Comments for Prehendo Victoria

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Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Mon Mar 21, 2011 12:04 am

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Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby WaterMonkey314 » Mon Mar 21, 2011 10:49 am

Quite interesting - I'd love to see you continue this! (I particularly love the "twit"s and whatnot :P )

Though... is King Sixtus the Seventh's twusername supposed to be KingSixtheFive?
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:26 am

WaterMonkey314 wrote:Quite interesting - I'd love to see you continue this! (I particularly love the "twit"s and whatnot :P )

Though... is King Sixtus the Seventh's twusername supposed to be KingSixtheFive?


Eh....because...of reasons you don't know.

Its a typo. The writer in me wants to fix it but the DM in me wants to use the oddity as a future plot point.


I'll just fix it. Good catch. It stemmed from the fact I was going to call him sixtus the fifth, after the pope with the same funny name, but decided to change it to be less obvious.
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby cloudbreaker » Wed Mar 30, 2011 3:04 am

I think I'm as eager as Anex to find out what that Foolamancy thing was. :)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby Stryke » Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:14 am

I like it and am looking forward to see where you go with this.
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby Stryke » Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:31 am

I DEMAND AN UPDATE
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Fri May 06, 2011 2:11 am

Stryke wrote:I DEMAND AN UPDATE


Hope this is good enough to make up for the wait.
Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

Imperial Destiny (My Science Fiction Story) Updated 4/09/2014 (link is to first page)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby WaterMonkey314 » Fri May 06, 2011 9:39 pm

tigerusthegreat wrote:
Stryke wrote:I DEMAND AN UPDATE


Hope this is good enough to make up for the wait.


This is full of win. :D Huzzah for more Prehendo Victoria!!!
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Fri May 06, 2011 11:00 pm

WaterMonkey314 wrote:
tigerusthegreat wrote:
Stryke wrote:I DEMAND AN UPDATE


Hope this is good enough to make up for the wait.


This is full of win. :D Huzzah for more Prehendo Victoria!!!


Significantly better than the boo/hiss I expected for the semi-cliche romantic twist.
Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

Imperial Destiny (My Science Fiction Story) Updated 4/09/2014 (link is to first page)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby skarl » Wed May 25, 2011 1:57 pm

update, update, give me an update, for I am terribly bored by reading it agian... the last ten times where great, but the eleven't time...
I'm not serious. I am never serious. seriously!

(please remember that I am a foreign speaker, and therefore make a lot of spelling & gramatic mistakes, and please don't pin me down on my exact formulation.)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Wed May 25, 2011 2:38 pm

You can't rush art!

but you can rush Art, though he prefers Arthur...

at any rate, I'll try to get updates going regularly...I'd hate for you to have to read it twelve more times :mrgreen:

Updated...now quit your whining :-p
Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

Imperial Destiny (My Science Fiction Story) Updated 4/09/2014 (link is to first page)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Wed May 25, 2011 9:37 pm

Double updates? And half the fat?

Now with "I can't believe its not Shakespeare....spray!"
Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

Imperial Destiny (My Science Fiction Story) Updated 4/09/2014 (link is to first page)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby WaterMonkey314 » Wed May 25, 2011 10:21 pm

:D Another awesome - oh wait - another TWO awesome updates!

I love Hamratio already, even with just a couple of lines to his name!
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Thu May 26, 2011 11:47 am

I sincerely apologize for butchering Shakespeare....but it didn't quite fit in a world where there is no tomorrow, only next turn. And I so love that bit of Macbeth.
Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

Imperial Destiny (My Science Fiction Story) Updated 4/09/2014 (link is to first page)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby WaterMonkey314 » Thu May 26, 2011 12:17 pm

Holy boop, ANOTHER update?! :shock:

Too much awesome! :P And I can't imagine how you've managed to write all those verses so quickly!
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby skarl » Thu May 26, 2011 1:15 pm

[/whining]

absolutely great!
I'm not serious. I am never serious. seriously!

(please remember that I am a foreign speaker, and therefore make a lot of spelling & gramatic mistakes, and please don't pin me down on my exact formulation.)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Thu May 26, 2011 2:27 pm

I was able to do it quickly because it is fauxetry. The lines are mismatched, occasionally rhyme and syllables are not iambic nor pentameter all the time. The ones that are are probably stolen wholesale from mr shakespeare himself.

Its kinda like a spackled wall to cover a hole. Unless you look closely it seems good, but the spackler knows it is there.
Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

Imperial Destiny (My Science Fiction Story) Updated 4/09/2014 (link is to first page)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby skarl » Sat May 28, 2011 7:35 am

nice update, but I think that you'd like to rewrite the last sentence; it's kinda awkward to me.
I'm not serious. I am never serious. seriously!

(please remember that I am a foreign speaker, and therefore make a lot of spelling & gramatic mistakes, and please don't pin me down on my exact formulation.)
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby tigerusthegreat » Sat May 28, 2011 10:10 am

skarl wrote:nice update, but I think that you'd like to rewrite the last sentence; it's kinda awkward to me.


Truncated it to just the first part, I think it gets the point across.
Prehendo Victoria - My first erfworld story. Comment thread

Last Updated 4/09/2014

Imperial Destiny (My Science Fiction Story) Updated 4/09/2014 (link is to first page)
tigerusthegreat
 
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Re: Comments for Prehendo Victoria

Postby skarl » Sat May 28, 2011 3:21 pm

She threw her arms around him, and kissed her. Time seemed to stand still...


er... just had it at dutch... don't know what it is called in english, but I'll give it a try:

after the comma, you have a subclause, witch hasn't all the words in it. the (subject/topic/object/theme/subject-matter, don't know wich one is the right translation) in the first part of the sentence is 'She'. in a good subclause, you may or may not repeat it. you decided not to. if you had, this would be the sentence:
She threw her arms around him, and she kissed her


the sentence is about Regus and his chief warlord kissing. I always understood Regus as being MALE. I don't know if you meant Regus by SHE or her, but if Regus is male, than he would certainly be a he or a him, and not a she or a her.
I'm not serious. I am never serious. seriously!

(please remember that I am a foreign speaker, and therefore make a lot of spelling & gramatic mistakes, and please don't pin me down on my exact formulation.)
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