This is an attempt to figure out how old people are; it's a work in progress, please be patient.
- Parson Gotti – Born December 7, 1982 (25 years at the launch of the comic) Erf-b1-p037a
With 6 leap years, and a day being equal to a turn, Parson would be (365 * 25) + 6 or 9131 turns at the start of The Battle for Gobwin Knob.
- Artemis – 1854 as of Love Is a Battlefield Erf-b2-pT50
- King Slately – Roughly 3000 turns, as of Love Is a Battlefield Erf-b2-pT33
- Don King – At least 415 turns, as of Love Is a Battlefield Erf-b2-pT5
Don was popped, became King at 15 turns, took a tour of Transylvito of unknown duration, and hasn't left the capital in over 400 turns.
- Jillian Zamussels – Over 200 turns by the inception of WRECD inner-peace-through-superior-firepower-–-episode-027
- Vinny Doombats – Over 200 turns before he first visited Transylvito for the first time Erf-b1.5-p17 ... unclear how many turns since then.
- Mary Sagittari – About 1700 turns, as of Love Is a Battlefield Erf-b2-pT55
- Prince Tramennis – Over 1700 turns, as of Love Is a Battlefield Erf-b2-pT55.
He was there to approve the proposed popping of Mary, after all.
- Ansom – At least 476 turns, as of Love Is a Battlefield Erf-b2-pT50.
Being only Level 2 at the time, he can't be much older
- Wanda Firebaugh
- Popped after: Atomic Firebaugh, Delphi Temple, Clay Dice, Olive Branch, Jack Snipe, Marie
- Popped before: Jillian ZamusselsIPTSF Text 34
- Ace Hardware
- Popped after: Holly Shortcake Erf-b2-pT30
- Popped before:
- Prince Tramennis
- Sizemore Rockwell
- Popped after: King Saline IVErf-b1-p78
- Popped before:
- Jillian Zamussels
- Popped after: Wanda Firebaugh, Jack Snipe, Marie
- Popped before: Bart LightrailIPTSF Text 29
Jetstone Royal Family
This is based on the assumption that the names in LIAB Text 33 are in chronological order. The only definite numbers are 1, 2, 3 and 16 out of 23.
I'm assuming Ansom is older than Ossomer, since Ansom handed the 'pliers to him in LIAB Text 29
- 1. Victor
- 2. ???
- 3. Lustrius
- 16. Tramennis