Charlie

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[edit] Proposed Canon

"May I call you... "mind slave?""

Strengths: Getting Paid, Shrewd Dealing, Knowing Things

Weaknesses: Bad Reputation, Underestimating Opponents, Acting Like A Bastard

First Appearance: TBFGK 89

Charlie is the Ruler of Charlescomm, a Side in Erfworld. Charlie is not Royal, so he is an Overlord. The following is known from the decrypted Archons: Charlescomm is the only city possessed by Charlies side and is level 5; Charlie pops only Archons, of which he had just over 600 at the time of TBfGK; the only other units who are on his side are golems, of which there were about 700 at the time of TBfGK; though he doesn't pop them, Charlie often hires casters from the Magic Kingdom for specific jobs.

Charlie is attuned to a powerful artifact - the Arkendish, one of four known Arkentools.

Charlie has made a magical deal with Parson and has the ability to force Parson to make twelve mathamancy calculations on Parson's Mathamancy Bracer. So far, Charlie has spent some of these on:

• Two calculations on the strength of Gobwin Knob vs. hypothetical Archon attacks. These calculations were requested immediately after the deal was made.^Erf-b1-p103
• One calculation on the odds of Gobwin Knob still standing after at the end of the current turn.^Erf-b1-p105
• One calculation on the odds that forfeiting the eight remaining calculations would be a fair exchange for learning why the Archon units lost at Gobwin Knob now fight for Stanley. The calculation (a 4.14% chance of the exchange being worth it) led Charlie to refuse the deal. This calculation backfired: it taught Parson how to use his bracer to perform specific calculations on future events.^{summer-updates-039}

[edit] Charlie's Rules

The Archons in Charlie's employ have to follow a set of rules. They are somewhat reminiscent of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition though, given Rule #3, not quite as extreme. The comparison is loose, at best, and there has been no in comic comparison by Parson yet. The following rules are known:

• Charlie's Rule #3: We are in the business of solving problems for our clients. Corollary: Creating problems for our clients creates business.
• Charlie's Rule #15: Some things are more important than money. COROLLARY: Most things are not more important than money.
• Charlie's Rule #19: Charlie's rules need to be bent sometimes. (Presumed Corollary: Most of the time Charlie's rules do not need to be bent.)

[edit] Relationships

[edit] The Magic Kingdom

Charlie maintains an excellent reputation as an employer in The Magic Kingdom.

[edit] Wanda

Wanda may be the single greatest threat to Charlie's survival, because Wanda is trying to start an ideological war. As long as War is simply a matter of different sides competing for economic resources, then most Royals will not hesitate to hire a non-royal Mercenary like Charlie, if it seems profitable to do so. But by spreading the idea that there is an inherent ideological conflict between Royals and Units attuned to the Arkentools, Wanda is damaging Charlie's ability to persuade royals to hire him.

Charlie's primary objective at the Battle of Jetstone was to have Wanda croaked, in order to discredit Toolism. But Jillian's revelation that Wanda does not hate Charlie and would probably even be willing ot work for him could dramatically change Charlie's relationship with Wanda.

[edit] Parson Gotti

The two seem to like each other, despite being adversarial. It is likely that the two enjoy having an intellectual equal. On Parson's side, Charlie is independent and one of the only characters who always seems to understand what Parson is saying, whether real world references or leetspeak is used. On Charlie's side, although Parson holds duty to Gobwin Knob, he is not bogged down by any of the prejudices Erfworlders generally have and has an out of the box method of thinking that Charlie can appreciate.

That said, however, considering the potential damage that Parson could do to him, having an intellectual equal is probably a "pleasure" which Charlie would forgo if he could. Charlie has informed Jillian that he's very concerned that his secrets have been compromised. The most damaging of the secrets about Charlie which Parson has learned so far would probably include:

1: One of Charlie's Rules instructs his Archons to make trouble for their own clients, in order to create new employment opportunities.

2: Charlie has no Warlords or Casters.

3: Charlie never leaves the central tower of his city, which means potential assassins don't need to search the rest of the city to find him..

Charlie will certainly wonder how Parson could have survived the volcano. If he discovers that Parson entered the Magic Kingdom, he may suspect that Parson is a caster.

[edit] Queen Jillian

Charlie and Jillian both have histories of mercenary work. Jillian may have fought against Archons on occasion, and may have sometimes fought alongside them, if her clients ever hired both her and Charlie. Given their sides' extremely different approaches to mercenary work (Charlie is very well known and works hard to further his reputation; Faq had a history of being veiled and took steps to have no local reputation at all), it is unclear how often they competed for the same contracts or were hired by opposing clients. However, Jillian worked far afield when Faq was still standing (to protect the side's anonymity), and Charlie deals with sides both near and distant, so the two of them are probably the most "worldly" participants in the conflict with Gobwin Knob, at least among non-Casters.

Jillian never trusted Charlie, but did talk to him often enough to make taking his calls habitual.

As a former mercenary, Jillian probably understands Charlie's mercenary mindset better than any other Royal, which may be why she doesn't assume that Charlie and Stanley would become allies based on a common anti-Royal ideology. As a former Barbarian, she is also much more willing to take calculated risks than most other Royals, and so is willing to risk dealing with Charlie. She's confident enough to believe she has a good chance of benefiting from the association.

As long as Stanley and all of the other members of the Royal Crown Coalition II refuse to deal with him, Charlie needs Jillian badly. He's likely to be careful not to antagonize her, because he probably knows how easily provoked she was as a Barbarian. He knows she leads the newest and probably weakest member of the RCC II. If he wants her to be able to influence the decisions of the RCC II, he needs to help her build up the power and influence of Faq as quickly as possible. Fortunately, Jillian is willing to try Charlie's unconventional ideas, such as persuading the Western Giants to switch their loyalties from Jitterati to Faq. Charlie probably knows that Faq obtained much of its income from doing mercenary work, and may be concerned that it could eventually become a competitor once again, but given the magnitude of the crisis he faces, that possibility is likely to be of comparatively small importance.

Jillian's sudden decision to change their agreed upon plan at Jetstone and not attack Wanda placed some stress on Jillian's alliance with Charlie, but Jillian's revelation that Wanda does not hate Charlie and would probably be willing to work for him forced Charlie to reassess his previously held desire to have Wanda croaked. Charlie's alliance with Jillian may actually be strengthened if Charlie concludes that Jillian was right not to croak Wanda under these newly revealed circumstances.

[edit] Speculation

The Arkendish gives him unmatched abilities in Thinkamancy^Erf-b1-p088, but the extent of these abilities is not described. It may explain his ability to hack into the supposedly secure Eyebooks.^Erf-b1-p100 It may also explain his understanding of Parson's Real World leetspeak chat lingo in Eyebook messages, if its power extends to reading surface thoughts at long range, or through the Eyebook which already provides that function, though his largely unknown background from before his possession of the Arkendish might hold that explanation. If the Arkendish can intercept messages sent by other Thinkamancers, it would explain how he learned that Queen Jillian had rebuilt Faq.

Maggie and some other people in Erfworld consider Charlie enigmatic and bizarre.^Erf-b1-p088 Stanley the Plaid has, in Wanda's words, a "strong personal dislike for Charlie."^Erf-b1-p043

It is possible that Charlie is actually from Parson's World. This would also explain his understanding of Parson's references. It would also explain his "playing style": a power-player with cheat codes (the Arkendish) creating an unbalanced side (Charlescomm, with no farms or mines or regular troops) and a highly-specialized unbalanced unit-class (the Archons).

Charlie is not a loyal person as the term is normally used, and is content to play just about all Sides so that he ends up maximizing his Side's gain during a negotiation; however, to protect Charlescomm's reputation, he does not break alliances outright, nor will he abandon an Alliance that has ended a contract. He has been known to make his services prohibitively expensive, in order to avoid the appearance that he is contracting with the Side opposing a previous employer in a conflict. This is inconsistent with normal mercenary behavior, and may help explain the confusion other Erfworlders have concerning his reliability.

Charlie provides his employees with significant freedom in providing their services to clients. Employees are permitted to provide freebies or not, at their own discretion.

Charlie seems to be pretty good at remembering his underlings' names, as opposed to Stanley, at least when remembering his archons' names.

After the Battle of Gobwin Knob, most of the members of the Royal Crown Coalition believe he is working with Stanley and refuse to deal with him. However, he has managed to form a tentative alliance with Queen Jillian.

Parson suspects that Charlie is directly behind the gobwins being missing from Gobwin Knob. This might be a form of psychological subterfuge to undermine Parson's role in GK's affairs, as Charlie and Parson are intellectual adversaries, while Ansom, the current chief warlord is more of a nuisance. Given Stanley the Tool's responses, this seems the most likely explanation.

If there are any male Archons in Charlie's service, then one of them may be named Bosley.

[edit] Real World References

Charlie and Charlie's Archons are references to a television series Charlie's Angels featuring 3 young women working as private investigators for their boss, Charlie, whose face is never seen on screen. If this homage continues, we will never see Charlie's face, though we may catch sight of extremities or a silhouette.

His eyebook name is based on the title of the show Charles in Charge.

When Parson first contacts Charlie via Thinkamancy^Erf-b1-p088, the mental picture in Parson's head (red jumpsuit, black background) is a duplicate of the "telepathy" used in the television series Mork & Mindy, when Mork is conversing with his superior, Orson.