ErfWiki - User contributions [en]

Portal

2011-07-19T15:37:12Z

152.131.9.69:

{{ImageStackRight|280|{{crop|310|340|590|650|LIAB_55.jpg}}}}

==Proposed Canon==
Portals are magic teleportation devices that allow a user to leave one [[hex]] and enter another instantly. They may be an example of [[Hat Magic]]. Portals take the form of glowing doorways, and vary in color.<sup>[[LIAB_57:12]]</sup>

The only known portals connect to the [[Magic Kingdom]]. Reportedly, one exists in each side's capital.
Cities definitely known to have portals are:
* [[Gobwin Knob]] (green)
* [[Spacerock]] (blue),
* and the [[City of Unaroyal]] (before its fall).
* Other capitals such as [[Transylvito]] and [[Faq]] would also have them, but those have not yet been seen in the comic.

A non-[[caster]] [[unit]] that attempts to walk through a portal to the Magic Kingdom will be [[disband]]ed, and vanish. This is how [[Queen Bea]] of [[Unaroyal]] committed suicide.

Passing through a portal does not follow the known [[Movement]] rules. It apparently does not require movement points, as proven when [[Parson]] was able to use a portal despite being a garrison unit with zero move. Further, units may pass through the portal when it is not their turn, because [[Parson]] and his casters leave Gobwin Knob during the [[Royal Crown Coalition]]'s turn, and return during the night (between turns). {{erf|1|136}}

==Speculation==
As noted above, non-casters are disbanded when they enter a portal. However, Parson was able to pass through without disbanding, and arrive in the Magic Kingdom. A definitive reason for this has not yet been presented. [[Janis]] stated that Parson was actually a Hippiemancer, which may or may not be correct. Some other possibilities are: the portal could not see Parson's [[stats]] and therefore did not "know" he was a non-caster; the [[Mathamancy Bracer]] makes its wearer count as a Mathamancer; Parson as a non-native of Erf is immune to disbanding; or, contrary to what everyone believes, portals don't really automatically disband non-casters. (This last would beg the question of what happened to Queen Bea when she attempted suicide by portal.)

[[Category:Proposed Canon]]
[[Category:Speculation]]
[[Category:Magic]]

Talk:LIAB 67:4

2011-07-19T15:35:03Z

152.131.9.69: Created page with "Does anyone have a clue where the yellow portal goes to?"

Does anyone have a clue where the yellow portal goes to?

LIAB 67:4/Description

2011-07-19T15:34:08Z

152.131.9.69:

<noinclude>{{subpage}}[[Category:Frame Contents]]</noinclude>
Isaac and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Thomas Clarence Thomas]-like Thinkamancer stand before the blue [[portal]] to [[Jetstone]]. A yellow [[portal]] to an unknown [[side]] is visible in the background.

LIAB 67:4

2011-07-19T15:33:35Z

152.131.9.69:

{{paneler|67|4|LIAB|10|340|235|650||67|5|}}
[[Category:Frame Annotation/LIAB|067:4]]
== Headline text ==

LIAB 67:4/Description

2011-07-19T15:32:47Z

152.131.9.69:

LIAB 67:4/Description

2011-07-19T15:31:33Z

152.131.9.69: Created page with "Isaac and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Thomas Clarence Thomas]-like Thinkamancer stand before the blue portal to Jetstone. A yellow portal to and unkno..."

Isaac and the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Thomas Clarence Thomas]-like Thinkamancer stand before the blue [[portal]] to [[Jetstone]]. A yellow [[portal]] to and unknown [[side]] is visible in the background.

LIAB 67:4/Text

2011-07-19T15:29:38Z

152.131.9.69:

<noinclude>{{subpage}}[[Category:Frame Contents]]</noinclude>
'''[[Isaac]]:''' Chief, any caster in the park can take a shot at you right now.

But they won't... if you are under our protection.

'''Unknown ([http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clarence_Thomas Clarence Thomas]-like) Thinkamancer:''' Are you in good hands?

Erf

2011-07-19T15:07:14Z

152.131.9.69:

=Proposed Canon=
One of the three axes of [[magic]] (along with [[Fate]] and [[Numbers]]) used to break a major class of magic into its different disciplines.{{Erf|1|038a}}

{{MagicAxis|Erf}}

=Speculation=

Erf, possibly derived from the word "Earth", tends to deal with the physical, tangible, and practical. [[Findamancy]] locates a [[unit]], object, or location that exists. [[Turnamancy]] affects a unit's [[Loyalty]] or a [[city]]'s [[unit]] production. [[Dirtamancy]] creates and heals [[golem]]s from available material, and can move and restructure the Erf itself. [[Lookamancy]] allows you to see a distant location as it is at that moment. [[Flower Power]] and [[Shockmancy]] have direct effects on units. [[Hat Magic]] creates magic [[hat]]s and transports physical matter. Least clearly physical is [[Luckamancy]], which seems to directly affect reality.

[[Category:Erfworld_Mechanics]][[Category:Magic]][[Category:Speculation]][[Category:Proposed Canon]]

==Speculation on Erf in Magic==
[[Fate]] controls the paths of [[unit]]s and [[side]]s. [[Numbers]] deals in likelihoods and abstracts. [[Erf]] is the world around you, the terrain, reality itself. Looking at each possibility of Erf + Life + Motion + Matter

'''Luckamancy''' - Erf alone. Devoid of the influences of Fate and Numbers (Predictamancy and Mathamancy), untied to Life, Motion, or Matter (which seek to change or control), luckamancy is free to do the impossible. Or not.

'''Findamancy''' - [[Erf]] and [[Life]] (no [[Motion]] and no [[Matter]]) - Finding life on erf.

'''Turnamancy''' - [[Erf]] and [[Motion]] (no [[Life]] and no [[Matter]]) - as the Erf turns... erm, change in the erf? Moving people from place to place? Supports out-of-turn movement more than double-dealing, I guess...

'''Dirtamancy''' - [[Erf]] and [[Matter]] (no [[Life]] and no [[Motion]]) - Manipulating the physical matter of Erf itself.

'''Lookamancy''' - Erf, Life, and Motion (no [[Matter]])- Watching the motion of life on erf. Observing its changes.

'''Flower Power''' - Erf, Life, and Matter (no [[Motion]])- Maintaining life, preserving matter... the absence of motion. No change. Flaking. Time standing still.

'''Shockmancy''' - Erf, Motion, and Matter (no [[Life]]) - Change or movement of matter, absence of Life. Shock and awe.

'''Hat Magic''' - Erf, Life, Motion, and Matter - Transmission of matter and knowledge (life) across the erf.

augmented upon the notes on the discussion page by [[User:Commander I. Heartly Noah|Commander I. Heartly Noah]] June 3 2009

Talk:Erf

2011-07-19T15:01:47Z

152.131.9.69:

==Speculation on Erf in Magic==
Fate controls the paths of units and sides. Numbers deals in likelihoods and abstracts. Erf is the world around you, the terrain, reality itself.

'''Findamancy''' - Erf and Life - Finding life on erf.

'''Turnamancy''' - Erf and Motion - as the Erf turns... erm, change in the erf? Moving people from place to place? Supports out-of-turn movement more than double-dealing, I guess...

'''Dirtamancy''' - Erf and Matter - Manipulating the Erf itself.

'''Lookamancy''' - Erf, Life, and Motion - Watching the motion of life on erf. Observing its changes.

'''Flower Power''' - Erf, Life, and Matter - Maintaining life, preserving matter... the absence of motion. No change. Flaking. Time standing still.

'''Shockmancy''' - Erf, Motion, and Matter - Change or movement of matter, absence of Life. Shock and awe.

'''Hat Magic''' - Erf, Life, Motion, and Matter - Transmission of matter and knowledge (life) across the erf.

'''Luckamancy''' - Erf alone. Devoid of the influences of Fate and Numbers (Predictamancy and Mathamancy), untied to Life, Motion, or Matter (which seek to change or control), luckamancy is free to do the impossible. Or not.

[[User:Commander I. Heartly Noah|Commander I. Heartly Noah]] June 3 2009

I find this table to be useful. I am moving it to the [[Erf]] page.

Erf

2011-07-19T15:00:33Z

152.131.9.69: /* Speculation */

LIAB 66:14/Text

2011-07-08T14:41:46Z

152.131.9.69:

<noinclude>{{subpage}}[[Category:Frame Contents]]</noinclude>
'''[[Isaac]]:''' We'd really rather not do this by force.

'''[[Parson]]:''' Start over, [[Mr. Rogers]], [[Maggie]] did ''what'' now?

LIAB 66:14

2011-07-07T16:34:22Z

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LIAB 66:13

2011-07-07T16:28:39Z

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[[Category:Frame Annotation/LIAB|066:13]]

LIAB 66:12

2011-07-07T16:21:33Z

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[[Category:Frame Annotation/LIAB|066:12]]

LIAB 66:11

2011-07-07T16:19:10Z

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LIAB 66:11

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LIAB 66:10

2011-07-07T16:16:35Z

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LIAB 66:10

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LIAB 66:9

2011-07-07T16:15:11Z

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LIAB 66:8

2011-07-07T16:13:52Z

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LIAB 66:7

2011-07-07T16:11:38Z

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LIAB 66:6

2011-07-07T16:10:22Z

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LIAB 66:5

2011-07-07T16:08:24Z

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LIAB 66:4

2011-07-07T16:04:53Z

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LIAB 66:3

2011-07-07T15:59:17Z

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LIAB 66:1

2011-07-07T15:57:24Z

152.131.9.69:

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== Headline text ==

LIAB 66:2

2011-07-07T15:48:15Z

152.131.9.69:

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== Headline text ==

Turn-Based Movement

2011-07-06T15:45:50Z

152.131.9.69: /* Examples of Turn-based Movement Games */

=Speculation=
In gaming, players may be human or may be run by a computer (or a set of instructions in the case of board games), and it can become argumentative to have two or more people trying to push counters around a map simultaneously, or it may be simply impossible for a human player to keep up with an AI that can have all movement performed in microseconds (which programmers intentionally slow down to human reaction speeds to make the game playable). This form of movement is called Real-Time Movement. In Real-Time Movement systems, Players move simultaneously, as they would in our universe. The problem with this system is that players with knowledge of the system will have a faster reaction time, moving pieces more frequently and accurately, and there can be a steep learning curve preventing new players from competing.

In order to level the playing field, [[movement]] can be altered to a sequential system. Each player or AI moves in some form of order, taking an equivalent number of [[Turn]]s in order to ensure fairness of play. This has become known as Turn-based Movement. Although this is a less realistic system, in that it fails to model our own world accurately, it is often necessary in games.

The vast majority of board games are Turn based, while Real-time tends to be more frequent in computer games. Real-time movment in board games is one of the most difficult systems to implement, because of the physical limitation of how many people can put their hands in the same place at the same time, and because it spawns arguments over whether enemy pieces were in the same place at the same time. There are some tricks that can be used to make a board game closely approximate a Real-time system. Typically, combat time can be sectioned into extremely small segments, with players waiting many segments before acting, with either a limited occurance of simultaneous action, or a selection process to choose who moves first. A second method is to allow only a single [[hex]] movement per time segment, with a similar process to prevent simultaneous movement.

===Examples of Turn-based Movement Games===
*Civilization series (see http://www.freeciv.org/)
*Squad Leader
*Warhammer
*Dungeons and Dragons

===Examples of Real-time Movement Games===
*Warcraft and Starcraft series
*Star Fleet Battles
*Champions/Hero Games

[[Category:Speculation]]
[[Category:Erfworld Mechanics]]

Conventions

2011-07-06T15:41:19Z

152.131.9.69: Is there any way we can update the conventions page? How do we know when/where Rob and other Titans are talking?

==Con Schedule==

* [http://www.penguicon.org/ Penguicon 7.0] Romulus, MI ([[Rob Balder|Rob]]) 2009-05-01
* [http://www.balticon.org/ Balticon] Hunt Valley, MD ([[Rob Balder|Rob]], possibly [[Jamie_Noguchi|Jamie]]) 2009-05-22
* [http://www.anthrocon.org/ AnthroCon] Pittsburgh, PA ([[Rob Balder|Rob]]) 2009-07-02

[[Category:Wiki]]

Stack

2011-07-05T17:06:01Z

152.131.9.69: /* Proposed cannon */

{{ImageStackRight|220|{{crop|285|830|500|945|TBFGK_42.jpg}}}}

=Proposed cannon=

A stack is set of [[units]] from allied [[sides]] that is formed to create a combat advantage. Each unit in a stack can receive bonuses from other units in the stack, such as, but not limited to [[leadership]], [[spell]] and [[artifact]] bonuses. As units are added to a stack they add to a stack bonus which maxes out at 8 units, however a stack can be larger then 8. A stack bonus should not be confused with [[hex]] bonuses that apply to all units within a hex.
The advantage may be for attack or defense, although it is known that you can stack for stealth purposes as well. {{ref| LIAB Text 50}}

=Speculation=

Hexes seem to have a maximum number of units or stacks that can exist within them. [[Column]]s seem to form because there are too many units to fit within a single [[Hex]].

The three-hex [[Column]] that retook [[Warchalking]] for [[Gobwin Knob]] contained twelve stacks, so the limit may be four or five allied stacks per hex.

It could also be that it was simply more efficient for the stacks to be separated, as their move stat was so different that, rather than slow down the fastest units to have them all arrive at the same time.

It is unknown why everyone doesn't just form massive superstacks to maximize bonuses; even if the stack bonus maxes at eight units, it seems that stack-range bonuses, such as the high stack-range component of Leadership, should be spread to as many units as possible (this strategy is touched upon in [[TBFGK 113]]). Also, stacks of nine or more units would have a buffer for their stack bonus, delaying the reduction of the bonus as the stack begins to lose units. Possible explanations include:

:Perhaps the limit on maximum stack size prevents it. [[TBFGK_58:2|This reference]] to a "max stack" appears to suggest this.

:Perhaps the bonuses only apply to the first eight units in the Stack.

:Perhaps each Stack can make a single 'attack', and anything beyond the first eight units isn't counted at all - thus, while it would provide spare durability, you can maximize your damage output by keeping the stacks as small as possible with the maximum bonuses. This would include the assumption would presumably be that you can reconsolidate your stacks quickly as they suffer attrition.

:Perhaps the bonuses actually decrease if a stack exceeds an optimum size.

Assuming Stanley took a max-stack to flee Gobwin Knob here {{erf|1|077}}, the size for a max stack appears to be no less than 30 units:

* 3 x Knights +
* 1 x Stanley +
* 1 x Jack +
* 24 x (Group B) dwagons (assuming they all lived, minus the three killed by Ansom) +
* 1 x Stanley's Red dwagon +
* An unknown number of reserve dwagons.

[[Category:Erfworld Mechanics]]
[[Category:Proposed Canon]]

Stack

2011-07-05T17:05:08Z

152.131.9.69: /* Proposed cannon */

{{ImageStackRight|220|{{crop|285|830|500|945|TBFGK_42.jpg}}}}

=Proposed cannon=

A stack is set of [[units]] from allied [[sides]] that is formed to create a combat advantage. Each unit in a stack can receive bonuses from other units in the stack, such as, but not limited to [[leadership]], [[spell]] and [[artifact]] bonuses. As units are added to a stack they add to a stack bonus which maxes out at 8 units, however a stack can be larger then 8. A stack bonus should not be confused with [[hex]] bonuses that apply to all units within a hex.
The advantage may be for attack or defense, although it is known that you can stack for stealth purposes as well. {{ref|LIAB Text 50}}

=Speculation=

Hexes seem to have a maximum number of units or stacks that can exist within them. [[Column]]s seem to form because there are too many units to fit within a single [[Hex]].

The three-hex [[Column]] that retook [[Warchalking]] for [[Gobwin Knob]] contained twelve stacks, so the limit may be four or five allied stacks per hex.

It could also be that it was simply more efficient for the stacks to be separated, as their move stat was so different that, rather than slow down the fastest units to have them all arrive at the same time.

It is unknown why everyone doesn't just form massive superstacks to maximize bonuses; even if the stack bonus maxes at eight units, it seems that stack-range bonuses, such as the high stack-range component of Leadership, should be spread to as many units as possible (this strategy is touched upon in [[TBFGK 113]]). Also, stacks of nine or more units would have a buffer for their stack bonus, delaying the reduction of the bonus as the stack begins to lose units. Possible explanations include:

:Perhaps the limit on maximum stack size prevents it. [[TBFGK_58:2|This reference]] to a "max stack" appears to suggest this.

:Perhaps the bonuses only apply to the first eight units in the Stack.

:Perhaps each Stack can make a single 'attack', and anything beyond the first eight units isn't counted at all - thus, while it would provide spare durability, you can maximize your damage output by keeping the stacks as small as possible with the maximum bonuses. This would include the assumption would presumably be that you can reconsolidate your stacks quickly as they suffer attrition.

:Perhaps the bonuses actually decrease if a stack exceeds an optimum size.

Assuming Stanley took a max-stack to flee Gobwin Knob here {{erf|1|077}}, the size for a max stack appears to be no less than 30 units:

* 3 x Knights +
* 1 x Stanley +
* 1 x Jack +
* 24 x (Group B) dwagons (assuming they all lived, minus the three killed by Ansom) +
* 1 x Stanley's Red dwagon +
* An unknown number of reserve dwagons.

[[Category:Erfworld Mechanics]]
[[Category:Proposed Canon]]

Janis Atlantis

2011-07-05T17:02:19Z

152.131.9.69: Redirected page to Janis

#REDIRECT [[Janis]]

First Intermission 32

2011-06-29T22:57:27Z

152.131.9.69: /* Notes */

{{pager int|32|First_Intermission}}

''Art by [http://econniff.blogspot.com/ Eugene Conniff]''

'''Turns since TBfGK: 3'''

There were four [[dwagon]]s: a [[Green dwagon|green]], a [[Blue dwagon|blue]], a plated [[Red dwagon|red]], and a [[Yellow dwagon|yellow]]. The rest were away with [[Wanda Firebaugh|Wanda]] and [[Prince Ansom|Ansom]] on the road to [[Warchalking]].

Squinting around the sky, it looked like only the red and the yellow were saddled. [[Parson Gotti|Parson]] looked at the red. It was the biggest one, the one most likely to be able to carry him, if size counted for anything in [[Erfworld]]'s [[magic]]al flight mechanics. But that was [[Stanley]]'s personal [[mount]]. Even his Bad Idea Bears™{{ref|BadIdeaBears}} ("Apple" and "Jack") weren't going there.

The yellow it was, then.

"How do I call one?" he asked.

"Speaking or shouting the [[command]] will work, [[Warlord|Lord]]," said [[Maggie]], lurching a bit as she rounded the remains of the picnic and walked up beside him. Though he was not completely steady himself, he offered his right elbow and she grabbed it gratefully. "Not be- because they understand [[Language]], but because it hhhelps you frame the intent in your mind. You see. Experienced-" she swallowed hard, or possibly hiccupped. "Excuse me. Experienced [[commander]]s can command [[stack]]s with few or no words. When you understand your command, the [[unit]] will. Yet another fo-horm of natural [[Thinkamancy]], Lord."

[[Parson]] blew out a fruity-smelling breath and drew in another. "Okay. Hey! [[Yellow dwagon]]!" From four hundred yards off, it turned its head toward them and snorted. "Yeah! C'mere you big... goddamn flyin' [[banana]]!"

The dwagon J-hooked into a dive that took it swooping over the rooftops, directly toward them. Its wings were stiff and swept back as it covered most of the intervening distance in a single glide. As it neared their tower, it pumped its wings hard, three times. It took the [[tower]] like there was an invisible skate ramp up the side. Parson jumped back as it topped the parapet. The beast took up an indignant hover just above them. Parson could almost feel it asking, "WHAT?!"

Maggie let go of his arm, as he took a step toward it. [[Sizemore]] pulled the picnic blanket away.

"Can it land here?"

"Yes, Lord."

"Land!" Parson shouted.

Immediately, the dwagon raised its wing tips and drifted down gracefully. It planted its rear feet on the stone flooring, followed by the front claws. Its wings snapped and folded like a Japanese battle fan, and its stomach spread out on the floor.

"They are pretty amazing," said Parson, looking at it closely. It looked at him equally closely. "It just... came down like a dandilion seed, but it's the size of what, a van? A bus? A short one, anyway." He walked up to it and touched its scales, which were hard and slick, and felt like ceramic when he tapped them. He touched the saddle, too. Shiny leather, steel stirrups, braided leather reins. Probably too small. "Yeah this prolly has a lot in common with riding a short yellow bus. Okay, hold still!" he [[command]]ed.

On the third of three undignified tries, Parson got into the saddle. Planting his armored belly on the saddle horn and swinging his leg over the creature's back could not possibly be the best way to get mounted, but it got him there. The [[dwagon]] grunted and snorted in discomfort, or possibly simple disbelief at the situation.

Parson picked up the reins. He squirmed into a sitting position that his crotch could live with, and grinned at Sizemore. He knew he had to look like the fat kid on the coin-op ride outside Kmart. Hell, he'd been that kid once. Sizemore looked disapproving, but said nothing.

"[[Banana]]!" he commanded. "Fly me to the [[Tower of Efdup]]!"

Banana the dwagon, as it and Parson both understood was now its name, shuddered once. It unfolded its wings. It sat up, lifting Parson up a few feet. He held on. The dwagon flapped.

It flapped again. Then several times more.

They did not rise.

It flapped harder, stirring up a breeze on the top of the tower like a helicopter draft. Still, they were not showing signs of lift. Sizemore put his hands on his hips. "I told you, Warlord."

Parson looked down at his struggling mount. "Yeah. I dunno." He looked up into the air. They had attracted the attention of the [[Archon]]s, who were drifting over to see what was happening. "Maybe with a running start..."

Commanding a stack is a kind of art form, Parson later learned. Even speaking units have a certain intuition for their warlord's intentions. The commander himself has to be sure about the difference between issuing a command and thinking out loud.

[[Banana]] turned and lurched forward toward the edge of the tower. Parson was too stunned at the development to say more than "Urrk," as the dwagon planted its foreclaws on the stone merlons and vaulted itself over the edge, unleashing a mighty roar.

As time slowed down, the first thing Parson thought about was the fact that time was slowing down. He wondered how this would fit into his understanding of relative time in [[Erfworld]].

The dwagon was falling, more or less straight down over the side of the tower.

He then noticed that one of the [[Archon]]s had her fingers up and was "filming" this event. He had time to wonder who might be receiving the live feed of this view, or if Archons could "tape" the events they saw, and play them back later. He thought in this case that would be useful for talking to the insurance company.

He also thought that "Maybe with a running start" was a terrible set of last words. He should at least have said, "Y'all hold my beer and watch this."

Finally, he realized that time couldn't possibly be slowing down this much. He looked back up at the edge of the tower, and saw two small, worried faces looking down at him. He and the dwagon actually were falling unnaturally slowly. But definitely falling, not floating.

The ground came up, and Banana squashed into it, face first. The impact was hard enough that Parson was thrown out of the saddle and rolled on the bricks twice. As he lay in a heap, the nearby [[piker]]s immediately scrambled to his aid.

The [[dwagon]] roared angrily, and took off into the sky, leaving a steaming pile of acidic battlecrap on the pavement.

Parson sat up, with some pain. He had scraped up his hands, elbow and forehead fairly badly. A dozen concerned pikers were standing in a circle looking down.

One of them handed him a handkerchief. "Lord?"

Parson looked up at the circle of small men. "I bet you think that was really stupid," he said to them.

No-one said a word. He put the handkerchief to his bleeding elbow. "Well, yes," he admitted, "yes it was." He grinned. The faces looming over him were suddenly hilarious. "But you gotta admit, you gotta admit! I learned something today!"

----
===Notes===
#{{note|BadIdeaBears}}The Bad Idea Bears are characters offering poor advice in the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avenue_Q Avenue Q] musical.

Naming the bears "Apple" and "Jack" are probably an allusion to "Apple Jacks" which is a fruity breakfast cereal, presumably brought to Parson's mind because of the fruity wine at the picnic.

[[Category:Page Annotation/First Intermission]]

First Intermission 32

2011-06-29T22:57:04Z

152.131.9.69:

{{pager int|32|First_Intermission}}

''Art by [http://econniff.blogspot.com/ Eugene Conniff]''

'''Turns since TBfGK: 3'''

There were four [[dwagon]]s: a [[Green dwagon|green]], a [[Blue dwagon|blue]], a plated [[Red dwagon|red]], and a [[Yellow dwagon|yellow]]. The rest were away with [[Wanda Firebaugh|Wanda]] and [[Prince Ansom|Ansom]] on the road to [[Warchalking]].

Squinting around the sky, it looked like only the red and the yellow were saddled. [[Parson Gotti|Parson]] looked at the red. It was the biggest one, the one most likely to be able to carry him, if size counted for anything in [[Erfworld]]'s [[magic]]al flight mechanics. But that was [[Stanley]]'s personal [[mount]]. Even his Bad Idea Bears™{{ref|BadIdeaBears}} ("Apple" and "Jack") weren't going there.

The yellow it was, then.

"How do I call one?" he asked.

"Speaking or shouting the [[command]] will work, [[Warlord|Lord]]," said [[Maggie]], lurching a bit as she rounded the remains of the picnic and walked up beside him. Though he was not completely steady himself, he offered his right elbow and she grabbed it gratefully. "Not be- because they understand [[Language]], but because it hhhelps you frame the intent in your mind. You see. Experienced-" she swallowed hard, or possibly hiccupped. "Excuse me. Experienced [[commander]]s can command [[stack]]s with few or no words. When you understand your command, the [[unit]] will. Yet another fo-horm of natural [[Thinkamancy]], Lord."

[[Parson]] blew out a fruity-smelling breath and drew in another. "Okay. Hey! [[Yellow dwagon]]!" From four hundred yards off, it turned its head toward them and snorted. "Yeah! C'mere you big... goddamn flyin' [[banana]]!"

The dwagon J-hooked into a dive that took it swooping over the rooftops, directly toward them. Its wings were stiff and swept back as it covered most of the intervening distance in a single glide. As it neared their tower, it pumped its wings hard, three times. It took the [[tower]] like there was an invisible skate ramp up the side. Parson jumped back as it topped the parapet. The beast took up an indignant hover just above them. Parson could almost feel it asking, "WHAT?!"

Maggie let go of his arm, as he took a step toward it. [[Sizemore]] pulled the picnic blanket away.

"Can it land here?"

"Yes, Lord."

"Land!" Parson shouted.

Immediately, the dwagon raised its wing tips and drifted down gracefully. It planted its rear feet on the stone flooring, followed by the front claws. Its wings snapped and folded like a Japanese battle fan, and its stomach spread out on the floor.

"They are pretty amazing," said Parson, looking at it closely. It looked at him equally closely. "It just... came down like a dandilion seed, but it's the size of what, a van? A bus? A short one, anyway." He walked up to it and touched its scales, which were hard and slick, and felt like ceramic when he tapped them. He touched the saddle, too. Shiny leather, steel stirrups, braided leather reins. Probably too small. "Yeah this prolly has a lot in common with riding a short yellow bus. Okay, hold still!" he [[command]]ed.

On the third of three undignified tries, Parson got into the saddle. Planting his armored belly on the saddle horn and swinging his leg over the creature's back could not possibly be the best way to get mounted, but it got him there. The [[dwagon]] grunted and snorted in discomfort, or possibly simple disbelief at the situation.

Parson picked up the reins. He squirmed into a sitting position that his crotch could live with, and grinned at Sizemore. He knew he had to look like the fat kid on the coin-op ride outside Kmart. Hell, he'd been that kid once. Sizemore looked disapproving, but said nothing.

"[[Banana]]!" he commanded. "Fly me to the [[Tower of Efdup]]!"

Banana the dwagon, as it and Parson both understood was now its name, shuddered once. It unfolded its wings. It sat up, lifting Parson up a few feet. He held on. The dwagon flapped.

It flapped again. Then several times more.

They did not rise.

It flapped harder, stirring up a breeze on the top of the tower like a helicopter draft. Still, they were not showing signs of lift. Sizemore put his hands on his hips. "I told you, Warlord."

Parson looked down at his struggling mount. "Yeah. I dunno." He looked up into the air. They had attracted the attention of the [[Archon]]s, who were drifting over to see what was happening. "Maybe with a running start..."

Commanding a stack is a kind of art form, Parson later learned. Even speaking units have a certain intuition for their warlord's intentions. The commander himself has to be sure about the difference between issuing a command and thinking out loud.

[[Banana]] turned and lurched forward toward the edge of the tower. Parson was too stunned at the development to say more than "Urrk," as the dwagon planted its foreclaws on the stone merlons and vaulted itself over the edge, unleashing a mighty roar.

As time slowed down, the first thing Parson thought about was the fact that time was slowing down. He wondered how this would fit into his understanding of relative time in [[Erfworld]].

The dwagon was falling, more or less straight down over the side of the tower.

He then noticed that one of the [[Archon]]s had her fingers up and was "filming" this event. He had time to wonder who might be receiving the live feed of this view, or if Archons could "tape" the events they saw, and play them back later. He thought in this case that would be useful for talking to the insurance company.

He also thought that "Maybe with a running start" was a terrible set of last words. He should at least have said, "Y'all hold my beer and watch this."

Finally, he realized that time couldn't possibly be slowing down this much. He looked back up at the edge of the tower, and saw two small, worried faces looking down at him. He and the dwagon actually were falling unnaturally slowly. But definitely falling, not floating.

The ground came up, and Banana squashed into it, face first. The impact was hard enough that Parson was thrown out of the saddle and rolled on the bricks twice. As he lay in a heap, the nearby [[piker]]s immediately scrambled to his aid.

The [[dwagon]] roared angrily, and took off into the sky, leaving a steaming pile of acidic battlecrap on the pavement.

Parson sat up, with some pain. He had scraped up his hands, elbow and forehead fairly badly. A dozen concerned pikers were standing in a circle looking down.

One of them handed him a handkerchief. "Lord?"

Parson looked up at the circle of small men. "I bet you think that was really stupid," he said to them.

No-one said a word. He put the handkerchief to his bleeding elbow. "Well, yes," he admitted, "yes it was." He grinned. The faces looming over him were suddenly hilarious. "But you gotta admit, you gotta admit! I learned something today!"

----
===Notes===
#{{note|BadIdeaBears}}The Bad Idea Bears are characters offering poor advice in the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avenue_Q Avenue Q] musical.

Naming the bears "Apple" and "Jack" are probably an allustion to "Apple Jacks" which is a fruity breakfast cereal, presumably brought to Parson's mind because of the fruity wine at the picnic.

[[Category:Page Annotation/First Intermission]]

Banana

2011-06-29T22:49:35Z

152.131.9.69: /* Proposed Canon */

{{ImageStackRight|375|
[[Image:Banana.jpg]]
{{Stats
|name= Banana
|race= [[Yellow Dwagon]]
|faction= [[Gobwin Knob]]
|class= [[Heavy Unit]]
|move=
|hits=
|combat=
|defense=
|special= [[Unit#Natural_Abilities|Flight]], "[[Breath Weapon]]", [[Mount]]
}}
}}

=Proposed Canon=
'''First Appearance:''' [[First Intermission 32]]

'''Banana''' is the [[Yellow Dwagon]] that [[Parson]] tried to fly during his picnic, much to its discomfort.
Apparently [[dwagon]]s (and most non sentient creatures) are not named on [[Erfworld]], as this engendered some confusion when Parson named the dwagon. Parson's experience as [[heavy unit]] with trying to fly was significant in the strategy used in the Battle for [[Spacerock]] (Capital of the [[Jetstone]] [[side]]) to allow [[Gobwin Knob]] to establish control over the [[Atrium]].

=Trivia=

A H-21 helicopter is known as the "Flying Banana". [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CH-21]

[[Category:Dwagon]]
[[Category:Proposed Canon]]

Banana

2011-06-29T22:48:28Z

152.131.9.69: /* Proposed Canon */

{{ImageStackRight|375|
[[Image:Banana.jpg]]
{{Stats
|name= Banana
|race= [[Yellow Dwagon]]
|faction= [[Gobwin Knob]]
|class= [[Heavy Unit]]
|move=
|hits=
|combat=
|defense=
|special= [[Unit#Natural_Abilities|Flight]], "[[Breath Weapon]]", [[Mount]]
}}
}}

=Proposed Canon=
'''First Appearance:''' [[First Intermission 32]]

'''Banana''' is the [[Yellow Dwagon]] that [[Parson]] tried to fly during his picnic, much to its discomfort.
Apparently [[dwagon]]s (and most non sentient creatures) are not named on [[Erfworld]], as this engendered some confusion when Parson named the dwagon. Parson's experience as [[heavy unit]] with trying to fly was significant in the strategy used in the Battle for Jetstone to allow [[Gobwin Knob]] to establish control over the [[Atrium]].

=Trivia=

A H-21 helicopter is known as the "Flying Banana". [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CH-21]

[[Category:Dwagon]]
[[Category:Proposed Canon]]

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