Inner Peace (Through Superior Firepower) – Episode 032

[BanzaiJoe]

Brangelina is Brad (Pitt) and Angelina (Jolie)
Bennifer is/was Ben (Affleck) and Jennifer (Lopez)
Bananastan .... wtf?!

I swear Rob just made it up to see how google analytics would track the creation of a new word e.g. "malamanteau"

Anyone have thing on "Bananastan"?

[Saladman]

Its a banana republic.

[yay]

I swear Rob just made it up to see how google analytics would track the creation of a new word e.g. "malamanteau"

Anyone have thing on "Bananastan"?

I registered just to tell you to watch Arrested Development (source of the reference), thats how funny the show is.

[Balerion]

I am surprised FAQ has that much cash on hand, that they could go for 20 turns without any income. Given how expensive casters are supposed to be to maintain, that is quite a feat.

[Sixty]

Or being sarcastic.

Presumably royal sides at least can abdicate by a clever system of spinning off a new side, selling the new side the remainder of their units, and then being captured by the new side.
That's assuming that an Heir even COULD form a new side while their current side still lives, we still don't know if that's the case.

We know that sides can spin off new sides such as Ossomer threatened to do to Haggar if they didn't join the new coalition. That he would take them over and form his own Jet Stone spin off.

[Swodaems]

I am surprised FAQ has that much cash on hand, that they could go for 20 turns without any income. Given how expensive casters are supposed to be to maintain, that is quite a feat.

What's more interesting is that she did her mental calculations with the commanders' purses being the primary way of storing money. (Purses have a Word of the Titans defined size as 1000 per commander level.) Since Erfworld has a level system that keeps levels particularly low, we can be rather damn sure we aren't looking at 1000+ upkeep units given how few warlords Faq has. (This has been a sticking point in quite a few debates.)

You have to enjoy the fact that the first possible way for somebody to discover FAQ that Jillian said was somebody swimming in the lake instead of enemy scouts eventually coming across two of Faq's cities in the same day. (Jack can only do one per turn according to book 1. And before anyone asks, I checked the rest of story to ensure that they were mentioned as belonging to Faq at the current time.) Apparently she thinks that Jack can't make a lake look unappetizing to swim in.

[Balerion]

What's more interesting is that she did her mental calculations with the commanders' purses being the primary way of storing money. (Purses have a Word of the Titans defined size as 1000 per commander level.) Since Erfworld has a level system that keeps levels particularly low, we can be rather damn sure we aren't looking at 1000+ upkeep units given how few warlords Faq has. (This has been a sticking point in quite a few debates.)

It's commanders, not just warlords. So each of their 8 casters could also carry a purse. I think that gets us at something like 12k able to be carried if everyone was level 1. Even so, being able to last 20 turns without any city income is rather incredible, just in terms of the size of their current treasury. I am just comparing it to the modern sides, where every other one seems to be on the verge of bankruptcy.

You have to enjoy the fact that the first possible way for somebody to discover FAQ that Jillian said was somebody swimming in the lake instead of enemy scouts eventually coming across two of Faq's cities in the same day. (Jack can only do one per turn according to book 1. And before anyone asks, I checked the rest of story to ensure that they were mentioned as belonging to Faq at the current time.) Apparently she thinks that Jack can't make a lake look unappetizing to swim in.

I assume that was her making a joke . Because yeah, two cities getting seen in the same turn starts to get really likely as they get enveloped.

[drachefly]

Just one thing:
dear Rob, please, don't make the next text update about some completely unrelated thing without really revealing Marie's plan. That would be rightout vile.

I'm afraid it will be, since there's a pretty strong tendency (a plan?) to have an alternation between timelines. Unless you mean next update in this timeline.

Yeah, that would be pretty lousy. But I don't recall Rob holding back already-baked plans, so there's no specific precedent. In the Donut-o-doom arc, they were working on the plan, then they were executing it. There wasn't a 'big reveal-NOT' moment.

Similarly, later, the tunnel fight and manning the walls... well, he didn't come out and say it, but it was pretty obvious given what he did say.

Apparently she thinks that Jack can't make a lake look unappetizing to swim in.

Or it didn't occur to her at that moment. I challenge you to think of everything at conversational speed.

[woort]

This doesn't make much sense. Why does Erfworld have any "pushover sides"? Especially one with lots of money, since apparently every side is always running out of money. Faq can just barely survive, despite being isolated in the mountains, having a master class foolamancer/lookamancer/predictamancer, and a fairly strong military. It doesn't make any sense at all to have small sides just sitting around in plain view with plenty of money and no defenses.

[querzis]

This doesn't make much sense. Why does Erfworld have any "pushover sides"? Especially one with lots of money, since apparently every side is always running out of money. Faq can just barely survive, despite being isolated in the mountains, having a master class foolamancer/lookamancer/predictamancer, and a fairly strong military. It doesn't make any sense at all to have small sides just sitting around in plain view with plenty of money and no defenses.

...It has 'plenty of money' because it has no defense. They havent been popping any troops except for the mercenaries which actually bring back plenty of money. And they arent sitting around in plain view, their casters combo+the mountain range were very effective until now. Finally, I woudnt say they got plenty of money has much as they got enough money for their very small numbers to last quite a while.

[woort]

This doesn't make much sense. Why does Erfworld have any "pushover sides"? Especially one with lots of money, since apparently every side is always running out of money. Faq can just barely survive, despite being isolated in the mountains, having a master class foolamancer/lookamancer/predictamancer, and a fairly strong military. It doesn't make any sense at all to have small sides just sitting around in plain view with plenty of money and no defenses.

...It has 'plenty of money' because it has no defense. They havent been popping any troops except for the mercenaries which actually bring back plenty of money. And they arent sitting around in plain view, their casters combo+the mountain range were very effective until now. Finally, I woudnt say they got plenty of money has much as they got enough money for their very small numbers to last quite a while.

I was talking about the "pushover sides" like bananastan and bennifer, not Faq.

[querzis]

This doesn't make much sense. Why does Erfworld have any "pushover sides"? Especially one with lots of money, since apparently every side is always running out of money. Faq can just barely survive, despite being isolated in the mountains, having a master class foolamancer/lookamancer/predictamancer, and a fairly strong military. It doesn't make any sense at all to have small sides just sitting around in plain view with plenty of money and no defenses.

...It has 'plenty of money' because it has no defense. They havent been popping any troops except for the mercenaries which actually bring back plenty of money. And they arent sitting around in plain view, their casters combo+the mountain range were very effective until now. Finally, I woudnt say they got plenty of money has much as they got enough money for their very small numbers to last quite a while.

I was talking about the "pushover sides" like bananastan and bennifer, not Faq.

The two first side they mentioned were «pretty shaky» so I'd assume that they lost many conflicts recently more then anything else. But I find a side that go for no military or defense and just go for as much money as they can could easely work pretty well, when you conquer a kingdom, you only get its treasury, the facilities are destroyed so a side that constantly produce lots of money and pay off its neighbors not to attack them could easely last longer then a warlike side. After all, its neighbors have no reason to attack it since they gain a lot more money in the long run from having it as its neighbors then by conquering it. A side like that would have to worry about Barbarians (like Jillian) and pretty much nothing else.

[BanzaiJoe]

I swear Rob just made it up to see how google analytics would track the creation of a new word e.g. "malamanteau"

Anyone have thing on "Bananastan"?

I registered just to tell you to watch Arrested Development (source of the reference), thats how funny the show is.

Ohhhhhh... the money is IN the banana stand. I sure hope they don't raze or set Bananastan on fire. Got it, thanks.

[ftl]

With the mercenary work, and the large number of casters, and the secrecy, FAQ might have pretty reasonable scouting.

It's not inconceivable that the "pushover sides" are ones that either:
1) Have just lost a war, sued for peace, and are now nursing their wounds without much of an army left
2) Have just WON a costly war, leaving them with a peace settlement but no army left because it got croaked in the war
3) Sides whose armies are ill-suited to fighting FAQ's all-air forces; maybe it's a side who thinks all their nearest neighbors have few air units (because they don't know about FAQ)
4) Sides whose armies may be deployed at the wrong border to fight FAQ, since they think FAQ doesn't exist, allowing FAQ to do a decapitation strike straight against the capital and ruler.

Also, remember that "easy pickings" might be relative to the forces that Jillian is willing to front for this. She's literally thinking about leaving zero defense, putting all their money and units into one strike. I bet lots of sides would seem like "easy pickings" if you're willing to give up your capital in exchange!

There may be other ways. But still, just because it's a cutthroat world, doesn't mean that there aren't sides that are weak enough at the moment.

BTW, I got so many jokes on my reread. I'm liking Book 0 more than Book 2, honestly.

[vintermann]

I bet that plan is gonna go all wrong; they will, after all, survive Haffaton. Marie thinks she's planning for Haffaton to take over FAQ, when she's actually planning for Stanley far in the future.

I'm all the more sure that Haffaton was the 1.0 version of the Hippiemancer/Predictamancer conspiracy. They're trying to bring something great about (probably not the same thing), and whatever it is, Marie has convinced Banhammer that it's worth dying for. She has the advantage that she can say "Oh, but you're fated to anyway". But Jillian + antifatalist Wanda (she may still be that) are going to topple their plan by destroying Haffaton.

For the next incarnation of the plan, they tried to neutralize Wanda as a wild card instrument of fate by giving the perfect warlord spell to her.

[Lamech]

Also, remember that "easy pickings" might be relative to the forces that Jillian is willing to front for this. She's literally thinking about leaving zero defense, putting all their money and units into one strike. I bet lots of sides would seem like "easy pickings" if you're willing to give up your capital in exchange!

Also when you can bring 8 casters to bear on a target.

[0beron]

Also when you can bring 8 casters to bear on a target.

Yeaaaaaah, cus a Lookamancer, Moneymancer, and Signamancer will be so useful in combat....LOL

[Kreistor]

Shaky sides can also come from recently captured Barbarian cities, since Warlords can rarely pop in the wild (Word of the Titans). Ones not having a Capital Site for instance, just a Level 1-3 city site.

[0beron]

Shaky sides can also come from recently captured Barbarian cities, since Warlords can rarely pop in the wild (Word of the Titans). Ones not having a Capital Site for instance, just a Level 1-3 city site.

Yes Barbarians caaaan pop in the wild, but we don't know if they can just start a side by claiming any city. Everything points to a Capital Site being REQUIRED for a side to exist.

[depricated]

Been a while since I've been in. Had to pop in to say...

Bananastan made my day. I had a shitty weekend, crap morning, but that put me in a good mood.