Fanfiction - A Hamster for your Thoughts

This was originally published on the forums, but resubmitted by the author "No One In Particular." While I'm not sure I want to encourage a ton of shipping and slash stories, this one was cute and fun. 25 Shmuckers awarded! 



Maggie closed the door behind her. It had been a long walk from the Tower and the Caster's quarters, but her Warlord (the Perfect Warlord!) had tickled her mind with a request to come discuss a few things, and who was she to say no? Didn't Duty, to her Side, to the Great Minds, demand that she do everything she could to make sure that their greatest weapon was fully prepared for the battles to come? A stroll through the Capital and intelligent conversation late into the night were a small enough price.


Besides, the Caster's quarters had been feeling unbearably stuffy when the call had come. Sizemore was moping again, Jack was teasing Wanda, and Wanda was... Wanda. Some fresh air was just what Maggie had needed.


Still, it had been a quite long walk, and she was feeling a bit flushed now that she was in his residence. Her Warlord was already setting up for her one of those folding chairs he'd devised... he was always so considerate. Even with everything in his house built to the scale of a twoll, he did his best not to loom.


"So, uh... Maggie. Thanks for coming over."


As she settled in her seat and smoothed her skirt, Maggie smiled (not that she'd ever let it show on her face). Always so polite, so... grateful! He was a warlord, chief or not, and a powerful unit; anything he wanted, he could take by Order or by his own strong hand. And yet he asked, said 'please' and 'thank you'. "It is my pleasure, Lord. What did you wish to see me for?"


At this, Lord Hamster seemed to grow uneasy, taking a long time to answer and looking at everything in the room except her. At first Maggie thought it was just the firelight coloring his face, but she suddenly realized... he was blushing! Maggie decided to enjoy the show and let him go on hemming and hawing for a bit longer, when he finally said something that completely surprised her.


"I want you, Maggie! I need you so badly, but I'm so afraid of hurting you! Not because you're valuable to the side, but because I care for you. You're smart, and not crazy, and... and..." and here he faltered, her Perfect Warlord losing confidence in the middle of his charge. Maggie could only stare silently up at him, as he fidgeted and stared into the fire.


As she gazed at his profile, Maggie asked with a carefully controlled voice, "I... see, Lord. And... what would you have me do?"


"I don't know! It's burning me up... every time I see you, the flame in me gets closer to Inferno! I don't know what'll happen when it goes out of control! What can I do, Maggie? Do you have any ideas? Help me!"


Maggie picked up her bag and played with the clasp, her eyes carefully cast downward. "May I... give you a Suggestion, Lord?"


"Of course! Anything!"




Maggie stood before Lord Hamster as the glitter faded and glazed look crept over his face. She leaned in close to his ear and nibbled it before murmuring, "Be gentle at first... I'll let you know when I've had–




Maggie slammed shut the book she'd been writing in and whirled to face the door to her chambers.


"W-WHAT?! I mean, yes, what is it?" she stammered before finding her voice again.


Parson paused before called out from the other side of the door. "... uh, our Turn's starting, and I was wondering if you wanted to go on rounds with me."


Maggie quickly composed herself. "Certainly, Lord. Just give me a moment to get ready."


Only after she'd locked her journal in the polarized-Stuff safe she'd had specially made (that had set her back more than a few Rands in the Magic Kingdom!) did she feel safe enough to face her... sigh... Perfect Warlord.

original link


  • Lerianis

    Dang! Just a figment of Maggie's imagination or something she would actually like to happen?

    Great story and great surprise that it was all a fantasy of Maggie's.

  • Squall83

    Ew. Maggie looks like she could be his Grandmother. Why them? >_< That made me think of an oglaf-strip:

    The link is NSFW, but since oglaf was in the official Erfworld plug (which is how I got to know that comic) I believe it's allowed to post that stuff.

  • Thecommander236

    How very cute... and slightly creepy, but mostly cute. I wouldn't mind such a thing occurring. Signamancy could make Maggie look younger and she is starting to move in that direction. Besides, in terms of Earth years, Maggie is probably not older than Parson's or, at least, not by much.