bladestorm wrote:1 Grow some balls
2 bang one of the remaining Archons
3 realize there are absolutelly no consequences, and start banging everyone he ever thought about having a fantasy about
4 petition the creation of a scroll to summon whoever from Stupidworld that he wanted to bang
5 negotiate their return to their own world in exchange for banging, or they can stay in Erfworld where Parson RULZ and continue banging
6 send units out to find out what happened to the rest of the world since nothing is of consequence since he is in the MK. GK can end, but the units in the MK still stay alive/decrypted
Wow, so many issues with this post.
For starters, this would all be low priority in Parson's mind; we know he's good at prioritized lists and survival > sexytimes would be a no-brainer.
Raping any and all units you like is probably bad for loyalty, morale, and stats like that, so there would
be tangible consequences to side if not to self. Plus he'd lose the goodwill of important allies, and even his coworkers of Gobwin Knob would be less likely to help him with anything that doesn't directly benefit the side.
Chances are that summoning units from Stupidworld is not feasible, and if it is, Stanley would still bitchslap Parson for trying to blow the treasury on it. Same deal for sending them back, probably.
Summoning someone from Earth, where rape is commonly recognized as being against the natural order of things rather than sort of a natural development, and holding them hostage for sex will definitely not end well. They'll defect, or plot against him, or be waiting for him with a weapon back in Stupidworld if they're actually sent back.
Parson doesn't RULZ, see prior mention of Stanley.
Stanley, who RULZ, can order him back out of the MK and possibly even disband him remotely, not sure on that.
I don't know, maybe you meant all this as a joke, but it comes off as you just thinking rape is kind of a neat idea if you can get away with it, which is pretty creepy.
The fact that you reduced the entire post down to rape and sexytimes is the issue, since you completely missed the deeper implications of each item on the todo list, and the tendency for things in Erfworld to use multiple references.
1.) Grow some balls. This involves more aggression. So far, Parson has lead predominantly defensive battles, and has been used as counsel for most of the recent offensive battles. Parson needs to helm more battle where he is the aggressor, in preparation for an assault on Charlescomm. Sitting back and banking on defense plays into Charlescomm's strengths, namely the Archons. Charlescomm has a supposedly unassailable fortress, long range heavy firepower, and a near monopoly on communications; Parson can change that, but not by staying back at GK. There are many features of Erfworld no one has yet dared to tamper with, except maybe Charlie, and now it is time for Parson to start tinkering with some stuff.
2.) bang one of the remaining Archons. Nookie exists in Erfworld for a reason. It could be the same as the slaughterhouses that do not slaughter anything, or there may be some further mechanics behind it, such as loyalty modifiers. Maggie might be a contender for the initial nookie, or maybe Wanda since they both think Parson is such an asset to their Side and that nookie may be what he needs to relax a little bit so that his brilliant mind can form new plans. Once the mechanics are established, one of the remaining Archons is a primary choice to test out how much it sways Loyalty, if at all. There is Loyaty to Charlescomm, to Charlie, and to the Pliers to deal with, which then can determine of the Archons are loyal to Charlie, or to the Dish. That's a piece of intel worth spending a few hours in the sack with a unit built like a playboy model. There is also a ton of other info Parson could delve for while being 'intimate' with the Archon, such as if such behavior is expected of Charlie's elite guards, what it takes to be an elite guard, what kind of promotion structure there is within Charlescomm, how Archon move up in 'rank', etc. There's got to be a reason for why Charlescomm only pops Archons, why all Archons are female, and why all have such Signamancy (form vs function. They look like that for a reason).
3.) realize there are absolutelly no consequences, and start banging everyone he ever thought about having a fantasy about. Said consequences were covered in the Summer Update. No pregnancy to worry about unplanned units popping, no lasting diseases to spread, and if there is an anatomy mismatch due to Parson's size, he/she will be fully healed at the start of next turn with nothing but the memories of the previous night (and whatever other modifiers there are). Whatever experiment he could run based upon something he is repressing in his mind could have tactical benefits. Threesome with Cubbins and Ace? Aside from the slashfic already in existence, that time alone could bring about a lot of new toys for GK's army to play with. Instead of repressing his sexual urges, follow them, and capitalize on them. Nookie may be a gateway to Love, which is a force powerful enough to challenge even Fate.
4.) petition the creation of a scroll to summon whoever from Stupidworld that he wanted to bang. This involves the creation of a summon perfect warlord spell. Parson can find out the mechanics behind it, modify the variables, calculate the odds, and once the process is perfected, he could have much better targeting for what he is looking for. He's already in the Magick Kingdom, and has casters galore to choose from. The ones previously responsible for creating the spell all want him to fulfill his destiny. He can negotiate with that. They supply the SPW scrolls he requests, at no charge, and he goes on to fulfill his destiny. The flawed spells, or at the very least the ones that he tampered with and were calculated to not summon the person he targeted, could be sold at a hefty sum to Sides not directly opposing GK or allied with Charlescomm. Part of the requirements of the spell used to summon Parson was that the caster needed to focus on what they wanted. Wanda started to lose control of the spell when Stanley started adding more and more stuff onto the requirements. By using someone he wanted to bang back in Stupidworld, he would have a lot of experience focusing on and visualizing that person.
5 negotiate their return to their own world in exchange for banging, or they can stay in Erfworld where Parson RULZ and continue banging The implications of this one are that the effects of the SPW are reversible. If they are reversible, then he can go home. Would Parson choose to return to his mundane life, or stay in Erfworld where he means something. Would the object of his affections want to stay with him, serving as his consort on the Side he spins off from GK (as Stanley had been grooming Parson to do), or would they desperately want to return to their 'reality'. Series of books have been written about both options.
6 send units out to find out what happened to the rest of the world since nothing is of consequence since he is in the MK. GK can end, but the units in the MK still stay alive/decrypted. One of the Great Minds is a Ruler; so there is plenty of room for certain rules to be bent. Right now, Parson has access to Portal Park, and can explore far and wide at this point. Even if all he does is interview the current selection of casters and extrapolates a map based upon interview, that would give him an idea of what is going on in the world. It has been demonstrated that books can leave libraries and can be lent out. Parson can negotiate enough to get more books so he can do more research. As it stands, he knows next to nothing about the rest of the world, or where all of the casters currently in MK came from. That represents a treasure trove of information that may prove vital to taking down Charlescomm.