Book 2 – Text Updates 026

[Xorbon]

I don't think we'll get to hear the rest of the story in the next update. I'm going to take a wild guess, and say that it will end up being Zhopa who will reveal the rest of the story to Parson (and the readers).

By the way, Zhopa reminds me more of that Russian character from Street Fighter than Mr. T. Having said that, an A-Team-style "construction montage" would be hilarious.

[BLANDCorporatio]

Yay, Zhopa's back!

He's the (2-eyed, btw) Twoll who appeared long ago, in a summer update illustrated by some eager fan. Forgot who ... completely escapes me ...

And by the way, Zhopa seems eager to go to battle. Or at least get out of GK for a change.

I for one am a bit disappointed not because this update is a tease (it's not) but because it just doesn't make me don the tinfoil hat and venture into truly lalaland. Instead I'm stuck being the voice of reason saying things like-

- the thinkagram was Wanda. Makes sense, because Wanda, as far as we know, alerted Stanley to where Faq was. Sometimes it's all that simple. I doubt Charlie would have told Stanley in a thinkagram to expect another thinkagram from some other person. (Oh sure, Charlie may have been involved -blast it- but involvement can be more subtle).

- the turn was short- oops, blooper. Nothing to see here except our realtime minds not coping with turnbased physics, move along.

Heck, if you want a tinfoil hat theory, here's one. Garrison units that have been standing around for long enough develop wanderlust and morale issues.

[timh]

TINFOIL HAT TIME...

That would have been Wanda's thinkagram saying "There's this city called Faq hidden away in the mountains. You wanna come conquer it?"

Or perhaps it was Charlie, orchestrating this whole series of events from the get-go... That would explain quite a lot.

In an effort to acquire the Arkenhammer, Charlie alerts Stanley to the presence of a small empire not far away (not realizing that Stanley was Saline's Heir). Seeing this as a golden opportunity to expand their borders, Stanley takes Sizemore (Maggie and Misty are off having a tea party?) to raze FAQ's three cities and start a new side, or maybe just to upgrade them? I dunno. Something silly like that.

Right after Stanley conquers the final city, the Hobgobwins and Gobwins turn on Saline IV (with the aid of Charlie's Archons) and take over Gobwin Knob. When Charlie realizes Stanley was Heir Designate, he pulls his Archons back and leaves the Gobwins to defend Gobwin Knob... Enter Stanly, returning with a handful of casters and an army of Dwagons. Easy as key lime pie.

...

Or, you know, it could've been Wanda.

This could very well have been the case. Wanda is no thinkamancer, we do not know if FAQ had a thinkamancer. Even if they did, I somehow doubt Wanda would ask said thinkamancer to contact a hostile warlord and ask if he wants to come and wipe out FAQ.
We know that any unit can contact a thinkamancer from their side through intense concentration, and we know that units can contact Charlie through intense concentration.

If Charlie didn't know Stanley was heir designate, perhaps his initial goal was to take down Saline IV and get the hammer after stanley disbanded. (since he was out in the field)
Interesting, because that would imply that Charlie is also trying to gather all the Arkentools to 1 side.

Tinfoil hat discussion for sure.

[pSycHOtic chICkeN]

You can't cut us off like that! What thinkagram did Stanley get? What's the revelation about FAQ and Stanley that's being dangled in front of us?

What comic have you been reading?

...

What. The. Fuck.

You should have just changed the title to "this is a tease".

It was entirely pointless to bring up his involvement with FAQ, doesn't advance the story, and only serves to frustrate the reader base by simply reminding them of what you're not going to tell them yet.

What comic have you been reading? This book of Erfworld is in fact titled "Love is a battlefield. The battlefield is a tease."

Should that much chest hair be open in the kitchen? Shouldn't he be wearing a hair-net?

Loose hair would be plucked at cleansing when the turn starts.

... - one of the biggest cliffhangers now is when (or if), exactly, Stanley will break free of Maggie's suggestion and try to reassert control of the battle. Also, if he realizes what was done to him, he will likely be very angry, and the all the units nearby might be susceptible to disbandment. ...

I disagree. Even if the battle turns in favor of Gobwyn Knob it will still be worst losses suffered in book two. Most of the unaroyal forces, the siege engines, the twoll stacks, and three warlords are already lost. A lot of dwagons, archons and possibly a caster will die before the battle ends. If Wanda survives the turn Stanley would expect her to retreat without taking Spacerock. I think Stanley will be quite happy to allow Parson all credit for the failure. This would be the second time that a large GK army was wiped out in one of Parson's Pyrrhic victories. He also gave Maggie permission to "make a suggestion". He might not grant that permission a second time. Stanley is fond of and insistent on formalities. Most of his distaste for Parson seams to come from Parson's breaches of formality.

Units who've spent time with Parson--well, save maybe Stanley--seem to catch the thinking bug, at least to some degree.

Stanley is thinking more too. In Ansom's monologue he mentions Stanley moving siege engines into the river on the battle map. Stanley is looking at maps and trying to move pieces around. More recently Stanley and Parson have an argument that ended "snappishly" about pieces on the map. Compare with the opening of book one where Wanda walks in and Stanley is cracking nuts with his hammer. The transition to reminiscing about past battles and wanting to talk about them fits. Now that he suddenly stopped worrying about current battles something needs to fill the void.

[Cyanshine]

Want... more.... UPDATES !!!!

Cant.... wait !!!!

[warriortribble]

\He's the (2-eyed, btw) Twoll who appeared long ago, in a summer update illustrated by some eager fan. Forgot who ... completely escapes me ...

He was drawn by Xin herself.

[pSycHOtic chICkeN]

Want... more.... UPDATES !!!!

Cant.... wait !!!!

Rob and Xin are in Houston at Apollocon. Go there with a few spare pens, a paint set, a marker set, paper, a large oar with holes drilled in it (a paddle is not menacing enough) and a cattle prod with spare batteries.

You can scan the results at fedex-kinkos or use some other scanner. Upload the images and post a link here.

[gazes_also]

In musical terms, vamp until ready.
Rob's just playing with us now.

My $0.02 - we know it was Wanda who contacted Stanley. She would have wanted his involvement in the Faq kept secret because it would raise too many questions about her role. With Jillian and Faq back on the map it didn't matter any more. The message would most likely be relayed through Charlescomm so he knew about it, but most likely expected the same outcome as Wanda, they both underestimated the little maniac. This may have brought Stanley to Charlie's attention and he then helped him become overlord for business reasons.

Other than that, a throw away filler, building the suspense.

Interesting that units tiptoe around Stanley for fear of bruising his deeply insecure ego and being disbanded.

[Angband]

The best part of the artwork: the little movement lines by Stanley's legs... obviously he's swinging his feet in his high chair.

[Vreejack]

TINFOIL HAT TIME...

That would have been Wanda's thinkagram saying "There's this city called Faq hidden away in the mountains. You wanna come conquer it?"

Or perhaps it was Charlie, orchestrating this whole series of events from the get-go... That would explain quite a lot.

In an effort to acquire the Arkenhammer, Charlie alerts Stanley to the presence of a small empire not far away (not realizing that Stanley was Saline's Heir). Seeing this as a golden opportunity to expand their borders, Stanley takes Sizemore (Maggie and Misty are off having a tea party?) to raze FAQ's three cities and start a new side, or maybe just to upgrade them? I dunno. Something silly like that.

Right after Stanley conquers the final city, the Hobgobwins and Gobwins turn on Saline IV (with the aid of Charlie's Archons) and take over Gobwin Knob. When Charlie realizes Stanley was Heir Designate, he pulls his Archons back and leaves the Gobwins to defend Gobwin Knob... Enter Stanly, returning with a handful of casters and an army of Dwagons. Easy as key lime pie.

...

Or, you know, it could've been Wanda.

This could very well have been the case. Wanda is no thinkamancer, we do not know if FAQ had a thinkamancer. Even if they did, I somehow doubt Wanda would ask said thinkamancer to contact a hostile warlord and ask if he wants to come and wipe out FAQ.
We know that any unit can contact a thinkamancer from their side through intense concentration, and we know that units can contact Charlie through intense concentration.

If Charlie didn't know Stanley was heir designate, perhaps his initial goal was to take down Saline IV and get the hammer after stanley disbanded. (since he was out in the field)
Interesting, because that would imply that Charlie is also trying to gather all the Arkentools to 1 side.

Tinfoil hat discussion for sure.

Of course the logical thing for Wanda to do would be to use a scroll of thinkamancy to send the thinkagram. It's only if such thing were somehow impossible that she would need an actual thinkamancer, but in that case the door is wide open to crazy Charlie theories.

[Welf von Ehrwald]

Even if Wanda didn't had a thinkamancy scroll, she most probably would have asked a thinkamancer in the MK. Seems much cheaper and less dangerously than asking Charley.

[Lamech]

She's Wanda. She could have just cast the spell herself... I recall Maggie saying she was "talented" thinkamancer or something like that.

[splintermute]

Interesting thought - Maggie says any sentient GK unit can contact her by thinking hard enough. What if, when she decided to betray Faq, deep down in her heart of hearts Wanda turned and became a pseudo-GK unit, capable of contacting Maggie and relaying the message through her?

Of course that's spectacularly unlikely - the most likely contact method was Charlie - he's Erf's telecom provider, after all - and Charlie found out about Faq's existence by eavesdropping on the thinkagram. That's the information source he didn't want to reveal to Jillian, because he doesn't want anyone finding out ever - if people discover his thinkagrams aren't secure, they'll switch over to other, more reliable service providers, like Maggie and Bunny and Cubbins and Carl Sagan.

[Aquillion]

Zhopa's pretty smart for a twoll.

And we already know that Wanda's capable of using Thinkamancy through magical items (sufficient for Maggie to critique her methods). It'd hardly be surprising if there was something she could use to contact others.

[gazes_also]

Interesting thought - Maggie says any sentient GK unit can contact her by thinking hard enough. What if, when she decided to betray Faq, deep down in her heart of hearts Wanda turned and became a pseudo-GK unit, capable of contacting Maggie and relaying the message through her?

Of course that's spectacularly unlikely - the most likely contact method was Charlie - he's Erf's telecom provider, after all - and Charlie found out about Faq's existence by eavesdropping on the thinkagram. That's the information source he didn't want to reveal to Jillian, because he doesn't want anyone finding out ever - if people discover his thinkagrams aren't secure, they'll switch over to other, more reliable service providers, like Maggie and Bunny and Cubbins and Carl Sagan.

Here's a wacky idea: as a candidate for attunement Wanda was drawn psychically to the tools and could focus hard enough on the hammer to make contact with Stanley. Maybe that's why she thought the hammer was destined for her, because she could feel it with her mind.

[HailGreen28]

More great stuff.

As usual.

Do we get to find out why Stanley hates Charlie, now?

[valce]

Remember one of Charlie's services was providing thinkagrams (at extravagent thought).

Possible Wanda thought really hard, contacted Charlie, and requested a thinkagram to Stanley. The thinkagram caused Stanley to leave. Charlie, knowing from his thinkagram service that the CWL is leaving with a large force, seizes the opportunity to take out GK, thinking that it had no heirs (no royals popped). Unfortunately it turns out Stanley is the heir. After killing the old king and realizing that GK hasn't just gone neutral, Charlie pulls out of the fight.

Stanley doesn't know this, but he does know that he got a call from Charlie's mysterious other client and when he got back his king was dead. Maybe he is mad because Charlie refuses to reveal the identity of this other client? If so, that could also be a trump card in Charlie's hand, a way to throw some chaos into GK's organization.

-C

[Decorus]

Sizemore has no talent for other magic, but he still tries to learn it.
Wanda has talent for pretty much all disciplines of magic, but she only learns Croakamancy.
Its entirely possible for Wanda to send a thinkagram.
Of course Charlie could be involved and it would explain possibly why Charlie hates Stanley.

[build6]

Interesting that units tiptoe around Stanley for fear of bruising his deeply insecure ego and being disbanded.

heh, basically everybody knows what he's like...

(which must surely not help his insecurity!)

I wonder if Stanley got kicked around a lot before he got the arkenhammer

he does not strike me as the "popular" sort

[Trotsky]

Perhaps my reading comprehension is lacking, but I'm thinking that this update gives us the least new insights per word of any since the fireworks display.

Info:

Stanley is has a big ego... check.
Stanley was intentionally keeping Faq a secret... ok, probably could have guessed this.
Twolls need stuff to make things out of... alright, some tactical ramifications there.
The message about Faq came to Stanley via thinkagram... cool!... but how else would it have come?
A twoll in the larder could feel his bonus change and knew when the turn was over... I think we knew that already.
Stanley will stay out of the battle room for ~5 minutes + sandwich fabrication time... good, he won't come in during Parson's call.

Don't forget, we also learned that Stanely loves ham. The importance of this on future story arcs has yet to be debated.