The Hundredth King

Scripture tells us that the Titans created the 99 kings and queens and gave them the divine mandate to rule Erfworld.


But the truth is that there was a hundredth king. His name was King Allen the First, and he ruled the lands of Bor from the machine city of Binford. The Titans had entrusted King Allen with a special duty, for Binford stood over a sealed vault. In that vault, the Titans had stored their tools for the time when they would return and fix everything that was broken in Erfworld. The king took his duty seriously, for he was a devout royal who would follow the Titan's mandate, and he was widely known as a wise and just ruler.


However, the lands of Bor came under attack from one of its neighbors and the king lost his cities, one by one, to the brutal aggressor. When only the city of Binford was left, the king's son, Will, took the last remaining forces of Bor and rode out to meet the enemy in one final desperate defense. The king sat in his throne room and he could feel his forces croak. When the final and brightest light in his ruler senses winked out, the king despaired for he knew that he would never again see the face of his son.


And so the king walked to the sealed doors of the Vault of the Titans. His steward, tasked with guarding the doors, stood there and the king commanded him to step aside.
"We need to open the vault," he declared. "The enemy is at our doors. We need more power, and only the divine tools can provide it! Let me through so I can take revenge for my son!"
But the steward only replied: "I don't think so, king."


And so, mad with grief, King Allen the First raised his scepter and struck the steward down.


When the enemy host arrived to lay siege to Binford, they found King Allen standing in front of the gates, decked in the artifacts he had taken from the vault.


"You who have destroyed my kingdom and croaked my son," he shouted, and they could hear his voice in their minds as well as their ears. "The city of Binford presents the wrath of the titans! It is Tool Time!"


The king attacked, and the power of the tools was such that no one could harm him. He destroyed every enemy unit that had come to his gate. Then, that same turn, he walked to the capital of the enemy side and croaked their king and all his heirs, ending that side forever and razing the capital to the ground.


Standing on the ruins of what had been one of the hundred sides, he screamed to the sky:
"I wield your power, Titans. I will rule in your place and impose your will, until the day that you return! This is surely what you meant to be when you left the tools in my care! I will taylor Erfworld into the place it should be!"


But in front of the king a hole appeared in the air. Through the hole the king could see a wall, and someone behind the wall whose face he could not see.

"I speak to you from the City of Heroes, father," the person said, and King Allen recognized the voice of his son Will.
"Would you be a tyrant, father? Would you impose your will on the other kings, who rule with divine mandate? Is that what I croaked for, that you become a worse ruler than the one who attacked us? You were wise and just, and beloved by your subjects. Is all of that to change?"


The king stood there, struck to the mark by the words of his son. Then he fell to his knees and wept. "You're right, my son. Already I have sinned, for I haved used the Titans tools to destroy what the Titans have created. I shall be gone until they return and make me answer for my deeds."


And so, king Allen the First, the hundredth king, ruler of the Lands of Bor and the City of Binford, used the power of all the tools combined and retconjured himself out of existence. The tools, however, remained and they changed Erfworld forever, until the day when the Titans demand their return.


(NOTE: User was awarded 25 shmuckers for this post. -Rob)


  • nikohl (Tipped by 1 person!)

    Aww yiss, Home Improvement.

    Shmucker for your intentional tailor typo.

  • lordfisch


  • Daethalion

    Seriously could not stop laughing as soon as I recognized what you were referencing.  My hat's off to you, sir!

  • bagelshmear (Tipped by 1 person!)

    The land of Bor.



  • cloudbreaker

    Will, Son!

  • quietrumpet

    Loved that show, and I enjoyed reading this; nicely written with a "prophetic" flavor.  I was skeptical that you were "superseding" scripture beyond 99 kings and queens, and so I was delighted that you ended it with retcon!  :-)

  • Morgaln

    Oh wow, it was quite the surprise to come on the site and find my story featured on the front page (to say nothing about my amount of schmuckers having tripled).

    Thank you, Rob, and also thank you to everyone who commented here and/or tipped me. I'm glad you enjoyed my work.

  • Lvallen

    In my head canon, thee Steward's name was Moor Power.

  • Madhattan

    Really!? I was about to attempt some writing of myself looking for some reference sources. Something hardly anyone would chose. You wouldn't guess what i took.!

    Nice done was a fun read :)

  • BakaGrappler


    Looks like Allen got Cancelled.

  • Unclever title

    I can only imagine the terror in that opposing side when might King Allen, given so much More Power by the Tools let loose his fearsome war grunt.

  • Nnelg

    At first I thought this was a repeat of the more satirical "Hundredth King" story from a long time ago...