Benny and the Gems

 

a parody of Benny and the Jets - originally by Elton John

*also see pg. 179 of Erfworld bk. 4 - this was Rob's idea

 

 

Hey Counts, stack your bats together

The schmuckers keep on flowing

But Benny’s here to balance the ledger,

Then he’ll have marsala and a chat tonight

Just stick around

Your gonna see that Money moving

Gems piled in mounds

 

Say Caesar and Don, have you seen him cast?

Uh but you have no doubts, B-B-B-Benny and the Gems

Oh wow they’re bright and so valuable.

And that Benny he can really swing

He loves enchanted loot, Whacamole hair suits

And has a pimpin brand of Signamancy-y-y

B-B-B-Benny and the Gems

Benny, Benny

 

He knows that nothing is priceless

Probably he’s jaded

But when Benny haggles, he always makes us pay less

Transyvito will thrive following his advice

We will fight our enemies until their defeat

To prove who’s strong and who’s weak

 

Well Parson and Maggie, now you’ve seen him cast.

Oh a Master without a doubt, B-B-B-Benny and the Gems.

Oh how they shine, they’re so useful,

Oh Benny how he really blings

He loves enchanted loot, Whacamole hair suits,

And has a wise old banker’s Signamancy-y-y

B-B-B-Benny and the Gems.

 

Well Bunny and Billy, have you seen him cast?

Oh but his Juice is out. B-B-B-Benny and the Gems

Up from the mines they’re so beautiful,

And that Benny he can also sing.

He loves enchanted loot, Whacamole hair suits

You know he manages your Side’s treasury-y-y

 

Oh, B-B-B-Benny and the Gems

Benny, Benny, Benny, Benny and the Gems

Oh oh oh, Benny and the Gems

Benny, Benny, Benny and the Gems

Oh, B-B-B-Benny and the Gems

 

 

 

(Note: User was awarded 25 shmuckers for this post.)

Comments

    • Crisis21

      Yay! More erfed music!

      • Pokota

        Parody Lyrics always demand to be sung.

        It doesn't quite fit the meter of the music correctly, which means it's not perfectly singable as-is, but most of it can be fixed on the fly as we sing. For the parts that can't:

        1. "Then he’ll have marsala and a chat tonight/Just Stick Around" is fifteen syllables squished into eight beats (the original is "(We'll) kill the fatted calf tonight", nine syllables squished into five beats, accomplished by making We'll into a grace note). I'm not entirely sure how to modify this line without breaking it entirely.
        2. "He loves enchanted loot, his Whacamole hair suits" - drop the (his) and we can keep Whacamole (even if it'd sound rushed). This occurs three times so it's on the list.
        3. "But when Benny haggles, he always makes them pay less" is thirteen syllables squished into four beats, compared to the orignal's "But Bennie makes them ageless"'s seven. The good news is we can change this to just "And Benny makes us pay less"

        Basically anything else that would need changing is already singable and just amounts to dropping an article here or there. These are just the ones that really need squishing.

        • Salvage

          Oh wow, front page. Cool. I really appreciate the awkknowledgement, comments, and tips. Thank you.

          @ Pokota - Thank you. I am not musically inclined. I come at this from a words perspective.

          • Murasaki

            Maybe we should start an entire songbook. There have been a few songs posted already (my first post in forums was one) and it does fit with Erfworld's theme of parody.  If there are any musicians out there, they could even post Youtube vids, similar to RMT records "Stuck in the Bubble With You" and "We Built This Citadel" for Eve Online.