Reactions to A Tale From Traz

[zilfallon]

Nice update, but the more you update, the more I start hating this prince chip He just sucks at command. What kind of leader would test the defences THIS way? Well, I hope he gets croaked soon. Even Bub would be a better CWL than him.

[Ninjaguineapig]

What sound does babaganoosh make?

[zilfallon]

Another fine update. Here are some typos for you to fix:

... Several long and dangerous minuted went by ...

Minutes.

... Even now Phineas could see Lord Winfrey down an adjacent alleyway, booking units with her club. ...

You probably meant: "booking units with his club."

... And Phineas felt they had actually they had earned this one. ...

It feels like the second "they had" is unnecesarry.

So, they have 2 cities now. And the heir is with them too. So, even if Traz falls, they have a chance, low though. Wonder how things are going in Traz.

[cloudbreaker]

Another fine update. Here are some typos for you to fix:

... Several long and dangerous minuted went by ...

Minutes.

... And Phineas felt they had actually they had earned this one. ...

It feels like the second "they had" is unnecesarry.

So, they have 2 cities now. And the heir is with them too. So, even if Traz falls, they have a chance, low though. Wonder how things are going in Traz.

Thanks. I made some edits.

... Even now Phineas could see Lord Winfrey down an adjacent alleyway, booking units with her club. ...

You probably meant: "booking units with his club."

I edited this too, although I did mean "her" and not "his." I changed "Lord" to "Commander" so she would have a more gender-neutral title.

What sound does babaganoosh make?

I suppose I should answer this too, although I was hoping another reader would. "Babaganoosh" was the actual sound, similar to splash or bang. I put it in italics now, so hopefully it will be clearer for future readers. Sorry for the confusion.

And as always, thank you everyone who is reading. And an extra thank you to those making comments!

[zilfallon]

Well, you can use Lady as well, i think. Bogroll called Hamster (a male commander) Lord, while calling Wanda (a female commander) Lady. Doesn't matter much though.

[Lor]

Sorry, sorry. I was just kidding around. I know you two are... well lets just say there is some obvious natural Date-a-mancy going on between you, and your natural Foolamancy is failing.

*applaud* Very nice wordplay. Favorably comparable to any of the geeky quotes I recall from both Erfworld and OotS [in particular #310].

That's the main problem with reading serial fiction as soon as it comes out -- the waiting to find out what happens next

[zilfallon]

cloudbreaker: soon, you'll make me hate Chip even more than i hate Jillian.
Also, why does Phineas get ordered by Duke? Don't they have equal rank?

[Nihila]

cloudbreaker: soon, you'll make me hate Chip even more than i hate Jillian.
Also, why does Phineas get ordered by Duke? Don't they have equal rank?

Presumably, because he is carrying an order from the Chief Warlord (who will remain unnamed). Like how in real life, couriers who would be Lieutenants would deliver a General's orders to a Colonel. The Colonel outranks the Lieutenant, but the General outranks both, and doesn't have time (or move) to give orders to everyone.

[zilfallon]

Chief Warlord who'll remain unnamed? It's Chip, Prince Chip.

[Nihila]

Chief Warlord who'll remain unnamed? It's Chip, Prince Chip.

Yeah, but I really hate... that thing. Whose name is in the quote above.

[zilfallon]

Ah okay, sorry to mention it, and good to know that i'm not the only one who thinks so.

[Ninjaguineapig]

What sound does babaganoosh make?

I suppose I should answer this too, although I was hoping another reader would. "Babaganoosh" was the actual sound, similar to splash or bang. I put it in italics now, so hopefully it will be clearer for future readers. Sorry for the confusion.

And as always, thank you everyone who is reading. And an extra thank you to those making comments!

Wow...I asked that nearly a year ago.

[Nihila]

In Soviet Ponchovilla, Frogger flatten YOU!

I'm sorry, that's what popped into my head on reading the last chapter. I really couldn't resist.

[zilfallon]

Wow, GG.

[Azgrut]

Very, very nice. I like these deamons more and more every time they get screen time

[Nihila]

Nice! But, a little grammar error:

Bub pursed his lips angrily and crossed his arms. He ten proceeded to float to a point just in front of Phineas, and to the caster's surprise, landed. Phineas was stunned to realize that he had never seen Bub step foot on the ground before. And now, as they stood face to face, the daredevil seemed all the more taller because of it. "We have feelings you know."

Shouldn't this be "then"?

Otherwise, it's nice to have more backstory and plot!

[cloudbreaker]

Nice! But, a little grammar error:

Bub pursed his lips angrily and crossed his arms. He ten proceeded to float to a point just in front of Phineas, and to the caster's surprise, landed. Phineas was stunned to realize that he had never seen Bub step foot on the ground before. And now, as they stood face to face, the daredevil seemed all the more taller because of it. "We have feelings you know."

Shouldn't this be "then"?

Otherwise, it's nice to have more backstory and plot!

I was actually fixing this mistake just before you brought it to my attention. That mistake, and another one I noticed, have been fixed. I'm sure the entire story could use a good proofread or two. Maybe someday. In the meantime, thanks for bringing any potential errors to my attention.

[zilfallon]

hmm, i wonder what Bub will do with the mirror.

[Sieggy]

Just discovered the story, and gulped it down in one sitting. Very nice! Now I have another reason to keep checking this site . . .

[zilfallon]

Did Phineas fail a bluff check? Or did he intend to do so? Getting curious, but well, should be patient