Gordon regretted being popped as soon as he appeared.
The ruins were frozen and uncomfortable. He was the de-facto leader of the barbarians there, and yet their camp was still miserable.
They'd been hoping to get a warlord to pop this turn, but Gordon was a Thinkamancer. He gave barely any bonus to the stack of stabbers there. If it wasn't for the gems that popped with him, they'd have to try to forage for rations this turn.
And there were no animals in sight, just endless hexes of frozen fields and ice. Ice as far as Gordon could see. He supposed that this was supposed to be adjacent to a water hex, but this unbearable cold was enough to freeze it.
But, it could be worse...
He heard the rumbling of the units before he saw them: a pack of 5 Heavy Siege units, with a team of archers.
When they entered his hex, he got their stats immediately.
Tonk
Hits: 12
Attack: 25
Defense: 20
Move: 30
Special: Heavy, Armored, Siege, Mount, Ranged
Upkeep: 220
They were black, groaning things, spewing dirty smoke into the air. And each seemed to carry an archer.
They were also very ugly.
The leading Tonk lurched up to his forces, bearing a Chief warlord.
He was a bearded man, in grey uniform, a Noble, by his stats... Unlike Gordon's stack, he actually seemed to have suitable clothes for this Titanless place... "Alright you unaffiliated miscreants. You popped in our territory. That means we're getting each and every one of you into our stack."
Gordon blinked at the man, "So you're planning to hire a team of newly-popped units?"
The warlord laughed, "You could say that. We're capturing all of you as of this moment to be inducted into the Imperial forces."
Gordon frowned at the warlord, "What if we refuse your offer? Will you croak us?"
"No need for that, Caster. The nation of Icebox has a master-class Turnamancer. We can easily make any of you join our side. You're all level ones." The warlord grinned, "You are to get in our Tonks immediately."
Gordon sighed and led his stabbers into the tonk. He'd been alive for one turn, and already someone had forced him into an alliance.
He was right, It COULD get worse.
At least it was warm inside the Tonk.
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Chief Warlord Rockin-Bak was pleased with himself. He'd secured eight stabbers and a Thinkamancer. Icebox would finally have the ability to link casters! Of course, he had no idea what a Thinkamancer, a Dollamancer, and a changeamancer would be able to do together... but that was one more caster!
Icebox loomed ahead, a frozen assortment of buildings behind a great frozen wall. Nobody ever came this far north... Well, except Charlie.
The Tonks rolled into the courtyard, And the Emperor strode out to meet the Warlord.
"My lord, our mission was a success. we have captured the barbarian units and recruited their leader. How are our holdings?"
"Please, you can try to drop formalities. We're all freezing out here. I expected you to do well, and our holdings are fine. Our mine is yielding gems, Fridge is making Tonks, Cooler is still frozen over, so it's farming..."
"I see. Well then, we should hire the remaining barbarians, and turn them to our forces within the next few turns."
"Indeed so. Come, let us get inside before we end up croaking from the cold." The Emperor coughed and nodded towards the door.
The two turned and headed into the tower, as the stabbers were led into the dungeons below.
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Gordon found himself standing in a level 5 city with new clothes suitable for the environment. Shaking off a feeling of uncertainty, he dashed into the warm glowing tower doorway.
It was there he met the Turnamancer. He was a big man, rippling with muscle. A level 10.
"Out of the way, little man..." he growled, "I know you are the new Thinkamancer, but you have a lot of leveling to do... good luck with that..." He smirked and strode below, leaving Gordon with the urge to go the opposite direction.
He stumbled into the situation room by chance, the Emperor turning to face him.
"Aha! there's the new recruit! Welcome to Icebox!" The Emperor grinned. He was clearly a Royal, the entire attitude about him said nothing less, "I was wondering when you'd arrive. Now, I'm Emperor Paten. You are?"
"I'm Gordon, Sir, a Thinkamancer."
"yes, our scout units managed to-" The emperor was interrupted by a shattering explosion. "Blast, he's here..."
The three strode onto the balcony to face a burly metal-clad man on Dwagonback. Behind him were a stack of four yellow Dwagons, and a massive pink gummy ship, floating in the air.
"Titans Disband! Hans, you incompetent buffoon! You're breaking alliance?!" Rockin-Bak roared at the dwagon-riding warlord.
"You stole that caster from us! We saw him as soon as he popped! We had dibs!" Hans growled, "Weremany alliance state that you cannot steal from our territories!"
"It was on the border, no alliance broken. Those ruins are open to who gets there first." Emperor Paten frowned at the Weremany warlord, "And we got there first."
"Because you just had to drive your tonks over the water! We had to cross mountains!"
"You could've broken stack from the Dwop Ship there..." Rockin-bak smirked at Hans, who was starting to turn red.
"Ever since the water froze, they're all we can produce! We don't have a Dollamancer to turn siege engines into Tonks! All we can build is ships, and turn them into Dwopships!"
"You have a changeamancer, change your ships into Tonks." Emperor Paten sighed, "There's no need to break our turns of peace over a level one thinkamancer..."
"Ships take longer to pop than Tonks!" Hans spat in disgust, "And your turnamancer speeds your Tonk pops. When you break alliance, then you'll overwhelm us with Tonks. This isn't about just the Thinkamancer. We want you to stop building Tonks, or there will be a reckoning!"
The chief warlord of icebox looked towards his ruler, an eyebrow raised, "So, you are telling us to surrender?"
"Yes! Argh, if you can't figure out such a simple-"
"I thought so. Tonks open fire on the Dwop Ship." Three powerful hits landed on the gummy flyer, causing it to drop from the sky in a pink goo, a stack of it's crew, about ten stabbers, swarmed out of the molten remains.
"TREACHERY!" Hans roared, "You'll all croak this turn!"
"Says the warlord in the air above a garrison with 500 archers..."
Hans tried to retort, but his words died in his throat, "what?"
"You always were a stupid warlord Hans, Goodbye." Rockin-Bak turned away as the barrage of shots knocked the Dwagons (and Hans) to their croaking. "We should double production of Tonks, milord, they'll be back for revenge."
"Of course..." Paten frowned, "A pity. I was enjoying our turns without conflict. I'll miss them dearly."
"Wait, what's going on?!" Gordon ran after the two, "Who is coming?! Wasn't that the chief warlord?"
"No, Thinkamancer. Their chief warlord is Imrich. Hans was just one of many warlords that Weremany has... They were our allies until this turn. Things look grim now. They outnumber us, because our units pop better, but are more expensive. They also took half the land from the old nation that stood between our areas. This weather is a result of a powerful shockamancy scroll. They have a shockamancer, a changeamancer, and a lookamancer on their side, and possibly ten warlords." Rockin-bak explained.
Gordon paled, but maybe, he hoped, Icebox was better than weremany, "What do we have?! how many warlords are in Icebox?"
"Counting me?" Rockin-bak asked, smiling at Gordon.
The Thinkamancer nodded, "Yes. How many?"
"One!"

