surprised by the question. Of everything Turnip could ask, why a Dirtamancy question? “Truthfully, I do not think I did it. I suspect that I simply sped up a process that was occurring already.”


            “I do not understand.” Turnip frowned and began to pace around the small clearing.


            “You know of the growing stone I call the Heart of the Mountain?” The Dirtamancer had never actually explained his theories on this. “That is a misnomer. I now believe it should be called the Heart of the City.”


            “What you are saying is that the ruin always had the potential to be a city site?”


            “Again, not exactly. The Heart provided the potential for the change. It was my applications of Juice and then the Erfshatter Monolith that allowed me to trigger the event. I think the Heart would have grown on its own, but I am confident I expedited the process. I doubt anyone but a Dirtamancer could have done this. Even then, it would take many turns of work. Even if another ruin had a Heart, forcing the change would be very difficult to evoke.”


            Turnip nodded, satisfied. “Here I was hoping for a story of your genius and creativity. We owe the Titans much. Well, I guess that makes it your turn. Ask me whatever you would like.”


            “That time that the SDE sent Warlord Dioxide and I was knocked unconscious. What happened? How did you manage to fight them off?”


            Turnip could tell this conversation would take all day. It then laughed at a memory nearly forgotten. “Now that is a good story!”




Excerpts from the Deamondex by Findamancer Red Ketchup



            -# 45 - Styleplume (advanced)– These magnificent blooms are the living embodiments of beauty. Their colors vary from specimen to specimen, including a great number of hues and patterns. They also have the added benefit of smelling like sweet flowers.


            Styleplume gain abilities from a set of natural Dollamancy and Signamancy magics. Their skills focus on raiment and image. Always well dressed, these floral fiends spend much of their attention improving the appearance of those around them. Armies with even a single Styleplume tend to be very stylish indeed.


Volume 20 





  • Bandaid

    Nice to see that Edelbert and Turnip can finally talk with each other. Their complete talks could probably fill ten chapters alone.