Sizemore Rockwell

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That's not just the best anwesr. It's the bestest answer!
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[[File:Sizemore.png|center]]
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{{Stats
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|name= Sizemore Rockwell
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|race= [[Men]]
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|tribe= [[Plaid Tribe]] (nearly lost)
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|faction= [[Gobwin Knob]]
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|class= [[Caster]] ([[Dirtamancer]])
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|level= 4+
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|move=
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|hits=
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|combat=
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|defense=
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|special=
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|eyebook= ImInUrDirtz
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|booksound= Choo
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}}
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}}
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==Proposed Canon==
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''"Nobody knows what's going on in this world. I guess... a few of us would like to."''
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'''Strengths:''' Knowledge, Curiosity, Kindness
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'''Weaknesses:''' Assertiveness, Confidence, Effectiveness
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'''First Appearance:''' [[TBFGK 11]]
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Sizemore is (or was) apparently a "filthy rich rock star" in the [[Magic Kingdom]]; an interesting counterpoint to his lowly status under [[Stanley the Tool]].
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==Plot==
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Sizemore Rockwell is a [[Dirtamancer]] in the service of [[Stanley the Tool|Lord Stanley]]. He was outside of [[Gobwin Knob]] when [[King Saline IV]] was overthrown, so he is not a [[Garrison]] unit, but had little if any combat experience before the Battle of Gobwin Knob. His main duty as the story opens is to animate [[Crap Golems|crap golems]].
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Since he seems quite competent as a Dirtamancer, it's possible he may have [[level]]ed before, as a result of using his [[Unit#Natural_Abilities|special abilities]] as a [[caster]] in non-combat situations.  Earlier, he bored a large number of mining tunnels in the volcanic base of Gobwin Knob, until he believed that the gems had been mined out. He had also, at some point, crafted multiple [[Soft Rock Golem]]s, [[Hard Rock Golem]]s, [[Acid Rock Golem]]s, and one [[Metal Golem]], and done a wide variety of construction jobs in the [[Magic Kingdom]].
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His personality, in Gobwin Knob, was that of a meek intellectual, though he may have been much more confident and assertive when dealing with his fellow Casters in the Magic Kingdom. He has attempted to learn various types of magic, and has a basic theoretical understanding of magic in general, but has no practical ability at using any magics other than Dirtamancy. He enjoys visiting the Magic Kingdom, and listening to the intellectual debates which occur there.
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Soon after [[Parson]] is summoned, Sizemore teaches him some of the basics of the Erfworld [[magic|magic system]], and teaches him about several magic items, and about the [[Thinkamancy]] [[link]]. After Stanley leaves Gobwin Knob, Parson leaves him to modify the tunnels under Gobwin Knob along with his golems.
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During the tunnel battle in Gobwin Knob, Sizemore led the Gobwins and his Golems into battle, using traps and bombs to diminish the [[Jetstone]] forces swarming the tunnels. Eventually, he was cornered by [[Warlords]] [[Webinar]] and [[Dora]]. He killed both Warlords by healing an incapacitated Golem, which crushed them both. After killing the enemy commanders of the battle, Sizemore eliminated the remaining [[leadership]] and routed the tunnel invaders completely.
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After the walls were pierced by the remaining [[RCC]], Sizemore was linked with [[Maggie]] and [[Wanda Firebaugh]] to [[uncroak]] the volcano that Gobwin Knob was built on. Upon successful eruption of the volcano, all of the Royal Crown Coalition was destroyed, and Sizemore managed to also use the eruption to blast valuable gems to the surface of the mountain for recovery. He claims to have learned more about the [[Terrain Type|Terrain]] around Gobwin Knob in the few minutes he was linked than he had learned in his entire lifetime. According to [[Hippiemancer]] [[Janis]], Sizemore advanced two levels during the course of the [[Battle of Gobwin Knob]].
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Upon Stanley's instructions, Sizemore then upgraded the city of Gobwin Knob. He temporarily linked with Maggie in order to do this more efficiently. He is currently mining out the top layer of gems, and instructing Parson in the details of Erfworld magic. He's also gained another level, thanks to his work in rebuilding conquered cities so that they produce the same units as Gobwin Knob. He has sent out numerous parties of tunnel-capable units to search for feral [[Gobwin]]s in the tunnels underneath nearby mountain hexes. While Sizemore has located many [[Marbits]], he has yet to find a single Gobwin.
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During his most recent visits to the Magic Kingdom, he has found that the political climate there is changing drastically, and that he is far less welcome than he used to be. He may experience even more hosility in the Magic Kingdom in the future, as a result of his most recent assignment, which was to build a secret tunnel under [[Portal Park]] from Gobwin Knob's [[portal]] to [[Spacerock]]'s portal.
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==Relationships==
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===The [[Magic Kingdom]]===
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For many [[turns]], Sizemore led a double life. In [[Gobwin Knob]], he spent long, boring hours digging tunnels and working in the crap pits for an [[Overlord]] who couldn't be bothered to remember his name. He received little respect or reward for his hard work. But when he had the opportunity to visit the Magic Kingdom, things were very different. In the Magic Kingdom, his magical talents were in great demand. Many people were so eager to hire him for work he found easy and interesting that he could easily acquire all the money he wanted and still charge rates well below what people were willing to pay. He was universally respected, found it extremely easy to make friends, and he had little difficulty finding people willing to teach him about all of the different types of magic. His mastery of dirt and stone made him a "filthy rich rock star".   
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For Sizemore, the [[Magic Kingdom]] was his sanctuary, a place where all of the irritations and indignities of everyday life in [[Gobwin Knob]] simply vanished. Until, that is, [[Parson]] had him blow up the [[Volcano]], and everything changed.
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Sizemore's new found friendships with [[Parson]] and [[Maggie]] may be going a long way to make his life in [[Gobwin Knob]] more interesting and enjoyable. But the growing realization that [[Gobwin Knob]] may actually have the power to conquer [[Erfworld]] is  driving a wedge between Sizemore and all of his former friends in the [[Magic Kingdom]], with the exception of [[Janis]]. Sizemore suddenly belongs to a [[side]] whose vaulting ambitions and radical tactics are increasingly abhorrent to the [[caster]]s in the [[Magic Kingdom]]. And this growing division threatens to destroy not only the entire network of friendships Sizemore has created, but the tradition of political neutrality which the [[Magic Kingdom]] has always maintained in the past. 
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===[[Parson Gotti]]===
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{{:Parson-Sizemore Relationship}}
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===[[Wanda Firebaugh]]===
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{{:WandaSizemore}}
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===[[Janis]]===
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{{:SizemoreJanis}}
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===[[Maggie]]===
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{{:SizemoreMaggie}}
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===[[Stanley the Tool]]===
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{{:StanleySizemore}}
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==Speculation==
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Sizemore has a theoretical knowledge of many types of magic, but currently lacks the practical ability to effectively use any magic besides Dirtamancy, though he has been seen to use a Shockmancy scroll on one occasion. He may gain the ability to use more types of magic in the future, either because of his own advancement to a higher level, or because of his ability to link closely with Maggie. According to [[Hippiemancer]] [[Janis]], Sizemore had advanced two levels during the course of the Battle of Gobwin Knob.
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There are some signs that Sizemore may be becoming more assertive, confident and effective.
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Sizemore's curiosity into all forms of magic, his numerous visits to the Magic Kingdom, and his handiness and value to the other casters coupled with his dislike of fighting, his resentment over his role in the Battle of Gobwin Knob, and his general dislike of his side's current violent ascension might indicate that Sizemore would gladly be released from Gobwin Knob to become a side-less caster in the Magic Kingdom and may have strong motivations to do so kept in check only by his Duty and his faith in Janis.
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==Real World References==
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Sizemore's name is derived from the stage names of two members of the band [http://superbigcool.com/assrockers/ Assrockers]: Durt Sizemore and Riff Rockwell.{{WoT|1646581}}
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It is also worth noting that one of the earliest [http://www.freepatentsonline.com/1449702.html/ patents] for a shovel design was given to James B. Sizemore.
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It may also be poignant that he is underapreciated for his talents by Stanley and "sighs more" than a man of his ability should. His name is also an obvious pun on the term "seismic" - a term used for many things to do earthquakes.
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[[Category:Characters]]
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[[Category:Caster]]
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[[Category:Proposed Canon]]
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[[Category:Speculation]]
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[[Category:Real World References]]
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Revision as of 15:47, 4 May 2011

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