The Vending Machine

[Alcazabedabra]

Your party is standing before the Unpredictable Vending Machine.

Once an ordinary, unassuming vending machine, its copperplate INSERT COINS message has been scratched out. It now reads "INSERT ANYTHING" in what might be blood.

The stories suggest that the machine is evil, but that its evil manifests itself in its caustic sense of humor. Whatever is placed inside it's yawning, beckoning hopper, it will spit out something vaguely and ironically connected.

I'll begin, and for demonstration's sake, I'll double-post an appropriate answer.



Insert bubble wrap.

[Alcazabedabra]

Receive shredded plastic, and a note that says "POP!"

Insert Internet Meme

[Mal]

receive a brain probe in which all the horrors of 4chan are pumped directly into your Brain...

Insert my hand

[Alcazabedabra]

Receive bloody stump

Insert Thriller

[Doktor Jones]

Receive Michael Jackson zombie




Insert coin

[Skyrar]

Receive 50 cents newest hit single

Insert Rose petal

[Pax]

Receive pink bicycle.

Insert credit card ...

[MuthSera]

receive billy mays.

Insert balls of steel.

[malekith]

recieve metal baby

insert pr0nz

[Itzal]

Recieve Prawns

insert Harley Davidson motercycle

[Doktor Jones]

Receive fat, greasy hog, still alive


Insert cell phone

[Rhyme-o-mancer]

Receive tween who is bored with the current setting

Insert mango

[Pax]

Receive slightly-used Segway

Insert velvet painting of Elvis ...

[MuthSera]

Recieve Alannah Myles

Insert the arkenhammer

[Itzal]

Recieve a rotting croaked blue Dwagon

insert Alanis Morissette (just cause i want to get rid of her BP)

[Pax]

Receive DVD of Dogma.

Insert Harry Potter novel ...

[malekith]

recieve Barry Trotter book

Insert 'Its a wonderful life' DVD

[Alcazabedabra]

Receive Necronomicon.

Insert sonic screwdriver.

[MuthSera]

Recieve Hedgehog handyman.

Insert river

[malekith]

recieve sewage


insert glorious ideal