Jillian Zamussels

2012-12-02T14:23:43Z

76.118.180.34: /* What does Jillian Really Want, and Why Doesn't She Know It? */

{{ImageStackRight|240|
[[File:JillianZamussels.png|center]]
{{Stats
|name= Jillian Zamussels
|race= [[Men]]
|tribe=
|faction= [[Faq]], formerly [[Barbarian]]
|class= [[Ruler]] ([[King|Queen]]), formerly [[Warlord]], ([[Prince]]ss)
|level= 9 (minimum)
|special= [[Dance-fighting]], [[Leadership]], [[Royal]]
}}
}}

=Proposed Canon=

'''Book 1:'''

''"I never stabbed anything that didn't stop being an immediate problem."''

'''Strengths:''' Fearlessness, Independence, Unrealistically Oversized Weaponry, Hack-slash-carve-stabbity-chopchop

'''Weaknesses:''' Manners, Subtlety, Knowing What She Wants

'''Book 2:'''

''"And, for the record, King? She doesn't know everything.She only knows what I told you."''

'''Strengths:''' Extensive Military Experience, Knows the Enemy, Cunning Advisers, Hidden Resources

'''Weaknesses:''' Ambivalent about Enemies and Allies, Loneliness, Secret Alliance, Knowing What She Wants

'''First Appearance:''' [[TBFGK 7]]

==Jillian's Background==
{{outdated|Needs to have WRECD and her first meeting with Wanda included}}
'''Jillian Zamussels''' was popped more than 700 [[turns]] ago (before 625 [[BW]]){{erf|2|T6}}, as [[heir]] to [[King Banhammer]] of the [[Kingdom of Faq]] after [[Marie Lavraie]] [[Predictamancy|predicted]] that Faq would be destroyed.{{ref|[[IPTSF Text 34]]}} When Faq was, as Predicted, destroyed by [[Stanley]] during his rise to power, she became a [[Barbarian]] [[mercenary]].

As a [[Princess]], Jillian did not understand or appreciate her Father's interest in Faqian Philosophy. If Jillian's personality was designed to enable her to survive the destruction of Faq, and then to gather the resources needed to rebuild Faq, then her intense concentration on the development of military skills makes sense. For at least 200 [[turns]] of her existence she would not put up with anyone calling her "Princess". {{ref| [[IPTSF Text 27]]}}

At the beginning of the [[Battle of Gobwin Knob]], Jillian Zamussels was a [[mercenary]] [[warlord]] in the service of [[Prince Ansom]]'s [[Royal Crown Coalition]] against [[Stanley the Tool]]'s [[Gobwin Knob]] faction.

Jillian is now the Queen of the newly restored faction of [[Faq]].{{blog|2009|09|summer-updates-037}} As a consequence of becoming Queen, Jillian is becoming more mature. She has ordered the production of a new [[Royal]] [[Heir]] for [[Faq]], in return for certain concessions from [[Don King]]. By hiring [[Vanna]], she has accelerated the speed at which her new [[heir]] is being created. She has also formed alliances with [[Charlie]] and the [[Western Giants]]. Unlike most [[Royal]]s, she may not be a strong believer in [[Royalism]]. At the beginning of [[LIAB|Love is a Battlefield]], she is in the capital city of [[Jetstone]].

===The Metamorphosis from Barbarian to Queen===

As a [[Barbarian]], Jillian regularly took incredible risks. On her second mission as a [[barbarian]] she was almost killed. {{ref | [[First_Intermission_41]]}} [[Ansom]] found this irritating, but for a long time, he didn't find it suspicious, probably because it was how he expected a high-[[level]] [[Barbarian]] [[Warlord]] to behave.

All [[Warlords]] probably have a fairly expensive [[upkeep]] cost. This means that [[Barbarian]] [[Warlords]] have to be able to pay their own expensive [[upkeep]], or [[disband]]. A [[Barbarian]] [[Warlord]] simply cannot afford to take a cautious, careful approach to life. She must make large profits, in order to pay her large upkeep. If the only way to make those large profits is by taking huge risks, then she knows that while she might die in battle, she will certainly die if she can't make the money needed to pay her [[upkeep]]. If she succeeds, she will rise in [[level]], as Jillian did. But rising in level is not an unmixed blessing for a [[Barbarian]]. It makes her more capable, and therefore makes her services more marketable, but it also increases the amount of money she must earn to pay her upkeep.

Jillian survived and succeeded as a mercenary because she always took just the right risks. But now she is a [[King|Queen]], who can draw upon the entire resources of her [[side]]. Unlike [[Barbarians]], [[Ruler]]s can and must take a cautious approach to life, and most of them do. They certainly want to expand their [[sides]], but they must carefully manage and develop their resources. and avoid wars they can't reasonably expect to win. The difference in strategy between a [[Barbarian]] and a Queen is comparable to that between a weed and a redwood.

Or at least, that would be the case under normal circumstances. Jillian has become Queen at an unprecedented time in [[Erfworld]]'s history. Never before have the [[Ruler]]s of [[Erfworld]] faced such desperate challenges. The old strategies will simply not work. In order to survive, [[Ruler]]s must try new ideas and take new risks. And Jillian, because of her time as a [[Barbarian]] [[Warlord]], may be the only [[Ruler]] on either [[side]] of the War who has the right instincts.

==Relationships==

===[[Wanda Firebaugh]]===

{{:WandaJillian}}

===[[Charlie]]===

{{:Jillian-Charlie Relationship}}

===[[Jack Snipe]]===

{{:JillianJack}}

===[[Prince Ansom]]===

{{:Ansom-Jillian Relationship}}

===[[Don King]]===

{{:Jillian-Don Relationship}}

===[[Caesar Borgata]]===

{{:Jillian-Caesar Relationship}}

===[[Vinny Doombats]]===

{{:Jillian-Vinny Relationship}}

{{ImageStackRight|220|
[[File:Jillians_sword.JPG|thumb|Center|200px|Jillian holds her sword back as she prepares to engage Stanley's dwagon mount.]]
}}
{{ImageStackRight|220|
[[File:Jillians_dagger.JPG|thumb|Center|200px|Jillian draws her dagger as she engages a wounded dwagon.]]
}}

==Jillian's Weapons==
Jillian normally prefers to fight from the back of a [[gwiffon]]. She carries a large greatsword named Three-Edged[[IPTSF Text 28]], and a dagger.

==Plot==
Jillian is a barbarian warlord, hired to lead Prince Ansom's flying units. She is a good tactical fighter, but reckless, and has been known to seek out combat even when it is irrelevant to the mission and contrary to orders.

Her personal relationship to Prince Ansom is ambiguous when the two first meet. She rejects an invitation to spend the night in his tent; however, she later approaches the tent as if reconsidering the offer, but walks away.

While flying a scouting mission, riding a [[gwiffon]] with a flight of [[orly]]s as support, Jillian encounters a group of Stanley's [[dwagon]]s. She croaks a blue dwagon before she is captured and taken to [[Gobwin Knob]].

When [[Wanda Firebaugh]] arrives to interrogate her, Jillian proposes that "both of us get out of here." Wanda's response is to strike her with a whip and instruct Jillian to address her as "Mistress". After Jillian complies, Wanda casts an unspecified [[Spell]] (presumably her [[Suggestion Spell]] to manipulate Jillian's actions).

After the interrogation, Jillian shows signs of considerable physical torture, and has apparently told Wanda everything she wanted to know. However, she is also chatting with her interrogator in an offhand, even friendly, manner. There is a strong implication (at least) of a sadomasochistic relationship between the two.

The following turn, Jillian is used as bait in a trap to lure Ansom out to where he could easily be ambushed by Stanley's Dwagons. The plan fails, and Jillian meets up with [[Sir Webinar]] and [[Dora]], and then [[Charlie]]'s [[Archon|Archons]]. Meanwhile, the [[Royal Crown Coalition|Coalition]] column is raided by dwagons, and [[Prince Ansom]] leads an expeditionary force to finish them off while they are still wounded and vulnerable. This turns out to be another, more successful, trap. Ansom calls on Jillian and the forces accompanying her to hunt the wounded dwagons.

After a long search, with little [[Movement|Move]] left, Jillian et al. discover the [[dwagon]]s hovering over a nearby lake. Jillian becomes conflicted: she knows her duty is to destroy the dwagons, but [[Wanda|Wanda's]] [[Suggestion Spell]] is pressuring her to find a reason to do something else. The [[Archon]]s approach her and engage her, trying to help resolve the conflict, pointing out the spell. Jillian makes her decision: she announces her love for Ansom via a [[Thinkagram]], and proceeds to attack the dwagons. Parson responds by ordering the dwagons and [[uncroaked]] [[Warlords]] to attack to kill Jillian, but Ansom saves the day by coming to her rescue. The dwagons are wiped out. The leadership of the [[Royal Crown Coalition]] now expects to be destroyed by the remaining healthy dwagons from the circle trap. Jillian and Ansom spend the night on his [[Magic Item#Flying_Carpet|flying carpet]], permitting themselves a last moment of joy.

The attack never comes. [[Stanley]] has ordered the [[dwagon]]s elsewhere. Jillian believes she knows where, but will only tell [[Ansom]] personally. They meet back at the siege train, and Jillian reveals her history to Ansom. She was popped as an [[heir]] to a [[Side]] named [[Faq]] by [[King Banhammer]]. Banhammer had been told that his bubble kingdom -- a kingdom essentially unapproachable except by air or tunnel -- would someday fall. Jillian believes she failed to meet his expectations by being a warrior instead of a philosopher. Since she had no real place in the idyllic little kingdom, she was sent to fight as a mercenary in distant lands with other Faq forces. One day, she received a [[Thinkagram]] that suggested [[dwagon]]s were over Faq, and the next day she was a [[barbarian]]. She continued the mercenary lifestyle while trying to learn who might have destroyed Faq. Eventually, she heard rumors about [[Stanley the Plaid]] and his dwagons. When she learned about Ansom's coalition, she thought it was an ideal situation -- she could work as a mercenary against the most likely culprit responsible for Faq's destruction, while learning more about the candidate.

[[Stanley|Stanley's]] uncharacteristic move with the [[dwagon]]s suggested to Jillian that Stanley was headed to restart his [[Side]] in [[Faq]]. With the knowledge of Faq in hand, Ansom suggested she get to the site of Faq ahead of Stanley and become Queen of her re-started side. Jillian had not even considered that, instead wanting to intercept Stanley and ambush him. Ansom arranges for [[Vinny]], the [[Archon]]s, and other air forces to accompany her to a location where she can meet up with additional forces from [[Transylvito]].

Jillian made a side trip into [[Gobwin Knob]], instead of going directly to [[Faq]]. She intended to use the lack of [[dwagon]] defenses to mount a "rescue" of [[Wanda]], whom Jillian believes is being forced to work for [[Stanley]]. Wanda declines, and the Archons reveal Wanda is under the effect of no mind-altering [[Spell]]s, but during this conversation Wanda interrupts by unleashing Gobwin Knob's Air defenses, killing several [[Unipegataur]]s and the Archon [[Jaclyn]]. Jillian flies off towards [[Faq]] with a diminished force.

[[Charlie]] is not paid, so the [[Archon]]s become free agents, leaving Jillian with just her [[gwiffon]]s, some [[orly|orlies]], [[Vinny]], and a few [[doombat]]s. The next day they meet up with the forces from [[Transylvito]]. [[Caesar Borgata]], the [[Chief Warlord]] of Transylvito, has brought nine other [[Warlord]]s and a few hundred [[doombat]]s. The forces set up with the doombats in line in front, commanded by Warlords, with Caesar providing a portion of his [[leadership]] bonus to all. Stanley arrives and attempts to punch through, throwing aside Caesar and his stack with the [[Arkenhammer|Arkenhammer's]] shocking powers. Jillian moves to intercept, discovering Stanley has brought the [[Foolamancer]] [[Jack Snipe]] with him. Jack's mind is restored when Jillian calls him by his real name, and Jack's awesome Foolamancy comes into play. He makes Jillian believe that she destroyed Stanley's dwagon, but instead flies off with Stanley towards the hex edge. Jillian spots a doombat stack in a suspicious position, with Vinny confirming it was not a Transylvito stack, and the pair correctly deduce that this is Stanley. It is, however, too late. They are unable to catch Stanley before he leaves the hex, headed back in the direction of [[Gobwin Knob]].

Jillian spends the remainder of the day with the forces of [[Transylvito]]. At dusk, around a bonfire, Jillian is informed by [[Vinny]] that [[Caesar Borgata|Caesar]] did not come here to fight [[Stanley]], since he didn't believe Stanley would come in this direction. Caesar came to check on the cities of [[Faq]], and to claim them for Transylvito if they existed. Jillian becomes angry, not because of the deception, but because she wants to finish off Stanley. Caesar approaches and informs Jillian and Vinny that the [[Battle for Gobwin Knob]] is finished, with all [[Royal Crown Coalition]] forces eliminated, including [[Ansom]]. Jillian, enraged, attacks Caesar, who easily stops the assault. Caesar threatened Jillian, but Vinny stepped in and took charge of the distraught Jillian. They appear to spend the night comforting each other while mourning Ansom.

Jillian was then taken, as a prisoner in all but name, back to [[Transylvito]] to an audience with [[Don King]], the [[royal]] ruler of Transylvito. There she was offered the resources to reestablish her former capital side, [[Faq]]. She reluctantly accepted this offer, but is slowly growing accustomed to the new role.

=Speculation=

It's possible that the natural [[Signamancy]] inherent in being the Queen of [[Faq]] will compel Jillian to become more interested in Faqian Philosophy.

Her suit on page 12 of book 2 seems to be rendered in a way similar to the Arkentools. Perhaps it is a tool itself?

Her suit is a reference to the time warp dance in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Between her and Wanda's clothes, we have a case of strong signamancy foreshadowing the following events.

==What does Jillian Really Want, and Why Doesn't She Know It?==

According to Jillian's cast page, one of her weaknesses is "Knowing what she wants". It's not uncommon for people in the [[Real World]] not to know what they want, but on [[Erfworld]], this is an extraordinarily unusual problem. Almost everyone on [[Erfworld]] knows exactly what they want, because they are [[pop]]ped to fulfill a particular role in life, and are bound by the constraints of [[Loyalty]], [[Obedience]] and [[Duty]]. So why doesn't Jillian know?

Jillian has deeply conflicting desires, because she was [[pop]]ped to fill a role that did not exist, and might never exist. She was created to be the Queen of a peaceful [[side]] devoted to philosophy, because that's what [[Faq]] was when she was created. But she was also created knowing that the Faq she was created to rule would soon cease to exist. This is why she was so frustrated in Faq. She wanted Faq, but she knew she couldn't have Faq. She channeled that frustration into her fascination with war. Every enemy she struck down was, for that instant, the foe who prevented her from living in peace as the ruler of Faq.

When Faq was destroyed, it was probably almost a relief for Jillian. Though she deeply hated the knowledge that Faq no longer existed, at least the Prediction had been fulfilled, and maybe, someday, she would be able to rebuild Faq. At least she no longer had to live in a Kingdom she knew was doomed. She threw herself even more completely into the role of a Mercenary, hoping she could, somehow, someday, gain the resources needed to rebuild Faq.

She was torn between a desire for companionship and the desire to be alone. She wanted to reach out to others who might help her rebuild Faq, yet she knew that those others had different goals and ambitions, that usually conflicted with the seemingly impossible goal of creating a peaceful bubble Kingdom. Of course she told no one else about Faq during this period, because if any other side had occupied Faq's cities, her task of rebuilding Faq would become vastly harder.

When she learned about Stanley, she hated him like she'd hated no one else in her entire life. This was the man who had taken Faq from her. The fact that he must also know about the location of Faq made him an intolerable risk to Jillian. What if he claimed Faq's cities before she could? He had to die. So she joined the alliance against Gobwin Knob, and in time was torn between the two people she'd come to love, [[Ansom]] and [[Wanda]]. Jillian was deeply attracted to both of these seemingly very different people, but she had trouble deciding between them. Her ambivalent relationships with both reflected an subconscious uncertainty about which of the two would be more useful to her in rebuilding [[Faq]].

It was only when she knew that [[Stanley]] was about to try and take
the site of [[Faq]]'s cities that she revealed who she really was to [[Ansom]]. She probably felt great ambivalence when Ansom suggested she might become the Queen of Faq again, because she knew that the Faq he had in mind was not the philisophical Kingdom of her most secret dreams.
But the important thing right now was stopping Stanley.

With some help from [[Caesar]] and [[Transylvito]], Jillian was able to prevent [[Stanley]] from reaching [[Faq]].But then, she learned that [[Caesar]] planned to claim [[Faq]]'s cities. Her momentary loss of control, and attempt to kill [[Caesar]], was the result of hearing this horrible news at the same time she heard that [[Ansom]] had been [[croaked]].

Being offered the resources needed to rebuild [[Faq]] by [[Don King]] was in a way both the best and the worst thing that ever happened to Jillian. It meant she had finally become Queen Of Faq, but it also meant that she and Faq were caught in a network of alliances that makes it impossible for [[Faq]] to be the sort of philosophical Kingdom it once was. And so Jillian continues to feel great ambivalence, and uncertainly about exactly what it is she wants.

==Trivia==
*Her name may be a pun on "Jillions of muscles", a epithet suitable for a person relying on brute force and violence to solve problems.

*Her familiarity with and relation to Jack Snipe may be a reference to "Jack and Jill."

*The name Jillian, in combination with the fact that she is a [[barbarian]], may be a reference to the actress formerly known as Jillian Barberie, now [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jillian_Reynolds Jillian Reynolds].

*Jillian's outfit in Book 2 - Page 12 is very similiar to Columbia's first costume in Rocky Horror Picture Show, a tie in to Wanda's outfit for Book 2.

{{Office Holder
| Office=[[Ruler]] of [[Faq]]
| Previous=[[King Banhammer]]
| Next=''None, incumbent''
}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Warlord]]
[[Category:Proposed Canon]]
[[Category:Speculation]]
[[Category:Real World References]]

Brangelina

2012-12-02T14:11:31Z

76.118.180.34: /* Proposed Canon */

==Proposed Canon==

Brangelina is a capital side that existed at the same time as the original kingdom of [[Faq]]. In IPTSF Text 32, Jillian describes it as 'shaky' and considers it a possible target for conquest when the predicted fall of [[Faq]] occurs.

Heavy Unit

2012-11-28T03:37:20Z

76.118.180.34: /* Possible Heavy Units */

=Proposed Canon=

Heavy units are a [[Class]] of [[unit]] that have the "Heavy" [[Unit#Natural Abilities|natural ability]]. Most of those seen thus far are considered the most powerful non-[[Commander]] units; presumably, since the only known Heavy 'abilities' are [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerf_(computer_gaming) nerfs], the unit receives compensatory [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buff_(computer_gaming) buffs] that make it extremely useful in situations where their nerfs do not apply. Most heavy units are restricted from entering [[Tunnels]], for example, and can't ride [[Mount]]s. (Specifically, they can climb aboard, but the mount cannot bear them and move normally.)

Heavy units may spontaneously pop in [[Ruins]].

==Known Heavy Units==

*[[Dwagon]]s
*[[Gump]]s
*[[Twoll]]s
*[[Sourmander]]s
*[[Tchotchke]]s
*Cloth [[Golem]]s
**[[Battle Bear]]s
*[[Hobgobwin]]s, Parson promotes them to heavy units in [[LIAB 48]]
*[[Holla]]s
*[[Giant]]s
*[[Gwiffon]]s[[IPTSF Text 27]]
*[[Megalogwiffs]]
*[[Parson]]
*[[Spidew]]s {{blog|2009|06|summer-updates-002}}

=Speculation=

Heavy Units may be unable to enter many terrain types besides Tunnels which could vary from unit to unit. Apparently, most heavies cannot enter tunnels, however Sourmanders, Tchotchkes and Spidews are exempt from this for example. It is possible that heavy is a classification with sub-classifications such as "Heavy (Tunnel faring)" or "Heavy (Small)" for example. Or that "Tunnel faring" is a separate special which can be stacked with the "Heavy" special undoing the nerf.{{erf|1|098a|Tunnels - light units only, some exceptions}}, {{blog|2009|06|summer-updates-002}}

==Possible Heavy Units==

*Dirtamantic [[Golem]]s
*[[Unipegataur]]s
*[[Brontosword]]s
*[[Pokedaemon]]s
*[[Fruit brute]]s

[[Category:Unit]]
[[Category:Proposed Canon]]
[[Category:Speculation]]

Buttress

2012-11-28T03:35:32Z

76.118.180.34: /* Real World References */

=Speculation=

Buttresses are [[Flying unit|flying]] [[mount]]s in service to [[Frenemy]]. Their appearance and abilities are yet unknown, although at least some of Buttresses are "fat".[[IPTSF Text 19]]

Buttresses seem to be formidable [[unit]]s, since Frenemy uses them as mounts for some of their [[warlord]]s. At least two Buttresses were part of the flying force of Frenemy and [[Quisling]] units that invaded the [[airspace]] of the [[City]] of [[Goodminton]]. Both were shot down - along with their mounted warlords - by [[Delphie]] using [[air defense]] [[spell]]s of [[Minnow Tower]].[[IPTSF Text 20]]

=Real World References=
The name of this unit may refer to the [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_buttress flying buttress] - an element of Gothic church architecture. Also a pun on butt rest.

[[Category:Unit]]
[[Category:Flying Unit]]
[[Category:Mount]]
[[Category:Speculation]]
[[Category:Real World References]]

Pedobear

2012-11-28T03:33:31Z

76.118.180.34: /* Speculation */

{{ImageStackRight|260|
{{crop|440|166|607|495|IPTSF Text 47.jpg}}
}}

=Proposed Canon=
'''First Mentioned:''' [[IPTSF Text 3]]

'''First Appearance:''' [[IPTSF Text 47]]

Pedobears are a type of [[unit]] in service to [[Goodminton]]. It is described as "foul-tempered" and mentioned as one of the "vicious war beasts in iron chains or in cages" together with [[pokedaemon]]s and a [[fruit brute]].[[IPTSF Text 3]]

It is a small bear that wears a clown-hat and rides a miniature Penny Farthing into battle. It is described as having "an unsettling expression of infinite, pitiless evil,"[[IPTSF Text 47]] and its fighting style as "fast, vicious and dirty". The bicycle is considered a [[mount]].[[IPTSF Text 48]]

Its method of attack is to maneuver behind the enemy, and then stab them with its hat.[[IPTSF Text 48]]

=Speculation=

=Real World References=
Pedobear is a reference to [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedobear an Internet meme] of the same name.

[[Category:Unit]]
[[Category:Proposed Canon]]
[[Category:Speculation]]
[[Category:Real World References]]

ErfWiki - User contributions [en]

Jillian Zamussels

Brangelina

Heavy Unit

Buttress

Pedobear