Sieggy wrote:Sadly, though, one of the defining characteristics of assholiness is that they are provoked by just about anything . . . which is why the stock phrases of assholes in general includes "Hey, I was just . . .", immediately followed by "Well, HE started it!".
So, non-assholes never use those phrases?
"Hey, I was just..."
No one can predict which of their posts will result in someone else taking issue. There are simply too many personalities and hot buttons out there to get hung up when someone takes issue with a post.
"Well, HE started it!"
Do you know what my definition of Arrogance is? "Arrogance is a word that you use to characterize someone that you want to victimize." And no, I'm not limiting that to the Internet. The problem with deciding someone is arrogant and therefore deserving of anything that happens to him, is that it gives permission to others to use abusive behavior that otherwise would be considered unacceptable. You turn your brain off and watch silently glorying in the arrogant person's suffering, not realizing that you're the one perpetrating abuse.
I don't accept that prior behavior justifies third party abuse. That I may have been a bad boy in other threads does not justify attacking me in this thread by someone that did not participate and was not involved in previous threads. That kind of logic results in permanent and eternal abuse, and is simply another rationalization. Beware applying it in real life... and I have seen it and had to deal with it.
Girl had a severe anger management problem, and kept bringing her retail job problems to our weekly gaming session... and transferring her anger to me. One week, I sat on the wall reading, not talking to anyone. Within 15 minutes, she was yelling at me, even while I continued to hold my book and speak to no one. Her future husband, when learning of the issue, rationalized it by "You must have said something the previous week." With that kind of thinking, he would permit her to use me as a punching bag any time she wanted, because there would always be something last week, or the week before, or... Anyway, I found a creative way to get it to stop without resorting to anger. (I used a similar position next gaming session to react like a wounded puppy and leave the session. She never conceived that I could act like a victim, and had to stop or realize she was the abuser... which she did for two years.)
So be careful when you shut off your brain and assume one person is always responsible. You create a victim that way, by rationalizing the abuse as "deserved."
MarbitChow wrote:Provoking them anonymously over the internet? Why wouldn't it be a good idea?
There's nothing they can do in return other than shake their hands in impotent rage and vent in long-winded rants that no one bothers to read, and there's always that slim chance that they'll pop a blood vessel in anger.
I post in amusement, MarbitChow, not anger, which is how I stay out of Flame Wars. I've seen it all, and faced far more vile people than you'll find here. The mental gymnastics some people use to rationalize prejudice or even criminal behavior is fascinating. This place is, ultimately, just practice for the Real Deal where winning matters.