The Arkentool War - Prologue: "Gathering Clouds"

[Nihila]

Betia grins viciously.

"With respect, Chief, I would recommend continuing the fight. We do owe a debt to Alkimia, and it should be a pleasure to croak more of these invaders. Even if we can't win, we can make our defeat glorious."

[BLANDCorporatio]

WTFATBITTAWPTTBTMFAHL!!1123

Joan could not believe it. Kirk's offer of an alliance, for one, or Alkimia's stupid- there was no other word, unless treacherous would fit better- to pull their well placed units from the front. What were those idiots thinking, the Alkimian regiment would have made life hell for the advance forces of this Dwagon faction. It would have helped Alkimia more to keep those troops fighting here, in a defensive position, rather than marching home for who knows how many turns, in the open.

This Dwagon faction on the other hand surely must be doing something right, to be able to afford all those beasts. Competent leadership, that must be it. Surely the Overlord of this side was an enlightened and wise individual. Would be a welcome change from Cameria's paranoid King or Alkimia's brand of whimsy.

And it would be so easy to just join them ... even that sorry excuse for a monarch was leaning towards accepting an alliance with the invaders, so Duty and Loyalty constrained Joan not in the slightest. Oh, those Alkimians will pay for that stupid decision; if not this one, then another of Joan's incarnations will see to it.

But there was something ... odd about Kirk.

"You mentioned a rebirth," Joan said, "and that it confuses you. What is it and why?"

OOC: seriously guys, F.U.C.K. Alkimia. I'm clutching at straws to find one good reason for Joan not to tell the King that joining GK is the first sign of wisdom he's displayed the last three turns.

[Nihila]

OOC: Heh, yeah, the only reason Betia's pushing for attacking GK is because he's a bloodthirsty lunatic. And he figures there's more things to croak on the GK side, so he has a better chance of croaking a lot of units that way.

[BLANDCorporatio]

So yeah, anyway. The thing is I'd like to see what Kirk's saying about that rebirth thing, and there's also one other item that I want a clarification on.

Treaties. Specifically, what the Camerian Knights know about them, and how binding they can be. Because of course a side like Cameria cannot afford to trust any random strangers knocking on their door. Nor old neighbours, for that matter.

Because basically Cameria is in a "evil you know" vs. "evil you don't" situation. Either it sticks to the status quo ("evil you know") and grits its teeth and puts up its maybe final fight (against the inclinations of its King and disappointment with its Northern Allies), or "evil it doesn't" (this new side). So the first order of business is to determine how much can be gleaned about the "evil you don't know".

And the next order of business is to decide what kind of people the Knights are- which would they choose from the two evils. The King appears to have made his choice.

[WaterMonkey314]

OOC: Mm... this is a rather complex situation, and certainly not one I'd expected. I'll hopefully have it up tomorrow.

[WaterMonkey314]

Apologies for the extended delay - I didn't quite have the block of time that I thought I would have.

Kirk seems reluctant to talk about his past... perhaps the enhanced interrogation is wearing off. A second round ensues, after which he is willing to talk again...

"I was not popped for Gobwin Knob - in fact, I have only served them for a handful of turns. But I was not captured and turned; I did not betray my former side. I was reborn - popped anew.

I was popped for a far away side, called the United Federation of Erf. I was sent immediately to serve in its pride - its flying force, called Starfleet. Our flyers were some of the best on Erf; we had a Dollamancer-Thinkamancer-Weirdomancer tri-link that built amazing flying ships for us. For hundreds of turns, no one challenged us, and we roamed far and wide across Erf, exploring and keeping our home safe.

When we heard that a Croakamancer serving Stanley the Plaid had attuned to the Arkenpliers, we began to watch things more closely. When she and her Decrypted rolled through the Western Continent, we feared that she would be nigh-unstoppable if she reached us - a chance we were not willing to take. I was dispatched at the head of a force to destroy her army and stamp it out early.

I was confident nothing could stand up to our ships - not even Dwagons - and I led a direct charge into the heart of the enemy army. I was right - our weapons blasted through the Dwagons with ease - but it didn't matter. The enemy had seen us coming and prepared for the attack. Their Foolamancer threw illusions everywhere, making us think we'd fired on each other; Archons whipped up a Shockamancy storm; and their Dirtamancer covered the ground in traps. The storm forced us to the ground; as we landed, the traps detonated, tearing up our precious ships. Without our ships, all hope was lost - I fell fighting a swarm of mere Pikers.

But I and my former crew arose again shortly afterwards - and we saw the error of our ways. We are mere tools of Fate, helping to unite Erf and the Tools of the Titans. My former side saw this as a threat; I see now that we mean only the best for everyone by giving them this chance to fulfill their Fate. We mean no harm to anyone; we would be happy to assimilate everyone peacefully rather than having to fight. But to be honest, it is difficult to throw off hundreds of turns of wrong thinking; I still get confused at times.

Again, I urge you, join us - let yourselves be reborn and see the light. Be popped anew and play the role that was written for you."


As Capt. Kirk finishes talking, another Thinkagram comes in - though this time a private one to Joan rather than a broadcast:

"Greetings, Chief - apologies for my previous indiscretion.

Gobwin Knob has relayed their proposed treaty, which runs as follows:

Recognizing that Gobwin Knob forces recently entered the territory of the Kingdom of Cameria unannounced,

Further recognizing that the Kingdom of Cameria immediately fought valiantly to defend its territory, and its units demonstrated admirable valor in battle,

Noting with regret that many Camerian and Gobwin soldiers perished in the conflict,

Emphasizing that Gobwin Knob seeks to avoid excessively destructive conflict,

The Kingdom of Cameria and the Nation of Gobwin Knob hereby:

1) PROCLAIM an immediate end to all hostilities,
2) GUARANTEE that Cameria will provide safe passage to all Gobwin Knob units on their way north to the Federation of Alkimia,
3) FURTHER GUARANTEE that Gobwin Knob units will pass peacefully through Camerian territory,
4) PLEDGE the immediate release of any prisoners of war taken in the conflict,
5) SOLEMNLY AFFIRM that a breach of any of these terms of this treaty will be penalized with a reparatory payment due immediately to the violated party of the sum of $1 million Schmuckers.

They say that we can take our time deciding on the treaty and to let them know if we'd like to change anything."


Joan, unfortunately, doesn't get much time to think about the treaty, as she receives yet another Thinkagram...
This call brought to you by Charlescomm, Erf's leader in just-in-time services! Offering a wide range of service ranging from security and insurance to finance and communications, Charlescomm has the perfect solution for your pressing problems!

"Good morning, Chief Warlord. I'm Lord Smith, Minister of the Navy of the Federation of Alkimia. I hope I'm not calling you at an inconvenient time, but King Alfred isn't taking my calls - not that I'm surprised, after that ridiculous declaration!

That was an absolute abomination! The Minister of Foreign Affairs voted against it, as did I - and the others went along with it only reluctantly. Demanding that you singlehandedly hold off a force that's destroyed most of the other sides on this Continent - while recalling our only troops in the area? The lower ranks don't know a thing about it, or else I'd expect a good many of them would be up in arms!

I would offer you help, but I'm afraid that's beyond my power; I don't have many rivergoing vessels, and none can reach in time. But I do give you my deepest sympathies and apologies for our earlier actions.

The fact of the matter is that things have become very complicated here at home. The First Minister has been ill for about thirty turns, and the Signs don't look good at all for him. As he's gotten sicker, he's been able to make less and less decisions for himself; now he's just going along with whomever has his ear. The remaining members on the Privy Council have been maneuvering frantically to get his ear, for whomever has his ear when he croaks will very likely succeed him - we don't have a normal succession system, you see. Lord Crust, the Minister of War, has been trying very very hard to be his successor, and until very recently seemed to be doing rather well.

It was his idea to make a stand in Gall at Maginot; he ordered nearly every soldier we had to the front to make our stand. A victory against the witch would have secured his position without a doubt, and he had every confidence in his troops. But two turns ago, we learned they wouldn't get to prove him right (or wrong, as the case might have been) when you sighted the Dwagons.

You can imagine Lord Crust's consternation when he realized that Gobwin Knob was trying to avoid a direct fight. Suddenly, he went from being a potential war hero to the man who lost Alkimia. Quite simply, he panicked. He shut himself up for an entire turn, refusing to give orders, before he came out in a frenzy. He recalled the entire force at Gall - told them to turn around and march at full speed; to break formation and leave the slow units behind. He recalled the Alkaline to defend Auria - even though by my calculations they'll get stuck in the field tonight. He called in every favor he had and used every piece of blackmail he could to force through that statement.

He got his statement, and he got his troops to turn around and run like headless chickens - but he is vulnerable. I don't think the other ministers will take much more of this; the whispers have already started. It's not a matter of if but when this will get to the lower ranks, and when that happens, things might get very ugly for Lord Crust. Alkmia itself is not yet in mortal danger - we have a capital site in the islands off the coast - but losing the heartland for the first time in the history of the Side while throwing our oldest ally overboard will not go over well.

So, I ask you to please not be too offended by our statement. We have not all gone mad yet, and the sane are trying to stop the insane before it's too late for both of us. I really would appreciate it if you'd let King Alfred know before does anything too rash. If you must reach me, just call me collect via Charlescomm - money's the one thing I do have at the moment.

Good day, and Godspeed.

[BLANDCorporatio]

Joan's head felt dizzy. Too much information to take all at once. She needed rest, or some time to think. Fortunately, time was always on one's side in Erfworld.

"Sir Betia, see that the prisoner is well cared for, he is after all a valiant warlord. I shall retreat and converse with the king about our new course of action."

And with that, Joan left the room, but not to talk to the King. Not yet. She was digesting the treaty offered by the invaders. It seemed fair, and safe to accept.

OOC: I must ask about Erfworld treaties: how binding are they? Meaning, would that 1 million schmuckers be guaranteed to be paid upon attacking? Obviously if GK were to decide "screw the treaty we'll croak you anyways", they could, on Stupidworld, be able to do this without forking over 1000000 schm. Imagine the amount of Stabbers we could get out of that.

On the other hand, there was the desperate call of the Navy Minister. By thinkagram, anyone could sound desperate, or honest, or remorseful - any way they wished. That's why actions spoke louder than Thinkagrams and Alkimia's actions spoke very little that was good. Good for Cameria, anyway.

Still, there was something in Joan's mind that felt sympathy for the Minister. Inertia, maybe that's what it was. Old Loyalties, or Enmities, are not quick to quench. Even Kirk in the dungeon seemed to see that. And though Alkimia's recent actions were as sure a doom sentence for Cameria as if Alkimia had carried out the attack itself, there was, maybe, some hope of reconciliation. Would it be worth pursuing though?

"Lilly." Joan called with her mind. "I want to talk to you about treaties. We've been offered one by our invaders, and I'd like to know how fair it is. And if there are any loop-holes."

[BLANDCorporatio]

OOC: hm, let's see. In-char, it's worth talking to Lilly, then the Minister of Alkimia (if I figure out some lateral solution after Lilly says her piece), then the King. And hopefully then, we'll see what to do.

The thing is, and I'm kinda afraid this is not proper RP but here goes, I'd like to see if a "lateral"/"have your cake and eat it too" solution is possible. I've got no idea what it would be (yet), I just know that the simple clear reasonable in-char solution (ally with GK) is "too easy".

[Nihila]

OOC: WaterMonkey, have you read one too many UN resolution?

At this point, I think we just try to wrap this conflict up.

[BLANDCorporatio]

Indeed.

Waiting for WaterMonkey314 to write some text for Lilly, then it's pretty much a wrap.

[tigerusthegreat]

Sir Tigger leaned on the ramparts of the wall. His plans....strategems...all of it was for naught. That he had held this city, and was ready to counter-attack at all risk and costs for his King...all of it did not matter any longer. He looked back at the table with its miniature representations of his troops and other commanders. With a snarl, he swept them to the floor. They clattered, the tiny representation of himself snapped neatly in two by the cruel masonry below him.

Those that led here were fools, beset by fools, besieged by bigger fools. There were few options, and none that were good. He collapsed into a nearby chair, stiff and stony, nearly breaking his tailbone in the process. He was lost in his thoughts, glaring at the distant wings of the dragons that were now his erstwhile allies...wondering how long until he had to face dragonfire...when the larger nations were done eating each other.

OOC: I haven't made up units for the next incarnation of this, what exactly do you want before we begin.

[WaterMonkey314]

OOC: Nihila, myes, perhaps I have. But they're quite concise compared to a full treaty... and are famously... well...

BLAND, I don't have a set solution in mind; I've just got objectives for the various sides involved. If you can find a way to make them all happy, perhaps you can earn the Erfbel Peace Prize.

Also, Schmuckers are not exactly equivalent to pop points (I'm planning on phasing in a clarification of the two), but for now you can think of them as at a one to one relationship.

tigerusthegreat, what exactly I want kinda depends on what you guys decide to do. But what I asked Nihila to do was to design 5 units or so and a side with background (more info in the other thread, I think).

I will have Lily's analysis up tomorrow.

[WaterMonkey314]

"Umm... well, you haven't paid for our legal consulting services, but I really do sympathize with you guys - I think I'll just comp it!

This treaty's written in a distinctive style that's unfortunately known for its ambiguity and vagueness. Luckily for you, it's not not the worst I've seen, but there are some loopholes:

• No time limit is given on this treaty, which could prove interesting in the distant future.
• No arbitration procedure is suggested in the event of a dispute.
• This isn't a formal alliance, so you will retain separate turns. Also, it is unclear what happens with unled units - they may well auto-engage, and it's also unclear if that would constitute a violation of the treaty. And again, there is no arbitration procedure to resolve such a dispute.
• The operative clause for the penalty payment is "solemnly affirm"; although both sides pledge their honor, nothing really guarantees anything will be paid. Also, I can't determine if $1 million is a massive enough sum to preclude any issues from Gobwin Knob.
• Technically you could attack any units that turn around and head south for some reason - that's at least one point in your favor.

So overall, it's not bad. Not ironclad, mind you - that arbitration issue could be problematic. I might even go so far as to point out that Charlescomm's arbitration fees are highly affordable and can even work on commission! But if youg uys think you're fine with those loopholes, then go with it.

[BLANDCorporatio]

"Thank you Lilly. Yes, arbitration from Charlescomm is good advice. I'd like to hire Charlescomm to modify the treaty however. Make the payment for a breech compulsory, and make unled attacks by Gobwin Knob on our forces, or unled attacks from us that hinder Gobwin Knob's progress towards Alkimia, also punishable by a fine. That would be the big print."

"The between the lines meaning," Joan continued, "Should an attack not covered by the treaty occur, then the treaty immediately becomes null and void. Coach this in as much legalese as possible, as I do not want the condition of annulment to be at all clear."

And so so Joan prepared to send a few messages. To the King, a recommendation to accept the EULA, provided the modifications as suggested by Charlescomm would be accepted by Gobwin Knob. And to the Minister of the Alkimian Navy:

"Good day, Minister. Cameria sympathizes with your predicament, but we ask you to understand, actions speak louder than the most eloquent words. In terms of actions, Alkimia is not being supportive to our Kingdom. As you yourself have said, Cameria cannot hold the forces of Gobwin Knob at bay on its own. Therefore we have sought a non-aggression pact. We will not attack the Gobwin Knob forces, nor you; we shall stay out of this battle ...

I do hope you get your house in order, however. If you do, send a quick stack southward. You will lose it, but you may find some pincers in its stead."

D'ya see what she's doing there?

Well, I'm not cut for being a Machiavellian leader irl, so let's just assume the above is deception to the best of my ability.

So, tl;dr: Cameria hires Charlescomm to modify the treaty (and for future arbitration). Sends it to GK, saying "we accept". Kirk is freed and rejoins GK.

Treaty grants GK safe passage through Cameria towards Alkimia, while Cameria maintains neutral status in the battle. Alkimia is likely understandably pissed.

BUT, lurking in the treaty is a nullification clause in case of an attack not covered by the treaty. The fact that Camerian attacks on south-bound GK units are not covered by the treaty thus provides a hopefully hidden exit.

TEH EDN

Or is it?

(EDIT: no need to give us the full text of the EULA, I mean treaty, post-modification. Presumably, said annulment clause could be some variation of "in the event that one side requires reparation, but an arbitrating party, upon examining the treaty, deems the request unfounded, then the treaty is rendered null and void". Only much more obscure.)

[tigerusthegreat]

Sir Tigger brooded. They were talking treaties and terms, bickering over minutia instead of fighting. He was a man of action, unused to this drivel of politics.

build me an army worthy of me.

Sir Tigger started. He had been staring into the fire and thought he saw something there.....a face. He must be dreamily dozing.

be my striking arm, my arrow in flight.

There was an unfamiliar face in the flames. It was an old man, but power adiated from him. It was enthralling. Tigger knew he must serve this man if he wanted to fight when his nation would not.

"What kis that?" Yenniw yelled from behind. Tigger turned to him. His sword left the scabbard and the room went red.

[WaterMonkey314]

Myes, this is the end of the Prologue. Apologies for the delay - I've needed a bit of a break to collect my thoughts and whatnot.

Concluding scenes will be up this weekend; hopefully the map and/or rules will be as well. I still need unit and side designs from BLAND and HerbieRai; I'll be PMing you guys as well.

[WaterMonkey314]

Elsewhere, again with the large potato-man...
"Lord, the Camerians have submitted their counter-offer. The main change is that they've asked to use Charlescomm for arbitration if necessary."

"Go ahead with it - we're not going to cheat them... though I suppose Charlie certainly might try if it ever comes to that. Oh well. We need to keep moving - we can afford it."

City of Oldcastle, Kingdom of Cameria:
To the Privy Council of the Federation of Alkimia:

It is with the greatest regret that I must inform you that the Kingdom of Cameria will be unable to comply with your recent request for support. The enemy forces here are more than enough to croak every single one of us several times over; we would not last a turn against an all-out onslaught. Yet they have offered us peace - they will leave us alone if let them pass. It is an unusual offer - after all, why would such a powerful side view us as anything more than a hindrance to be swatted? - and we cannot throw it away wantonly. Meanwhile, you have asked us to resist the invaders for as long as possible while you recall your troops from their misguided foray. And while you do so, you pull desperately needed troops from the front, where they can do damage, to the borderlands between our nations, where they will fall in irrelevance.

You ask us to give our lives, to give our side, to give everything for Alkimia, but our Duty lies not to Alkimia, but to Cameria. Indeed, we would like to remind you of the origins of our nations: if anything, Alkimia should fall for Cameria, not vice versa. We will not - we cannot - die for the mistakes you have made, not while we protect what must be protected. And so, we have accepted the offer made by Gobwin Knob. We will stand aside as their troops move north to Alkimia, and in return, they will leave us unharmed. We are not formally breaking alliance with Alkimia, but expect no further military cooperation for the duration of this conflict.

Good luck, and may the Titans smile upon you.
King Alfred, Ruler of the Kingdom of Cameria

City of Neufchatel, Kingdom of Cameria:
"All right, Captain, if you'll just stand here while we unshackle you... excellent. Here is your sword, and now let us shake hands. I cannot wish you good luck, for you will be fighting my friends, but let us still part amicably."

"Thank you, Private."

"And here is the Gobwin Knob delegation. You're free to cross the boundary, sir. Farewell."

"Captain, it's good to see you again."

"You as well, Lady. I must contact central command immediately - I have important information about the positioning of the Alkimian army."

END OF PROLOGUE