Descriptive Table of Contents

From ErfWiki

Contents 1 Day 1 2 Day 2 3 Day 3 4 Day 4 5 Day 5 6 Day 6 7 Day 7

Day 1

1. Giant Elvii create the world; Marbits buy extra troops
2. Manpower the Temporary bites it, tastes key lime pie; Wanda introduced, her bad day gets worse
3. Wanda returns to Gobwin Knob via dwagon
4. Bogroll, Stanley introduced; former demonstrates lack of guile; latter busts a nut
5. Wanda & Stanley talk strategy; Wanda brings up summoning spell
6. Stanley orders Wanda to buy spell & cast it herself; Bogroll lives up to his name
7. Jillian, Ansom introduced; Ansom makes pass at Jillian
8. Night falls; Ansom discusses scouting with/continues to make passes at Jillian; Jillian bivouacs in the open field

Day 2

9. Jillian goes scouting; "ORLY?"
10. Jillian hits a target of opportunity; Webinar, Dora introduced, sent after Jillian
11. Sizemore introduced, found flaking with hippiemancers, scolded by Wanda
12. Jillian captured by dwagons; "OMGWTFBBQ!"
13. Wanda & Sizemore beam back to Gobwin Knob; Sizemore makes crap golems
14. Parson introduced; works at Kinko's; checks Hamstard's hitcount
15. Parson eats gwiffon for breakfast, gives grandiose game intro
16. Ashna questions Parson's health; PLOT happens
17. Stanley & Wanda go Tron; Stanley continues to make unreasonable demands; Parson arrives in Erfworld
18. Parson gets a headache, swears a lot
19. Stanley & Parson debate Wanda's assertion that he is alive; Parson stands up
20. Stanley declares himself a tool
21. Arkenpliers first seen; Ansom addresses his war council; Elf subraces revealed to be plentiful
22. Elven parade continues; Vinny introduced; Arkenpliers formally revealed; Ansom demonstrates overconfidence
23. Parson compelled to laugh at Stanley's bad jokes; Parson recognizes Gobwin Knob
24. Parson declared Lord Hamster; Wanda excused to pursue her hobbies
25. Webinar engages spidews, loses cloth golem
26. Parson & Stanley discuss dwagons & stupid names
27. Wanda changes clothes; Parson introduced to uncroaked warlords; Manpower craves pie
28. Mung introduced; Wanda reveals white leather fetish; Mung stands at attention
29. Stanley unknowingly imitates Vizzini; Bogroll reports as lackey retainer to Parson
30. Jillian asks for the very easy way, gets the very hard way
31. Parson insinuates that Stanley is evil; Stanley reacts poorly
32. Stanley orders Parson not to speak, reveals expectation of Arkenpliers
33. Stanley gives Parson an eyebook; Parson contacted by Sizemore
34. Ansom & Vinny discuss Stanley's rise to power; Webinar finds Jillian's items; Ansom calls Charlie
35. Parson learns about magic from Sizemore
36. Sizemore takes Parson's crap; Wanda finishes interrogating Jillian, shifts to girl-talk

Day 3

• Stupid meal toy: "3D" Goggles ("See unit stats!")

37. Bogroll presents Parson with his armor
38. Parson's Klog, birthdate 12/7/1982: Parson shares feelings on Erfworld; Hamstard invents the lipid golem.
39. Jillian blushes, breaks down; Wanda hypnotizes Mung
40. Parson's Klog: Magic theory
41. Parson's Klog: Strategery!
42. Parson gets a Stupid Meal; Arkentools numbered at four
43. Parson & Stanley continue verbal sparring; Wanda manipulates them both
44. Parson's Klog: Parson laments difficulty learning about combat; some system tidbits revealed; Bogroll's stats revealed
45. Wanda releases Jillian; plan to lure Ansom out revealed; Wanda gets creepiness on
46. Charlie's Archons introduced, ally with Jetstone; Vinny persuades Ansom not to personally rescue Jillian
47. Parson & Wanda react to the failed plan; Wanda advises Parson on dealing with His Toolship; Wanda confused by childhood
48. Parson's Klog: More combat system lamentations & tidbits on unit construction
49. Night passes with a Shakespearean sonnet; Parson gets an idea
50. Misty (the lookamancer) introduced; Parson tries to order nighttime troop movements; Misty protests
51. Parson's plan is shot down; Misty's name revealed, tries to help
52. Parson's Klog: Critical combat info, and a plan of action
53. Wanda chews Parson out for messing with the eyemancers, resigns herself to placating Stanley; Parson's plan made sweeter by Ansom's lack of intel

Day 4

• Stupid meal toy: Mathamancy bracer ("Calculate odds!")

54. Wanda helps Stanley "relax"; Dwagons begin the attack
55. Bat*21 swallowed; Parson has fun as a dispatcher; "Leeeeeeroy..."
56. Jillian reunites with gwiffons, prepares to leave; dwagons wreak havok on battle bears and tower
57. Jillian argues with Webinar over leaving; Webinar appeals to Ansom via Charlie's Archons' Thinkagram
58. Ansom celebrates "victories"... outlook reversed by unit reports
59. Parson interrupts Sizemore's dirtamancy, discusses Misty situation over EyeM
60. Parson & Sizemore discuss mathamancy, Parson's wristwatch, & the eyemancers
61. Parson explains his combat moves to Stanley
62. Ansom & Vinny plan their response
63. Ansom shows he has an Evel side; stack one buys the farm
64. Ansom decides to go all in... literally
65. Ansom & company defeat the three dwagons; center hex revealed to contain trees, and little else
66. Parson reveals the full scope of his plan; Stanley takes the credit
67. Ansom and Vinny discuss implications of an empty center hex, charge anyway; Wanda mentions "veiling" of units, shocks Parson
68. Vinny presents two options: The Flight (through a ring of dwagon breath) and The Stand; Ansom chooses third: The Hunt
69. Jillian ditches Webinar & Dora, departs to search for dwagons; called "mean" by an Archon; agrees
70. Parson & Sizemore worry about Wanda's control of Jillian; Wanda gets defensive; Stanley pours over map; Jillian advances to hex adjacent to wounded dwagons
71. Jillian rationalizes abandoning hunt to self, Archons as saving Ansom from own ideal, locates wounded dwagons anyway; one archon named (Jaclyn)
72. Parson et al. continue to argue about Wanda's spell upon Jillian; Jillian begins to rationalize not attacking.
73. Jaclyn elaborates on Wanda's spell over Jillian, against other archons' wishes; Jillian admits to liking being part of Wanda's machinations; Jaclyn suggests Jillian phones a friend
74. Ansom & Vinny discuss the possibility that Jillian has betrayed them; Jillian sends Ansom a scathing thinkagram, but promises to croak some dwagons
75. Jillian begins the assault; archons blast/vaporize/slice 'n' dice one dwagon each, pose for camera
76. Jillian jumps onto Leeroy's dwagon, headshots Leeroy; Parson orders remaining units to croak Jillian
77. Wanda opposes croaking Jillian; Stanley supports it; Manpower's kill (and uncroakness) yoinked by Ansom's Arkenpliers; Ansom & Jillian share a smile; Vinny croaks a dwagon with a kick
78. Stanley blows a microchip, orders Parson, Sizemore, and Wanda out of his sight; Wanda blows a microchip, becomes catatonic; Stanley orders all field units back to Gobwin Knob, eyemancers to unlink
79. Ansom & Vinny contemplate the day's victories & the next day's hardships; Vinny gets his Fonzie on with battle-damaged Archons; Jillian bivouacs with Ansom on his carpet
80. Parson and Sizemore discuss their various possible fates, discover that Bogroll took Parson's order to pretend to be him a bit too seriously

Day 5

• Stupid meal toy: Sword hilt ("Leadership!")

81. Stanley attempts to restore one of the eyemancers to sanity, orders Mung to assemble the knights at dawn ("in full paint"); Sizemore attempts to disuade Bogroll from waking Parson, waking Parson in the process
82. Parson berrates Sizemore, relates intent to confront Stanley; Knights In Stanley's Service (KISS) assemble in courtyard
83. Stanley departs Gobwin Knob with the foolamancer, three knights, and remaining dwagons; Parson finds Misty, apparently croaked
84. Parson's Klog: Stupid unit roster; Misty confirmed croaked
85. Parson's Klog: Parson ponders the reality, unreality, cuteness, and tragicness Erfworld
86. Parson inspects the tunnels, reflects on puns, possibility of being hospitalized in "real world"
87. Parson attempts to wake self, fails; Sizemore recounts Stanley's rise to power
88. Parson's Klog: Sizemore making the tunnels more defensible; alliances, royals, and divine mandate
89. Ansom & Vinny review Jillian's claim to know Stanley's actions
90. "Veiled" dwagons appear as blimps; Jillian prepares to releate her backstory
91. Jillian Zamussels mutually hated her liege, King Banhammer of Faq; Jillian identifies salad fork and eyeball fork as one and the same
92. Jillian confirms Wanda worked for Faq; Ansom fails to see past Jillian's lineage
93. Maggie (the thinkamancer) introduced; Parson debriefs her, learns that Wanda's condition & Misty's death resulted from thinkamancy spell-failure backlash
94. Parson's Klog: Dirtamancers boost golems, croakamancers boost undead; natual thinkamancy inhibits free will?
95. Bedtime; Bogroll's greatest ambition: to save Parson's life

Day 6

• ErfWorld toy: Sword ricasso ("Combat!")

1. Veiled dwagons de-spoof; Parson recieves a sword ricasso with breakfast; "Subway" wrapper lists Royal Crown Coalition makeup
2. Sizemore hits scouting Marbit stack with "excessive force" (four hard-rock golems)
3. Arkendish named, located with Charlie; Parson & Maggie contact Charlie; Parson references All Your Base, Mork & Mindy
4. Parson offers Charlie his wristwatch/mathamancy bracer; dwagons re-veil as parade baloons
5. Ansom & advisors discuss implications of rock golems' attack on scouts; Jillian & Vinny dress as greasers, anticipating dance fighting; Charlie rejects Parson's offer, assures him that he will survive the battle; Parson plans one more thinkagram
6. Parson "calls" Ansom, denounces royalty as obsolete; Ansom makes a scene in front of alliance leadership; "superior" Stanley strangles foolamancer in outrage
7. Parson bluffs about allying with alliance members, spoofs Dr. Evil; Stanley interrupts Parson's call, asking how to fix foolamancer; foolamancer's name forgotten by Stanley, unknown by Maggie
8. Ansom & Vinny exchange angry stares over Ansom's fit; Ansom gives Jillian & Vinny their orders, to break their alliance in order to change the turn order; Jillian quotes Grease
9. Jillian's flight approaches the tower of Efdup unchallenged; Jillian confronts a (somewhat) recovered Wanda; orly: O HAI
10. Jillian prompts Wanda to defect, plans to slay Stanley when Wanda refuses; Jaclyn warns that Wanda is free of loyalty spells; Wanda casts several cheat codes and AGGROs
11. Jaclyn's, Pegataurs' flesh burned from their bones (apparently their failed their saving throws)
12. Ansom charges Webinar with command of Jetstone & Marbit forces (and only Jetstone & Marbit forces) in the tunnels
13. Parson explains that unlike Stanley, he still values Wanda after her failure; Wanda, speech-impaired, begins raising fallen Archons
14. Parson's Klog: Parson explains Gobwin Knob's defensive zones, speculates upon Ansom's plan, implies that he has a plan of his own
15. Parson's Klog: Parson believes Wanda's loyalties still lie with Gobwin Knob; cities without a leader freeze in time unless/until attacked; Parson resoves to play the fight out rather than surrender
16. Vinny explains the plan to his boss, the Don; we see a preview of the battle to come, with dance fighting
17. Parsons plan relies on Ansom waiting until his forces are assembled (a fairly safe bet, knowing Ansom); Charlie hacks Parson's eyebook, proposes a business deal; Coalition forces surround the walls
18. Ansom's allies dissent over Ansom's inaction; Ansom justifies himself; Parson experiments with what he can say without being censored
19. Parson plans to order the casters to the Magic Kingdom should the battle go south; Sizemore worries not for his own life but for the lives of those he is ordered to kill, hates Parson for it
20. Parson asks Wanda not to leave to help Stanley, reveals his bargain with Charlie to abandon Vinny in exchange for 12 calculations - the first two of which concerned a (hypothetical?) attack on GK by Charlie; Parson feels played, is glad that Wanda doesn't laugh

Day 7

• Luckamancy Charms toy: Sword blade ("Ruthlessness!")

116. Caesar Borgata and company join with Jillian's stack, relieve her; Maggie casts "Ephedra" on Parson to clear his mind; Charlie's Archons arrive at GK, taking the first turn of the day; Charlie asks Parson up to the parapet
117. Parson rebuffs Charlie, giving his chances of not losing the city within one turn at 58.9%; Charlie leaves his archons in place, "to assist if necessary"
118. Parson recieves the rest of his sword in his breakfast Luckamancy Charms; sword's functions explained: leadership, combat, & ruthlessness
119. Caesar was sent to compensate for lack of archons; Faq used Jack, the foolamancer, to stay hidden from Transylvito and others; Parson learned Jack's name from Wanda, orders Sizemore to begin liquid and gas traps, Maggie to contact Jack
120. Parson contacts the foolamancer, one Jack Snipe; in the tunnels, golems mix an unknown powder ("REDUX"), set off a flaming liquid trap ("FITH") near Webinar's regiment
121. Parson's efforts to snap Jack back to reality are apparently in vain; Parson sends gobwins into tunnels, to attack infantry and corral heavies & warlords
122. Stanley tries to appeal to Jack's sense of self-preservation to cast a real veil, while flying into the Doombats' trap; decides to punch through
123. Webinar finds Sizemore; Parson sends in the remaining knights, riding spidews; Doombats sing West Side Story; Stanley air-guitars with Arkenhammer, sings KISS
124. Webinar and Dora confront Sizemore; Sizemore heals a golem, which PKs Dora and Webinar; Sizemore laments, reports the rout; Parson discoveres a new uncensored word: "Hosed, hosed, hosed!"
125. Vinny breaks down the odds - unled bats are weak, but with Caesar, the chief warlord for Transylvito, in the hex, they are more formidable; Stanley Van de Graffs Caesar; Jillian recognizes Jack, and Jack, Jillian
126. Jillian and gwiffons engage Stanley, croaking his mount; Jillian implores Jack to turn; Stanley flies himself and Jack up with Arkenhammer while Jack, restored to sanity, casts a veil
127. Jillian and co search for Stanley, discover that croaked dwagon is a fake; Stanley and Jack, still mounted, escape hex
128. Unable to read the Titans' will, Stanely takes Jack's suggestion to return to Gobwin Knob; uncroaked units' strength depends on the effort spent creating them; many units can be uncroaked together, but they'll be weak; Wanda uncroaks 1000+ Jetstone infantry
129. Parson's Klog: Parson explains the layout of the garrison, meditates on having caused the deaths of so many enemy troops, the effect of that on Sizemore, and his responsibility to his own men
130. The coalition is demoralized by Parson's new reinforcements, but Ansom pulls them back together, gets reckless with his statuesque keister to punch a hole through the uncroaked on the wall
131. Ansom fights uncroaked alone; siege units attack walls; Archons watch
132. Parson tries to out-guess Charlie, sends Wanda with uncroaked fliers to attack Ansom; Wanda stutters through battle song
133. Wanda locks Ansom's Arkenpliers, Webinar knocks them from his grasp, and him from his carpet; Ansom enters contract negotiations with an Archon
134. Ansom accepts Charlie's outrageous terms; Archons destroy all fliers in hex; Wanda is shielded (though her mount is not)
135. Wanda hovers on death's door as Ansom dives, retrieves pliers, monologues; Wanda dares him to touch her with them; Ansom declines; Sizemore and golems arrive from below to safeguard Wanda; Ansom returns to fight at wall
136. Sizemore takes Wanda to the dungeon to heal her; Parson outlines his latest tactic to Maggie; Parson relocates command to dungeon to personally inspect Wanda's "private stash" - and prepare for battle