Summon Perfect Warlord Spell

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Proposed Canon

The Summon Perfect Warlord Spell is what summoned Parson Gotti to Erfworld. Wanda informed Stanley that it was a combined Findamancy/Predictamancy spell, although she later described it to Jillian as a Findamancy/Lookamancy spellErf-b1-p036Same-site.PNG.

The original Spell package, including both spell and casting, cost 500,000 shmuckers. Stanley, finding that the spell alone would cost 350,000 shmuckers, decided to disregard the support plan consisting of a Findamancer casting worth 150,000 shmuckers; he instead ordered Wanda Firebaugh to cast the spell.Erf-b1-p013Same-site.PNG

It was cast by Wanda Firebaugh with interference by Stanley the PlaidErf-b1-p017Same-site.PNG.

It has been later revealed LIAB Text 37 that this spell was part of the Hippiemancers' and Predictamancers' plot to end the perpetual state of war on Erf. It was also mentioned that it included several Thinkamancers and Predictamancers, in addition to a Findamancer and Lookamancer. Whether this means the casters were merely present or somehow managed to put themselves in a massive link with more than three participants is unclear.

Speculation

The majority of qualities that Stanley demanded for his Perfect Warlord may have been received:

  • Big - Parson is large compared to ErfWorlders.
  • Powerful - Due to his size, Parson is capable of carrying much larger and heavier things than native men. This might also have been added through the "Combat" in the sword, which has been destroyed.
  • Dashing - Energetic/spirited; Parson gets like that when he's winning.
  • Handsome - Wanda may have an odd sense of what is good-looking, or bypasses the "dashing" and "handsome" requirements when Stanley asks to "just make him big".
  • Heroic - May have been added through the "Ruthlessness" quality of the sword. He is willing to risk his own presence on the battlefield at the most vital junctures at the end where he was needed. He stands up to Erfworld itself at the end of the Battle for Gobwin Knob, declaring his opposition to what just occurred. He still has the tendency to put himself on the battlefield (not going to put others where he won't go), so this may be an innate trait.
  • Inspiring - May have been added via the "Leadership" quality of his sword.
  • Perfect military mind - Enhanced by the Mathamancy Bracer, if not already present.
  • Strategic genius - Erfworlders are traditionalists. Parson's novel strategies tend to succeed against native Erfworld warlords due to his knowledge of (and enthusiasm for) less traditional warfare.
  • Strategic genius and/or Natural Signamancer - Erfworlders are traditionalists. Parson sees the world in a way they never will due to how he views the world as a warlord and a natural signamancer.
    See Parson being a Signamancer.
  • Obsessed with war - Considers the military uses of everything he sees.
  • Plans wars and kills his foes for fun
  • Eats marbits and gwiffons - Marbits are marshmallow bits in breakfast cereal. Gwiffons are shaped like peeps.Erf-b1-p017Same-site.PNG

Looks like they got what they paid for.

Compensating

The spell's results were more than unusual. After pulling Parson, the spell created a number of magical items on the following days to equip him and transform him into the true Perfect Warlord:

  • A pair of 3D Glasses that gives him the Erfworlder's natural ability to see other units' stats;
  • A strange bracer that attaches to his calculator watch, allowing computation of combat probabilities;
  • And finally, a three-piece sword, with the enchantments of "Leadership", "Combat ability" and "Ruthlessness".

Trivia

The spell caused the casting chamber to resemble that of the Master Program from Tron.

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