cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Speculation, discoveries, complaints, accusations, praise, and all other Erfworld discussion.

cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby taltamir » Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:26 pm

http://www.erfworld.com/2009/10/summer-updates-044/

She laughs and makes light of the possibility; but I think I recall, many years ago, a few cases of a large dog killing a smaller one via mating. then again, dogs don't magically heal at dawn... nor do they have a bunch of HP.
A quick search did not turn up any confirmation of this (could I have imagined the whole thing?). But I found cases of artificial insemination used to crossbreed dogs, where a caeserian is needed; or worse, where fetus/mother size incompatibility leads to death.

The thing about Cathrine the great dying from a horse though are vestigial propaganda and it never happened. (according to snopes)
taltamir
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:27 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby Anca » Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:31 pm

A bit of googling turns up plenty of references to painful sex (and what to do about it), so even amongst people who are generally the same size there can be problems. I think Parson's right to be worried about the possible incompatibility, but that it doesn't rule sex out altogether - especially if nonpenetrative sex is cool, come to think of it.
Anca
 
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 10:15 am

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby Roketter » Sat Oct 17, 2009 11:39 pm

Even if it the broadsword doesn't present any problems, he could crush the little archon with one wrong move. He's not just Twoll sized, he's huge even for real world standars.

http://www.erfworld.com/book-1-archive/?px=%2F015.jpg


:(

And the erfworlders are truly tinny.

http://www.erfworld.com/book-1-archive/?px=%2F019.jpg


... I seriously don't see it happening... seriously...

,,,how could he even explain the loss of the Archon to wanda afterwards ?

:P

I think Maggie was tired of geting picked to go on PArson's little expeditions (It's been going on for the past 4 days! She wants to spend her free time with the dirtmancer). So she prepared this whole conversation to get him seek other distractions or get him so ashmed he'll start avoiding her like the plague, at least for a while. :P
Roketter
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:27 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby moose o death » Sun Oct 18, 2009 12:39 am

that's the best theory i've seen yet. she's getting rid of him. that's genius.
http://moosetech.blogspot.com/ my video game art. in easy to read blog form. swing on by. laugh at my spelling.
User avatar
moose o death
 
Posts: 666
Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 4:17 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby taltamir » Sun Oct 18, 2009 3:51 am

she did explicitly suggest he take an archeon on his next walk...
taltamir
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:27 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby Justyn » Sun Oct 18, 2009 6:05 am

There was that guy who died of a perforated bowel after being... how should I say this... AH: his stallion's mare...
If I am acting as a mod, you will know it.
Justyn
Tool + YOTD + Pins Supporter!
Tool + YOTD + Pins Supporter!
 
Posts: 175
Joined: Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:22 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby pSycHOtic chICkeN » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:42 am

He's not just Twoll sized, he's huge even for real world standars.


We know nothing about archon anatomy. Consider a snake's jaw for example. Many species can swallow whole food 3 times their body diameter. It may be sexier to think of archons as tight little virgins but we really do not have any information.

We know that gwiffons are mostly gelatin for all we know archons might be made of mostly latex. On page 96 we see an archon and several pegasi getting nuked. We can see something like a skeleton in the archon but not the relevant area. Regardless, the archons are highly magical creatures and could probably figure something out.

There was that guy who died of a perforated bowel after being... how should I say this... AH: his stallion's mare...


The healing at the next turn should take care of that. We also do not know what/if archons eat. If they are not digesting food the way a mammal does then they will not have anaerobic bacteria flowing into a rupture. The conversation with maggy and the way archons are drawn would suggest that they are anatomically similar in shape to human females or rubber dolls in either case there would not be intestines involved.

Popping a feminine twoll would solve most of the issues. Wanda or Stanley may have ordered Maggie to scope out Parson's gender preferences and needs. We already know that twolls can do remarkable things with their hands.
pSycHOtic chICkeN
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:25 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby Roketter » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:52 am

taltamir wrote:she did explicitly suggest he take an archeon on his next walk...


Maggie's a little zombiefied-version of Margaret Tatcher with magic powers serving Mordor on an executive suit. I think her views on Sex would be at least just as peculiar as Parson's, for Erfworld standars.

For all we know, if Parson does what she says he could start a Sex-gate scandal outright and have Sizemore come kill him with his shovel.
Roketter
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Sun Jun 14, 2009 6:27 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby Anca » Sun Oct 18, 2009 1:45 pm

pSycHOtic chICkeN wrote:
There was that guy who died of a perforated bowel after being... how should I say this... AH: his stallion's mare...


The healing at the next turn should take care of that.


If she doesn't die before then.

I don't think Parson would be willing to cause someone pain just so he could get his rocks off, really, even if it would heal. But that doesn't rule out sex entirely, of course.
Anca
 
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 10:15 am

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby pSycHOtic chICkeN » Sun Oct 18, 2009 3:05 pm

Anca wrote:If she doesn't die before then.

I don't think Parson would be willing to cause someone pain just so he could get his rocks off, really, even if it would heal. But that doesn't rule out sex entirely, of course.


The relationship between Jillian and Wanda is a case example of someone liking to be hurt. If the archon is into it then it's probably O.K. I think the problem for parsons is verifying that the archon is acting with a free will.
pSycHOtic chICkeN
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2009 3:25 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby taltamir » Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:08 pm

pSycHOtic chICkeN wrote:
Anca wrote:If she doesn't die before then.

I don't think Parson would be willing to cause someone pain just so he could get his rocks off, really, even if it would heal. But that doesn't rule out sex entirely, of course.


The relationship between Jillian and Wanda is a case example of someone liking to be hurt. If the archon is into it then it's probably O.K. I think the problem for parsons is verifying that the archon is acting with a free will.

which is why she suggested he take a walk with an archeon and TALK to her... you know, to avoid the whole rape part. He could actually hit it off with one of them.
After all, maggie and sizemore are now a couple, jillian and wanda were an S&M couple, jillian and ansom were a couple... (then there was the case where wanda seduced stanly). She said to walk and talk with an archeon, not order one to his quarters despite his protest... heck she actually thought it was adorable that he actually had something against taking advantage of women under his command and really LIKED the idea (obviously she has not heard of it before). So don't go dragging her name through the mud like that.
taltamir
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:27 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby Lord Kasavin » Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:11 pm

Do we have any confirmation that Magge and Sizemore are an actual couple?

There's hints that they are now pretty close friends and feel free to link up to do something important, but thats not the same as sharing quarters.
"Act, and God will Act." - Joan of Arc

"Those who plot the destruction of others often perish in the attempt." - Thomas Moore
User avatar
Lord Kasavin
 
Posts: 378
Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2009 5:34 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby taltamir » Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:16 pm

Lord Kasavin wrote:Do we have any confirmation that Magge and Sizemore are an actual couple?

There's hints that they are now pretty close friends and feel free to link up to do something important, but thats not the same as sharing quarters.

as I mentioned this is the only pairing where we do not have confirmation of them having sex... but that doesn't mean they aren't a couple, they could be a couple at an early stage where they are not stoinking each other yet... or they could just be really close friends. But it seems fairly obvious that they are a couple.
taltamir
 
Posts: 84
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:27 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby joosy » Sun Oct 18, 2009 4:42 pm

two words:


Fatty Arbuckle.
joosy
 
Posts: 602
Joined: Mon May 04, 2009 6:30 am

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby Anca » Sun Oct 18, 2009 10:40 pm

pSycHOtic chICkeN wrote:
Anca wrote:If she doesn't die before then.

I don't think Parson would be willing to cause someone pain just so he could get his rocks off, really, even if it would heal. But that doesn't rule out sex entirely, of course.


The relationship between Jillian and Wanda is a case example of someone liking to be hurt. If the archon is into it then it's probably O.K. I think the problem for parsons is verifying that the archon is acting with a free will.

Hurt, not torn up, which is more what we're talking about. It's not a question of kink, unless said Archon is /really/ kinky and really reckless.


Maggie and Sizemore: I'm not reading as much into this as some people - it's not obvious they're a couple to me, it's just obvious that they get along well and work well together.
Anca
 
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 10:15 am

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby ShieldOfAthena » Mon Oct 19, 2009 2:31 am

pSycHOtic chICkeN wrote:The healing at the next turn should take care of that. We also do not know what/if archons eat. If they are not digesting food the way a mammal does then they will not have anaerobic bacteria flowing into a rupture. The conversation with maggy and the way archons are drawn would suggest that they are anatomically similar in shape to human females or rubber dolls in either case there would not be intestines involved.

Popping a feminine twoll would solve most of the issues. Wanda or Stanley may have ordered Maggie to scope out Parson's gender preferences and needs. We already know that twolls can do remarkable things with their hands.
He died of a perforated colon leading to exsanguination, bacteria not relevant.

We have a real life example for how much a woman's vagina can dilate though. Midgets during child birth. Possible side effects: tearing of the skin between the vagina and anus, dislocating hips sockets, shredding of the vaginal walls resulting in dramatic blood loss. I don't really think any of those (minus perhaps the first) are very likely. If a female midget can take a 12 inch cock (see internet porn), then I'm sure Erf units could handle parson.
ShieldOfAthena
Tool + YOTD Supporter!
Tool + YOTD Supporter!
 
Posts: 59
Joined: Fri May 08, 2009 5:10 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby moose o death » Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:30 am

but there are aspects of "midgets" that are not scaled in the same way. they may be 4 feet tall but they still share many dimensions. most notably the face.

finding examples is harder than i expected. not many photo's with little people and regular people on the same plane.

however this photo is too awesome for words
http://www.ksginfo.org/images/photo4_3menSEDC.JPG

that's a future i wanna live in.
http://moosetech.blogspot.com/ my video game art. in easy to read blog form. swing on by. laugh at my spelling.
User avatar
moose o death
 
Posts: 666
Joined: Tue May 05, 2009 4:17 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby joosy » Mon Oct 19, 2009 7:47 pm

so um.. when I'm caught with midget pr0n now, I can claim that it is legitimate research for the forums, right? You'll all back me up on this, okay?? Guys??? Hello???? ... damn..
joosy
 
Posts: 602
Joined: Mon May 04, 2009 6:30 am

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby DevilDan » Tue Oct 20, 2009 11:59 am

moose o death wrote:that's the best theory i've seen yet. she's getting rid of him. that's genius.

I still think that Maggie sees a need, perhaps several needs. Not only would it help Parson at a physiological level, but it would help him to become more attached to Erf as a whole, to begin to accept his position rather than think of himself as an Earthman who could wake up at any second. It might help him accept his role as a warlord and as, really, an Erfworlder now.

It would also help him get over some of this Earth "ethics," to get over his qualms about free will in Erf. He is not necessarily suggesting that Parson order an archon to bed him, but there are plenty of reasons to want him to start thinking of archons as sentient beings and not just as chess pieces—even though he values their lives perhaps more than an Erf warlord might, he still hold himself as separate, infantilizing them, seeing them as drones or slaves and not as "people" or "adults."
They could not possibly win. Every man knew this with certainty, and lo it was glorious.
User avatar
DevilDan
 
Posts: 1184
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 7:44 pm

Re: cleaved by his mighty broadsword - it can happen

Postby noxharrington » Tue Oct 20, 2009 1:58 pm

pSycHOtic chICkeN wrote:We know that gwiffons are mostly gelatin for all we know archons might be made of mostly latex. On page 96 we see an archon and several pegasi getting nuked. We can see something like a skeleton in the archon but not the relevant area. Regardless, the archons are highly magical creatures and could probably figure something out.


True! Maybe for most Erfworlders the process of eating is just like Parson's rounds - you do it because to not do it would cause a loss of efficiency, not because the nutrients go into your body and are broken down chemically blah blah blah. Maybe only Parson gets popped "real" food! It would explain why he's the only one who gets tired walking. Well, that and his obesity.

pSycHOtic chICkeN wrote:Popping a feminine twoll would solve most of the issues. Wanda or Stanley may have ordered Maggie to scope out Parson's gender preferences and needs. We already know that twolls can do remarkable things with their hands.


Haha! Proposed unit:

Hayroll
Move: 30 (Up and Down only)
Hits: 12 (Dat @ss only)
Combat: 6
Defense: 9
Special: Fabrication (Orgasms)


I know it's inappropriate, but I'd be remiss if I failed to make a Magic(R) joke regarding "tapping."
noxharrington
 
Posts: 129
Joined: Sat Oct 17, 2009 3:01 am

Next

Return to Everything Else Erfworld

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest