Talk:Parson Gotti

2009-06-22T19:15:57Z

99.250.113.130: /* Garrison? */

== Who controls Parson? ==

I've seen some debate over who actually Parson most obey, Wanda or Stanley. I haven't seen this comic mentioned before but in the last panel of http://www.erfworld.com/book-1-archive/?px=%2F020.jpg it looks like Wanda is issuing a command that P. should use Tool, not Lord. What do you think of that?

-Nope. Wanda's comment "you'll only use that word again," is a response to Parson's question, not a command. She means, "If I tell you how bad it is, you'll only swear ("use that word," boop) again."

==Disbanding==
I removed a sentence that someone added suggesting that Parson was disbanded without being "removed from the world". Sorry, man, but we do '''not''' know the effect of Disbanding. We do know that there is a Barbarian state. Disbanding may be a process whereby a unit becomes a barbarian. But that it disappears? Disbanding in our world merely means leaving the group you're in and wandering off home, '''not''' death. We do know that units are required to run farms, so disbanding to leave the military can mean the unit stops being military and becomes rural. We just do not know what the term means, and so using the term must be open enough to cover all possible definitions. 
--[[User:Kreistor|Kreistor]] 14:01, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
:We don't know for sure, but it doesn't seem to me that Sizemore would be all that alarmed about being disbanded (if they crossed Stanley's path after he told them to get out of his sight) if it just meant becoming a barbarian. [[User:SteveMB|SteveMB]] 15:05, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
::A barbarian without money to provide upkeep? Being a barbarian is ''not'' easy. Parson, as a barbarian, may die from starvation fairly quickly. In teh MK, they've got friends that may help them out, but that's not for Parson, as we saw. I'm not saying that being a barbarian is easy: it's hard, and a lot harder if you lack any units to support you, and have no reputation you can use to gain mercenary employment. Further, he'd be an unallied unit, in the midst of thousands of unled troops. Auto-attack rules come into effect -- he will die if disbanded inside GK, but not from the effect of disbanding, but from basic sword thrusts. --[[User:Kreistor|Kreistor]] 16:19, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
:::I don't think either Sizemore or Parson would have any trouble quickly striking an alliance or turning to a side if they went barbarian. Also, as noted above, Sizemore could probably just go to the MK (if he could make it to a portal... not sure how that would go). Sizemore definitely seemed in fear for their lives, and Parson surmizes in a Klog that Stanley has the ability to essentially kill him with a thought. Together, this seems to me enough evidence to guess that Disbanding is equivalent to death (or at least appears that way to the denizens of Erfworld), though we don't know the exact mechanics of how it works. [[User:Commander I. Heartly Noah|Commander I. Heartly Noah]] June 10 2009, 17:51 (UTC)

== Why, exactly... ==

Why exactly is there a book 1 plot summary on Parson's character page? Seems really out of place.
--[[User:Jerichothebard|Jerichothebard]] 21:58, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

==Garrison?==

Removed "Garrison" from Parson's special abilities. Though he has not left the city yet, there is no reason to assume now that he can't. I would be much surprised if any Warlord could be a Garrison unit. [[User:Commander I. Heartly Noah|Commander I. Heartly Noah]] June 22, 2009, 17:59:47 (UTC)

He has difficulty moving around one hex, it's unlikely he can get to another. Plus, given all of his similarities to Bogroll, it seems likely that the unit type he is, is more likely not to go off around the world when he's controlling everything from the capitol. I think he should be considered garrison until proven in the story otherwise. - [[Special:Contributions/99.250.113.130|99.250.113.130]] 19:15, 22 June 2009 (UTC)

Parson Gotti

2009-06-22T19:14:25Z

99.250.113.130: Parson seems unable to leave Gobwin Knob. He has difficulty just moving around one hex, so it seems unlikely he can move out of hex. Like a garrison unit.

{{ImageStackRight|240|
[[File:Parson.png|center]]
{{Stats
|name= Parson Gotti
|race=
|faction= [[Gobwin Knob]]
|tribe=
|class= [[Warlord]]
|level= 2
|move=
|hits=
|combat=
|defense=
|special= [[Leadership]], Special, Garrison
|eyebook= LordHamster
|booksound= Eep?
}}
}}

==Canon==
Parson A. Gotti, (born December 7, 1982 in Indianapolis, Indiana), A.K.A. Lord Hamster, is a human gamer, and author of the webcomic [http://hamstard.com/ Hamstard]. Originally from Earth, he was summoned to [[Erfworld]] by [[Wanda Firebaugh]], and appointed [[Chief Warlord]] under [[Stanley the Tool]] of [[Gobwin Knob]].

==Plot==
When first seen, Parson is going through a normal day.{{erf|1|014}} Later that evening he discusses [[Gwiffon|marshmallow peeps]] and [[marbit]]s with [[Ross]].{{erf|1|015}} After the arrival of three other friends -- [[Ashna]], [[Carl]], and [[Takashi]] -- Parson introduces them to his latest game.{{erf|1|016}} As he does so, he is transported to [[Gobwin Knob]], which bears a strong resemblance to the game board he had created.{{erf|1|024}} 
 
Upon arrival, Parson is greeted by [[Stanley the Plaid]] and [[Wanda]], quickly discovering Erfworld's [[Boop|built-in censorship]] prevents him from cursing. Parson is interviewed by Stanley, who wants to determine his competence. During this conversation, Parson discovers he can lie by telling Stanley that calling someone a Tool is a form of respect, and Staney likes it so much, he orders everyone to use that title. Stanley then shows him around [[Gobwin Knob]], his [[capital]] [[city]]. Parson is ordered to laugh at Stanley's jokes, and discovers the order cannot be disobeyed, but it can be manipulated by laughing inappropriately, which inspires Stanely to end that order. Parson also learns that Stanley might be able to kill him at whim thanks to the spell that [[Summon Perfect Warlord Spell|summoned]] him. During the tour, Parson realizes that he has joined a [[Side]] that most would consider evil, and says as much. Stanley's anger is raised, and he demonstrates his power while explaining his destiny. Parson is ordered not to speak until ordered otherwise. He is also given an important piece of equipment, his [[Eyebook]]. With this, he merely thinks what he wants to write and it appears on the page, and moments later discovers that it connects to Eyebooks held by other inhabitants of the city. [[Sizemore]] comes to Parson's rescue that evening, helping him learn a lot about the "rules" of Erfworld, and ordering him to speak -- Stanley's order had not indicated only he could break the silence. Parson's lackey, [[Bogroll]], provides him with a metal breastplate for armor, and helps him get to bed. 
 
The next morning, Parson appears before [[Stanley]] and their [[ration]]s [[pop]]. On the side of the [[Stupid Meal]], Parson learns a rule about the [[combat]] [[Erfworld Mechanics|mechanics]] of [[Erfworld]], but it is something that all natives know. This stuns Stanley, and makes him worry that Parson is incompetent. [[Wanda]] shows up and is told about this, and a mistake the Tool had just made. Parson defends himself, and Wanda comes to his rescue by presenting new knowledge -- [[Prince Ansom]]'s entire battle plan for the upcoming invasion. The details of the spell that affects [[Jillian]], Wanda's quasi-unwitting spy, gives Parson the idea for setting a trap for Ansom. Since Jillian can only move on her captor's [[turn]], he suggests placing her a long way from [[Ansom]], expecting him to come to her rescue and having to stay there until the next day, when a large force of [[dwagon]]s would destroy him. This plan fails when Count [[Vinny Doombats]], Ansom's closest aide, convinces him to send someone else -- [[Sir Webinar]], some other [[Jetstone]] forces, and [[Charlescomm]] mercenary [[Archon]]s. Parson becomes frustrated that he was not informed of a potential ally -- [[Charlie]] of [[Charlescomm]] -- but Wanda indicates that Charlie is hated by Stanley, so it could never have worked. Charlie bears many similarities to Stanley -- [[Overlord]], [[Arkentool]], non-[[Royal]] -- which may explain the dislike. Parson is taken to the library to study, intending to pull an all-nighter. 
 
When Parson does have an idea, he proceeds back to the [[Situation Room]] where the [[Eyemancer Table]] stays, and finds the controller, [[Misty]]. He asks her many questions, and though she kills half of his plan, she stays to help Parson. In the morning, Parson is lambasted by Wanda for involving Misty personally, and learns the the Table is a unique artifact that only Stanley possesses. He has had a [[Thinkamancer]] ([[Maggie]]) link Misty the [[Lookamancer]] with their [[Foolamancer]] ([[Jack]]) to create the Table, Eyebooks, and other powerful magics, but the link is dangerous to the participants because they lose their individuality. Trying to talk to one by name could break the [[spell]], potentially [[croaking]] the [[caster]]s. Parson realizes this assists his plan, since [[Ansom]] can't see hidden [[hex]]es. Wanda gives Parson time to implement his plan by distracting Stanley sexually, while Parson puts the [[dwagon]]s and their [[uncroaked]] [[warlord]]s to work. Dwagons invade the [[Royal Crown Coalition]] column, destroying only [[siege engine]]s and withdrawing. He then places the spent dwagons over a nearby lake, and surrounds a forest hex with a circle of fresh dwagons. [[RCC]] [[flying unit]]s are all with [[Jillian]], so too far to really help. This is intended to entice Ansom into thinking the wounded dwagons are inside the circle. 
 
At this point, [[Stanley]] arrives and asks what they were going to do this [[turn]], and discovers Parson had already moved. Initially, he is happy with the plan and when [[Ansom]] begins [[turn]], all goes well. He discovers the [[dwagon]] trap and tries to break inside, discovering the [[hex]] is empty. He is too short of [[Move]] to get back to his lines except by smashing through a heavily defended hex. Ansom decides to send [[Jillian]] out to hunt the wounded [[dwagon]]s, instead of calling her to help him punch out of the trap. She does find the dwagons, and becomes conflicted -- the [[Suggestion Spell]] cast by [[Wanda]] is trying to stop her from attacking them, while she wants to attack them, both out of [[loyalty]] to Ansom and her own violent tendencies. She attacks, and Ansom comes to help the fight, leaving the [[forest]] [[unit]]s inside the trap. They annihilate the dwagons and expect to be attacked in the morning. Stanley is enraged by the loss of so many of his beloved dwagons, and orders Parson, [[Sizemore]], and Wanda out of his sight. He orders the [[Eyemancy|Eyemancer]]s to break their link, and takes the [[Foolamancer]] with him. [[Wanda]] was mentally damaged by the breaking of her [[spell]], becoming almost catatonic, so she is escorted to her room by the other two. 
 
Parson wants to try to convince [[Stanley]] not to abandon them in the morning, but he awakens after Stanley, and finds Stanley already choosing three [[hobgobwin]] [[Knights in Stanley's Service]] to accompany him, and they leave. Stanley has also prevented Parson from doing anything significant this [[turn]] by ordering all troops back to [[Gobwin Knob]] and taking all the [[dwagon]]s with him. Parson settles in to lick his wounds and prepare the defense of the [[city]]. Parson first discovers [[Misty]] is dead from the broken link. He also learns the history of [[Stanley the Tool]], how he rose to power from basic [[infantry]]. Stanley was initially promoted to [[Warlord]], found the[[Arkenhammer]], used that and the [[dwagon]]s he could now tame to win battles, becoming [[Chief Warlord]], and finally [[Heir]] Designate. Stanley then took a number of [[caster]]s on a "special mission", while their [[gobwin]] allies broke [[alliance]] and attacked [[Gobwin Knob]], executing [[King Saline IV]], making Stanley the new [[Overlord]]. He then retook the [[city]] easily with his dwagons and [[Arkentool]]. Parson also finds [[Maggie]], the [[Thinkamancer]], is perfectly fine. He correctly determines that she intentionally caused the breaking of the link to redirect damage intended for her back towards the other two [[caster]]s, killing [[Misty]] and crippling the [[Foolamancer]]. 
 
Meanwhile, [[Jillian]] has determined that [[Stanley]] is headed for her old kingdom of [[Faq]], a place that was nearly inaccessible. [[Ansom]] creates a plan that will cut [[Stanley]] off and hopefully [[croak]] him. He has [[Vinny]] and Jillian take all of their [[flying unit|air forces]] to a choke point in the mountains, where they will be met by more forces from [[Transylvito]]. [[Marbit]]s from the [[RCC]] reach [[Gobwin Knob]] and enter the [[Tunnels]], beginning the invasion of the [[city]]. 
 
In the morning, Parson orders [[Sizemore]] to crush one of the advance [[scout]]ing stacks in the [[Tunnels]], in order to suggest that he has placed strong defenses there. [[Parson]] next tries to break up the Coalition by convincing [[Charlie]] to change [[Side]]s. Charlie declines, but his interest in Parson is piqued. From now on, Charlie will try to find ways to get Parson to join his side, willingly or not. Parson then decides to use his [[Thinkamancer]]'s limited [[juice]] to throw [[Ansom]] into a tizzy, by poking at the conviction of his superiority. [[Ansom]] becomes enraged, ranting, but before Parson can deliver his masterstroke, [[Stanley]] interrupts. The insanity of his [[Foolamancer]] is making him useless, and Stanley was hoping [[Maggie]] knew a way to heal him, but she does not. She does theorize that calling him by his true name will help; however neither she nor Stanley know it. Stanley is expecting trouble getting to [[Faq]], and without the Foolamancer, he suspects he won't make it. 
 
[[Jillian]] and [[Vinny]] proceed with the plan, but make a stop at [[Gobwin Knob]] in order to try to capture [[Wanda]]; instead, Jillian learns that Wanda is allied with Stanley by choice, not force, and watches as the air defenses of the city smashes a significant portion of her contingent. Jillian heads towards [[Faq]] defeated. Meanwhile [[Webinar]] and [[Dora]] take [[Jetstone]] [[troops]] into the [[Tunnels]]. 
 
In the evening, Parson realizes that [[Wanda]] is intending to abandon the city and rescue [[Stanley]] from the trap. He stops her by revealing that he has made a deal with [[Charlie]], where the mercenary will make his price tag to [[Transylvito]] too expensive, and remain neutral the next [[Turn]], weakening the trap enough to allow [[Stanley]] to survive. 
 
The next morning, [[Jillian]] and company hook up with [[Transylvito]]'s [[Chief Warlord]], eight additional [[Warlord]]s, and hundreds of [[doombat]]s. They set the trap for Stanley. [[Charlie]] does as advertised, and invades [[Gobwin Knob]]'s [[Airspace]] with thirty or more [[Archon]]s, theoretically enough to capture the [[city]]. Parson convinces him to sit back and wait, by telling him that his chances of holding the city is significant. Charlie, interested in seeing the abilities of someone he wants recruit, holds off to watch the fight. 
 
[[Stanley]] slams into the trap, and tries to fight his way through. In the midst of the battle, [[Jillian]] calls the [[Foolamancer]] by name, [[Jack]], and breaks his madness. Jack, in turn, uses his [[Foolamancy]] to save Stanley. With only six [[dwagon]]s and a single [[Knights In Stanley's Service|Knight]], they retreat back in the direction of [[Gobwin Knob]]. 
 
[[Sizemore]] engages the [[RCC]] forces in the [[Tunnels]], killing their [[leadership]] and eventually the entire expedition force. [[Wanda]] [[uncroaked|uncroaks]] the entire [[Jetstone]] compliment, placing them on the [[Outer Walls]] to defend against a potential [[RCC]] attack. The presence of former friends enrages [[Ansom]], and he orders the [[RCC]] to begin the attack immediately. [[Ansom]] begins the attack personally, turning former [[Jetstone]] [[troops]] to dust, but [[Wanda]] takes her [[flying unit|air forces]] and crosses [[Archon]] held territory to dismount [[Ansom]] and separate him from the [[Arkenpliers]]. Wanda chased the pliers while she sent her air forces after [[Ansom]], but Ansom allies with [[Charlescomm]]. [[Archon]]s enter the battle, cutting down [[Wanda]] and her contingent. Ansom approaches [[Wanda]] with intent to destroy, but Wanda appears to want to be touched by the Arkenpliers, so he retreats instead, and [[Sizemore]] arrives to take her away. Using [[scroll]]s from Wanda's secret stash, she is healed. The Outer Walls are breached, so Parson pull his forces back to the [[garrison]] walls. There he sets up Wanda with her uncroaked to form a defensive line with as high a bonus as possible, including his own presence and [[Dance-Fighting]]. This does not last long, as he discovers that the [[Archon]]s above can instruct normal troops in dance-fighting through an effect similar to the game Dance Dance Revolution. Parson falls back into the dungeon, collapsing the garrison on top of the invaders. Unfortunately, not enough were killed. The [[Royal Crown Coalition|RCC]] is swarming the remaining defenders, and Parson pulls back again to the Portal room, so that at least the [[caster]]s can retreat to the [[Magic Kingdom]] and become [[barbarian]]s instead of being forced to join RCC [[Side]]s. When all looks lost, Parson tells the [[caster]]s they can retreat through the portal, but they do not go, realizing it was not an order. Parson is forced to reveal his final plan -- link the [[Dirtamancer]] and [[Croakamancer]] and awaken the volcano. This is done, and Parson orders them out of the [[city]]. As the city collapses around him, Parson runs into the Portal himself, hoping it would return him to Earth. The RCC is engulfed in a massive volcanic eruption. 
 
Parson finds himself in the [[Magic Kingdom]]. He is not accepted, however, and is knocked unconscious while the [[caster]]s find [[Thinkamancer]]s to undo the link joining [[Maggie]], [[Wanda]], and [[Sizemore]]. Later, he awakens and is taken back through the portal to [[Gobwin Knob]]. There he finds that Sizemore has already crossed through, and found that a bit of his handiwork had succeeded. Deep in the mountain were unmined [[gem]]s, which Sizemore tried to uncover with the volcanic eruption. [[Wanda]] begins searching and finds the [[Arkenpliers]], attuning immediately. She discovers [[Ansom]]'s corpse and [[uncroaked|uncroaks]] it, discovering that the pliers have enhanced her [[Croakamancy]]. She calls the new [[Ansom]] [[decrypt]]ed: he is intelligent, retains much of his former memory, all of his abilities, and appears like a living creature, but his mind is now aligned with the goals of [[Gobwin Knob]]. Wanda continues and begins creating an army to replace the one previously lost. 
 
Parson reveals to [[Maggie]] that he almost ordered the link broken and for her to take the full backlash of the broken spell. She does not disagree that maybe she deserved it. He has become worried about the effect of [[Natural Thinkamancy]] on his decision making, and Maggie informs him that some part of him wanted to cause all the damage that he did. Parson wanders off and finds a lava flow. There he talks to whatever force brought him to [[Erfworld]]. He asks whether he did this deed, or if it was [[Erfworld]] itself. He gets no answers. He takes out his sword, which confers upon him ruthlessness, and flings it into the lava, where it melts. Parson insists that he is not a game piece, but a player. The [[Battle for Gobwin Knob]] is over. 

==Inventory==
*[[3D_Glasses|3D Glasses]]
*[[Mathamancy_Bracer|Mathamancy Bracer]]
*[[Parson's_Sword|Parson's Sword]] (destroyed)

==Speculation==
Parson was able to pass through the portal to the [[Magic Kingdom]], something that as a Warlord should have resulted in his immediate disbanding. Once there he is identified as a [[Hippiemancer]] by a Grand Abbie. Whether this suggests he has additional abilities he is unaware of, reflects his unique and anomalous properties in Erfworld, was a lie by the Grand Abbie used to defuse a tense situation, or something else entirely remains to be seen. 
 
At the end of {{Erf|1|150}}, [[Parson]] has destroyed his sword and successfully cursed. This could indicate many possibilities including: 
:1. He is no longer subject to the effects of the [[Summon Perfect Warlord Spell|Summon Spell]] (or at least the [[Thinkamancy|Thinkamantic]] portions of it). 
:2. He was disbanded, but continues to serve [[Stanley]] willingly. (See discussion.) 
:3. [[Erfworld]] has rewarded him for services rendered. 
:4. He can use willpower to fight [[Natural Thinkamancy]]. 
:5. He can now curse
 
Having presided over the destruction of the entire alliance army, he's probably leveled since we saw him at 2. Bogroll levelled twice while dying, so it seems likely Parson leveled several times. - Except that his Leadership hasn't improved, and there's no other evidence of improvement.

==Trivia==
*Parson is named after his grandfather: whether this is his maternal or paternal grandfather is unknown.

*"Parson Gotti" is an anagram of "protagonist".

{{Office Holder
| Office=[[Chief Warlord]] of [[Gobwin Knob]]
| Previous=[[Manpower the Temporary]]
| Next=''None''
}}

[[Category:Characters]]
[[Category:Warlord]]
[[Category:Canon]]
[[Category:Speculation]]

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Parson Gotti